Since my love affair with Zip, I’ve considered the difference between dog and cat love. Although they seem to trigger the same emotions in us, they are two very different animals. I am working to learn as much about cats as I know about dogs.
I thought Karla’s post below (she is a cat lover and longtime blog reader) was interesting.
My experience with dog love is not as contained as hers – my dogs do not always need worship and acknowledgment; I think of Red And Rose and Zinnia, who never bothered me or demanded attention and have lots of things they love to do rather than sit with me.
But I think her point about cats is interesting. I see that cats choose people and do so often on their terms.
If they are well trained, dogs generally try to please human beings; they have lived closely with them for thousands of years and are smart enough, unlike raccoons and squirrels, to have learned how to please us so we will treat them well, better than we treat almost any animals on the earth.
Cats are only partly domesticated. They do not exist to please human beings.
This is what Karla wrote in response to a piece I wrote about loving Zip:
“This is why cat love can be so good – when they choose you, you know you’re chosen, and they don’t tend to smother, unlike dogs, who seem to need to be worshipped or acknowledged. There are exceptions, of course, in both the cat world and dog world to these behaviors. We’ve had 12 cats over the 23 years of our marriage, and only 2 of them “chose” me over my husband. I am the practical of the two of us, and I prefer that cats not sleep on me, walk over me in bed, etc. They all knew to stay off of me if uninvited and give me my space. My husband had no such boundaries and would wake up twisted like a pretzel with cats all over him. The two who chose me would simply come to me and politely “ask” for attention. I much preferred it that way. Perhaps I was a cat in a previous life.”
I enjoy and appreciate the many messages I’m receiving about cats and what they are like. As with dogs, most experiences and conclusions differ. Generally, people tell me cats “choose” their humans and are more independent than Zip. Zip is very fond of Maria, but he does seem to have “chosen” me in specific ways.
My dogs are also independent and will also veer off to pursue interests other than mine. So does Zip. Every dog is different, and I suspect every cat is too.
I notice that Zip is very much like a dog in the attention he pays me, the way he follows me around, and the affection he seeks and offers. I also notice that after a few minutes, he feels pretty free (and is) to wander off and look for something to kill. I hope it’s most often a rat.
Other differences I noticed:
Dogs are pack animals who usually closely follow human orders and training. Cats rarely share that level of obedience.
Cats’ memories also last much longer than dogs’, and training sessions with a cat must be consistent, continuous, and short. I have trained Zip to meet me on the used garden beds when I come outside and yell, “Hay, Zip.” Zip is more intelligent than most dogs I have known. He does much more on his own.
As I write this, Zinnia is lying at my feet, as she often does when I’m working. I can’t imagine Zip doing that, and I wouldn’t want him around when I’m writing.
Cats are solitary hunters. They are very independent creatures and often don’t rely on humans for much beyond their basic food needs and a clean litter box or an outdoor place to eliminate. They are content being alone for hours at a time. I think they insist on it.
I felt I needed to take the first steps to connect with Zip. He seemed to need someone like me, who is prone to scratches and rubbing and wants to be left alone most of the time. It took him a week or so to fully trust and accept me. When he was satisfied, he changed.
I should also add that cats seem generally more vicious to other life than the dogs I have known. Zinnia and Fate have no interest in killing things (Bud accepted); I’ve already seen Zip playing with and torturing mice, chipmunks, and moles. I know him as a sweetie, but mice know him as a kind of human Dracula.
Dogs and cats enjoy eating. However, cats need to ingest smaller and more frequent meals than dogs.
I think independence is the most significant difference.
Zip cares about me, but nowhere near worship or obsession. He has a lot of interests out there. I like that. I also find that I relish the affection and trust he shows me. But I wouldn’t enjoy it all day or all night. I’m like a cat in that way; perhaps that’s one reason he and I connect.
I see we have each ignited something substantial in the other. We give each other something we both need, something I didn’t quite realize that I needed. Zip did notice.
I’ll be writing more about the difference between dog and cat love as I experience it and read about it; thanks, Karla and others, for your thoughts, ideas, and insights about cats; they are helping me understand Zip and learn something I didn’t know. I’ll share what I learn.
