If I sit in Maria’s studio, I can look out at the feeder just outside of her studio window. I am never disappointed. First, the sparrows come, then the starlings, then the blue jays. I could sit there for hours, but today I just sat there for a few minutes.
Nature is the most beautiful thing in the workd if I pay attention to it.
As I’ve written, I have a new mantra and motto for 2024: “I Have The Right To Be Happy…” It works beautifully as a goal, expectation, a calming idea, a Troll repellant (it stuns them) and an inspiration.
Maria surprised me this morning by making this motto into fabric art and presenting it to me. It’s going into my study for sure.
Maria is happy this morning. Her favorite sewing machine broke down, as it being repaired, she was having trouble getting another free motion machine wasn’t working, and she fixed it herself this morning.
I was starting to argue for a new sewing machine, not yet.
I came in to check on her and I saw her surprise: my mantra in fiber form. I love it.
She’s on a hot streak today and full of energy, be prepared.
It lifts me up to see Maria at work in her studio. She loves making art in the passionate way truly creative people do. She gets radiant.
Her studio is magical place, so many beautiful things come out of there, and she is never happier than when those machines are going and she’s putting some vision of hers together.
I’ve been writing about my sister, and her collapse and breakdown. I understand that I need to let go of my own guilt and frustration at being unable to help her. She is being cared for, and I doubt I will get to speak to her again. I talked to my therapist last night on the phone, she has guided me past my anxiety and lack of perspective and to a better and healthier place.
Our physical, emotional, political, cultural and more life are the things we pay attention to. I think I have sometimes forgotten the centrality and importance of the heart. We see what happens when our leaders forget the heart, and let the compassion and empathy – two emotions of the heart – melt away, drowned by anger and grievance. It’s so odd to live in a mostly Chrsistian society that has so suddenly abandoned the most basic teachings of the Chrsistian faith.
A spiritual tragedy, a spiritual opportunity, a call to the heart. I’m aware of it now. My photography is all aobut the heart, or at least is meant to be.
(Photo Zinnia, a dog of heart…)
Last night, my therapist told me what I needed to hear: “There is nothing you can do about your sister,” she said, “you’ve done your best, she is beyond your help. You need to sit with it and let your sorrow pass through you and you will get to the other side.”
It’s good advice and I’m taking it to heart. Our public life is devoid of heart or compassion. We are on our own.
This afternoon and evening, when Maria goes to her belly dancing class, I’ll sit alone and in silence with my sadness, dogs sitting at my feet, a fire to keep me warm, and let it work it’s way through me.
It’s just like grief, she said, it’s a process and you are in it. I need to let go.
I went out yesterday and this morning to take some pictures of the heart, and they were right out there for me to see. Come and see. A spiritual life begins the mystical life of the heart from the very beginning of our existence, unreachable just by intellect. We belong to our heart from the very beginning, it tells us and others who we are.
I believe I was created in a state of love, and life can either drain me of love, or bring me to it. That’s where spirituality comes in. It’s really all about the heart.
Maria and Asher. Snack time.
Zip, waiting for our morning meeting.
A beautiful hillside, opening up to the sun.
We all read about overflowing streams, here is in one for people who don’t live near the water.
Constance, waiting for her hay.
The donkeys pick up hay and drop it on the ground. That’s what grazing anials do. They don’t let anyone near it.
The sun graces us with its presence Monday afternoon.
As promised, color and light for the morning as the day’s inch longer every day. I think of this as a message of hope. It gets brighter every day in ways we can see.
Fear is a barrier to life. We know what we want but fear that we will be unable to do it, start it, or maintain it. Martin Luther King, Jr. faced this fear on behalf of others. He wrote, “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase; just take the first step.”
Like many courageous prophets, Dr. King falls out of favor with those younger and angrier. His courage will never be for nothing. His heart was bigger than now.
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Maria never fails to surprise me. Many people love dogs and animals, but Maria pays attention to them, not just to coo and talk baby talk but to observe and help them. I love the emergency ramp she is building for the Old White Hen.
For the past few weeks, our Old White hen, the oldest of our hens, has seemed unable to jump into the roost. We found her lying underneath after the others had gone inside and slept.
This is both troubling and dangerous. Lying there all night, she’s an easy target for predators. We’ve been going out to find her, pick her up, and put her in the roost. I just thought she was another chicken getting old.
Maria was paying attention, as she does with our animals daily. She counts the sheep every morning so we know if one is lost or missing. They respond to her.
She doesn’t just love them and put them in booties; she loves to care for them and be a genuine steward. There is a big difference.
This morning, she came into the house and said she put a plank out yesterday for the Old Hen (so many hens were getting picked off we decided not to name them; since then, none have been picked off or died.) She surprised me yet again.
She got the correct wood size and put it next to the roost window. She was pleased to report that the Old Hen looked out and walked immediately down the plank. She got the idea right away.
Maria realized the problem the old hen was having was that she couldn’t jump straight up as the other two did, so she gave up and lay down. We expect she will pass on shortly, but it will not be at the hands of a raccoon or weasel.
I just never noticed that.
She will die naturally and in her own time. I told Maria I was impressed at how she pays attention to every one of our animals daily. She notices if they are sick or not looking right, and if we can help, we do.
I love that the old hen now has a ramp that she can easily use and get to safety every night out of bad weather and in a severe world for chickens. Like rabbits, almost everyone eats them. I hate to think of her lying in a snow or ice storm.
Maria plans additional work on the ramp; she wants to put some wooden ridges in it and attach it more securely to the roost. I love that she does this for a chicken; I never would have thought of it.
For me, the real test of animal compassion is always the same. Natural animal lovers stop worrying about killing off our domestic working animals but pay attention and are willing to get their hands dirty.
