The Unexamined Life Is Not Worth Living — Socrates.
I agree with Socrates, although I’ve learned that an examined life can be annoying and uncomfortable. In America, we are not encouraged to pause and contemplate our love.
Men who do that are often considered weak or too feminine. We are taught that women are supposed to examine their lives, while men are supposed to make money and, if necessary, kill or dominate other men.
(The above photo is an art exhibit at the Mass-NoCa museum that studies ugly or old things that can be beautiful.)
I used to think angry, bullying and domineering men mainly lived on school playgrounds and out in the Western Plains or got into Wall Street. Now I see that they are running the country. It is time to examine my life yet again.
I’m not one for nostalgia; I prefer to exist in the moment. Older adults often think everything in their path was and is better than lifetime now. Romanticizing the past is even more common than complaining about medicine prices. And just as futile.
But meditating the other day early in the morning, I had a flashback to my past and an insight into my present life.
When the young look to the start of their lives to determine in which direction to steer their own lives, writes Joan Chittister, we’ve lost a precious moment if it isn’t time to be the wisdom figures of our generation that they turn to.
If we don’t become guides and mentors and use our lives and experiences for good, what was the spirituality of all our earlier years?
Older men have been mentors throughout history, but you are not paying attention if you still think that is so. Young people are deeply immersed in powerful and hypnotic new cultures; they are not looking for people like me to advise them on their lives.
My experience no longer mirrors theirs, something I believe in accepting rather than clucking about.
Any 15-year-old with a computer or cell phone will be twice as bright as me.
The wisdom of my spirituality is not only for the young but is increasingly needed by the elderly. I think they need it more.
I see that older people are mostly invisible to the young, but I’ve also learned that there are other ways for me to make my life experience valuable to others.
When I said I wanted my blog to be a Sanctuary Blog, I was swamped with grateful messages. I can rest assured that young people will not abandon TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, or Facebook for my blog.
People, especially older men and women, want a safe place to go.
My experience and examined life can be valuable to others, and many want to hear it. This is a surprise but a happy one. I see I am far from obsolescence, which gives my life more meaning than ever. I have something to say, and some people wish to hear it.
My daughter rarely, if ever, seeks my advice and perhaps has heard too much of my wisdom. That is common. My life is not very relevant to her.
My friend Ian McRae and I sit down occasionally, and he asks me about my experiences in the world, both good and bad. He listens. I am pleased he asks; I feel my life is worth something. I enjoy that; it is rare to have a young person even look at me these days, let alone ask me for advice.
Yet, I am playing the role of the experienced older man in my blog and my developing views on aging.
Women and men tell me daily that my ideas about spirituality, anxiety, and seeking a peaceful and meaningful life help them—men and women, young and old. I doubt the younger generation will remember what I say, they find what they need online and their Influencers, many quite compelling.
Experience gives an older person the right to consider not biography but history. In my essays, flower photos, and life on the farm, I am learning that I have something to offer and that my life has meaning.
Our so-called media has abandoned them, leaving them confused and often frightened. They could use a sanctuary blog.
One of the difficulties of these years is the fear that I am obsolete, with nothing left to offer but complaints about Big Pharma and the pains of growing old. People doted on their mentors, but not anymore.
But to waste this time only on myself is the lure of extreme narcissism as well as angst and sadness. I have things to say, and they are at least worth hearing.
I want to stay involved in the world in my own best way, and because of what I am learning – photography, the Cambridge Pantry, the nature of animals – I see and learn things that I can preserve in myself (and on my blog) and pass on to other before I go.
It’s not my place to encourage young people to listen to me; it is up to them. I don’t expect anyone to agree with me.
However, many people are eager to examine their lives, especially now that they are paying attention. Self-examination is at the heart of spirituality and is very relevant today. We are all looking over our shoulders. I have many experiences to share and a place to help get people started.
Getting people to think is my mission.
At Socrate’s suggestion, I reviewed the idea of deliberate obsceneness in my life. I have learned a lot. I certainly need guidance in my life, and so do countless others.
I am excited to learn that I have much to offer and that older people, free of life on Instagram and TikTok, are eager to hear it and have much to offer me.
