My friend Ron Dotson is a challenging and proud marine. As he said goodbye to me today, out in my driveway, he hugged me and said, “Men are not supposed to say this, but I love you.”
I smiled and answered him, blushing: “I love you too.” Ron was awarded a Bronze Medical for his courage in Vietnam. He is the best man I know and is fast becoming my closest male friend. I love him very much. I’m going to work hard to keep this friendship going.
I enjoyed every minute of my week with Ron; I am sorry to see him go. We promised to stay in closer touch with one another, and I intend to keep my part of that. I believe Ron is too shy to initiate a lot of conversation; I will take that lead. He made it clear to me that he would appreciate that.
Ron is a fearless Marine but a quiet and humble person.
He said his strength and courage come from his belief that God will take care of him, one way or the other. He has never had PTS syndrome or trauma symptoms despite awful traumas; he sleeps well and long every night. I can’t say I know anyone like him, but I am increasingly grateful for his presence.
Ron is a gentleman who has seen more horror than anyone should see but turns it to sound. He does not ever complain or feel sorry for himself.
We met after he read my Thomas Merton life-changing book Running To The Mountain, a book published in 2020m that sparked my leaving my everyday life behind, losing my family, and moving to the country. The book moved Ron, and they came to meet me and see where I lived. We got along right away, but I rarely saw him. We never talked on the phone or e-mailed. He visited the area once a year with his wife to spend time in Vermont and have lunch with me.
He is a shy and thoughtful man; he never once made me uncomfortable or uneasy, like many people I met during those years. Ron and I share a passion for spiritual life, even if we approach religion differently. We are both deeply committed to working with the elderly, especially dementia patients. When he came to the Mansion today, I could see how easy and comfortable he was there, and the residents sensed it too.
He gave me a book called “Making Sense Of God, and I read passages to the residents today; we will be reading it together every week when I come to teach my meditation class. I like the book already. Ron knows me; he knows what I would like. My issue is that I have enjoyed every word Jesus Christ has ever been quoted as saying, and I relate to his beliefs. I do not worship him as Ron does. This is not a problem for us; Ron respects other people and their ideas. He does not have an angry or judgemental bone in his body.
He had never tried to persuade me of anything, even when I wished he could have. He never condemns anyone for being different, which is why, I suspect, we are good friends.
Theologian Timothy Keller, the author of Making Sense Out Of God, has already taught me some things I didn’t know. Although the Greeks are credited with inventing democracy, the early Christian theologians first expressed the idea that equal rights were not just for the wealthy or the natural hierarchy of Rome and The Greeks. Christ’s atonement on behalf of all humanity advanced the idea of the new and Western view of the value of the individual “immeasurably.”
Christianity argued for the first time in human history that every human being had “natural rights” not granted by the state, which could be used to challenge the state. This had never been promoted in our world before. Christian philosophers like St. Augustine argued that some things are owed to all persons, regardless of their social status, gifts, or abilities, just by their being human.
This is the idea we now call democracy, and after all these years, we are still fighting over what it means.
It was an enormous and still controversial idea to change the world. It changes the lives of the Western world. I confess I didn’t quite realize this. It doesn’t make me believe in God, but it helps me make sense of the idea and why it became so important. I thank Ron for that. I can learn from this book and never stop trying to learn.
Ron, visiting here from Ohio, came to the farm to join us for dinner last night. He fell in love with Lulu and Fanny and fed them from a bag of carrots he picked up on the way. They loved him in return.
Ron And Fate.
The day before, he came with me to the Mansion Memory Care unit to see the team and watch Zinnia work. The morning before that, we had breakfast at Jean’s Diner. Today, he came to visit and meet my medication class.
Ron and I have known one another for a decade, but our time together has always been fleeting and occasional. This week, our friendship blossomed. We are so different, yet at the core, we are just alike and have so much in common we can never get through all the things we want to discuss.
Ron visited me at my Meditation and Contemplation Class at the Mansion today; He was very much at home there, and the residents loved him immediately. He shook every single hand, saying to each one: “God Bless You.” I think I will borrow that greeting.
The Mansion invited him to come and conduct a service next year when he returns, as he always does. He was delighted to be invited. He couldn’t get over how great a job Zinnia did as a therapy dog. I said he could borrow her for the service.
Ron brought me the gifts below; I gave him a gift of a straw hat modeled on the caps the Amish wear. I think he liked it. He is a worse photo hound than I am; he takes photos of everyone to bring back to Ohio and show to his family.
Ron brought me two gifts, the book by Keller called “Making Sense Of God: An Invitation To The Skeptical. Ron does not ever seek to convert or proselytize with me; he wants me to know about his faith and beliefs. He kidded me about the piece I had just written about how I hoped people would stop sending me books, I didn’t have time to read them. “You might be mad at me,” he said. We both laughed about it.
I was glad to get t his book; it is right in my wheelhouse.
Ron says he can read about my feelings on my blog, but he wants me to know more about his beliefs. he also gave me the metal plaque above, quoting Michelangelo when he was in his 80’s: “I Am Still Learning.” Ron didn’t know it, but this is practically my motto. When I stop learning, I’ll be dead.
Keller’s book already resonates with me. He made the case for God’s relevance in our greedy, chaotic, and violent world. He quoted a scientist who rethought his whole idea of religion when he realized how compelling the central ideas of Christianity – sacrifice, redemption, forgiveness – were to him.
This was always my problem with Christianity. I love almost all of the values the early Christians promoted, yet as I look around in my life today, I see very few people who call themselves Christians following or even believing in them. So many people evoke the pleas of Christ, and so many Christians don’t even seem to know what they are. It smells like hypocrisy to me, and I greatly dislike hypocrites. Whenever more than three people get together to talk about an idea, it seems that trouble occurs.
Ron’s background was in the Southern Baptist Church, but he has been with the Evangelical Free Church for twenty-five years. He was born again and drawn to worship Jesus when he was 12.
Ron is marine to the core. He spent six months in a VA Hospital after being mortally wounded by the Viet Cong while working as a medic in a marine combat unit. The five other unit physicians were killed the same day he was shot.
I am fortunate to have him as a friend, and I look forward to continuing to break through the barriers that so often keep men from real friendship. Ron is the real deal, and I won’t let him slip away or push him away. I’ve done enough of that in my life.
