Search Results for: Madeline

I saw the most beautiful breakthrough since I started my reading program at the Mansion, using reading2connect stories and workshop books.

The books were  written by Susan Ostrowski and Dr. Peter Diamond to help the elderly restore memory, find voice and read independently.

Until today, it was just me working with Joan and some others. It was going very well, but I wanted to go farther. And today, we did, much farther.

Joan has severe memory loss but has become deeply engaged in reading these workshop books. In elder care, people can become passive, are affected by the aging process, medications, and the sometimes restrictive life of the elder care facility.

Reading can be a great help to them, and when people suffer memory loss, they often give up on it. I hope this work helps revive memory and sparks a return to independent, not directed, reading.

At first Joan could not complete any of proverbs int he work book, now she is tearing through the books with humor, insight and confidence. Her stumbles don’t bother her, and she has changed before my eyes more than I might have thought. More and more, she is correcting my mistakes. Two weeks ago, I would not have imagined this video possible. Take a look.

Barb is a resident at the Mansion, an avid reader.

She often gets exasperated with Joan, who can be forgetful and sometimes drifts in out of the moment.

She loses patience with her, and can be abrupt, even cutting, though I doubt she means to be.

My own sense of Barb is that she is highly intelligent, a passionate reader – she reads all day – and is somewhat frustrated by the limitations and stresses of an assisted care facility. She misses controlling her life, and that many not be possible for her again in this life.

Barb  sometimes pushes Joan like an impatient parent. Joan is profoundly sweet, she is always trying and my sense of her is that she mostly needs to be encouraged and supported. In my volunteer and hospice work especially, i have learned to accept people for who they are, and try to love them for who and what they are.

I have come to love Joan in this way, we have a real connection, and I admire and respect Barb as I get to know her.

For these reasons, I asked Barb if she would agree to work with Joan and I. As an avid reader, I thought she would connect with this idea, and she did.

Barb and I talked about being patient and supportive – she is very quick, and it is difficult for her to deal with a world that is often slower.  She gave me one of her laser-like stares, but i knew she heard me. She wanted to do this work.

She said she understand, she cared about Joan and would be supportive of her.

I have a good relationship with Barb and we talk openly and easily with one another, even if she is in one of her legendary bad moods. And Joan and I have become close and connected, there is great affection between us and we always can communicate with each other.

You can watch the video and see how good this experience was for both of these remarkable women. This is significant for many reasons, one of the most important is that the reading we are doing is drawing in other people. That’s the big idea.

I think Barbara needed to find a way to show the compassion and intelligence that she doesn’t always have a chance to show. When they started reading together, she and Joan clicked in a way I had not seen before, and Barbara was encouraging and engaged. So was Joan.

For the first time, I sat mostly on the sidelines, jumping in occasionally. But it was them doing this reading..

One of the program’s goals is to encourage people in elder care to back away from passive activities like TV and re-engage themselves with the practice of reading, as good for the mind as exercise is for the body. in fact, reading is an exercise of the mind, doctors have found.

Ostrowski and Diamond mean for the people in elder care facilities to eventually read away from staff and volunteers and more by themselves.

This seems to be a step in that direction, Barb, who misses nothing and can be quite organized – she takes care of the parakeets – said she would be happy to continue reading and working with me and Joan. I’m not quite ready to leave them alone yet, but I’m looking for the chance

This is amazing stuff, and I am loving working in this way. We also had rehearsals for our skit, “Night Of Four Skits,” now scheduled for May.I’ll post a video of that rehearsal later tonight. Barb has joined our cast.

It is a wonderful thing for me to see Joan improve and restore some of her memory, it is an amazing thing to be part of it and see it happening. I will keep up this work.

I considered paying for the $3,000 training program meant to go along with these new books, but I have  decided against that, at least for now.

There is just way too much going on in my life right now. Friday night, I volunteered to run Bingo Night. I have never played bingo in my life and have no idea how it works. It will be exciting to see.

If you wish to support my work with the Mansion residents, there are lots of needs to fill. This work is made possible by your donations. You can contribute to this work  by sending your contribution to Jon Katz. P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816, or via Paypal.

Your letters to the Mansion residents are much appreciated (as are your notecards!). The Mansion residents who wish to receive your mail and messages are Winnie, Jean A., Mary, Gerry, Sylvie, John, Diane D., Alice, Jean G., Madeline, Joan, Allan, Bill, John K., Helen, Bob, Alanna, Bob, Barb, Peggie, Dottie, Tim, Debbie,  Art, Guerda, Brenda, Wayne, Kenneth, Ruth. The address is The Mansion, 11 S. Union Avenue, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816.

A few weeks ago, I knocked on the door of an 86 year old woman at the Mansion who I had never seen or met in more than a year of working there as a volunteer. An aide suggested that she might like to see Red, she spends most of her time in her room reading. I think she might be lonely, said the aide.

She was lonely, and depressed too, I think. And for good reason. Her husband still lived in her home and would not move to assisted care with her, she saw her grandchildren once or twice a month – they came for short visits, and were always eager to leave. She missed her church and her friends. Well, she said, I miss my life. She told me she was well treated at the Mansion, far better than she expected.

But still…”I  feel lonely here. I miss my cats, my neighbors, my own kitchen. I don’t control my life any longer.”

Psychologists say being a passive recipient of care in itself fosters loneliness and depression And she wasn’t yet even willing to venture out of her room, she often ate in her room. I told her I knew life in elderly care could be lonely, but I did see that people who joined in activities, drew on peer support, went on outings, did find pleasure and connection, I witnessed it.

I could see she was depressed. She had left everything she loved behind, and was adjusting to the loss of freedom and autonomy.

Researchers and doctors and aides all tell us that loneliness and depression are two of the greatest concerns in residential care for the elderly, from nursing homes to assisted and retirement living.

Typically, the treatment in elder care for depression or loneliness is medication, and what specialists call “light” social events, such as games, trips and social gatherings, all planed and supervised by staff or volunteers. I’ve seen that these activities do provide enjoyment for many of the residents – I remember the Boat Trip in the Fall, still being talked about, we’ll do it again in the Spring.

But much of the loneliness and depression in elder care facilities is beyond the reach of the staff or other residents. It has, I think, more to do with having lost so much of the meaning in their lives. Puzzles and trips can’t remedy that. It is, in fact, often depressing, to be at the edge of life, unable to stay in your own home with your own friends, neighbors and family, your own dogs and cats.

In our culture, the loneliness and sadness of the institutionalized elderly are noticed by staff, and sometimes by family, but the outside world doesn’t seem to want to know too much about life inside of elder care facilities. Doctors come and go, and write prescriptions, family comes occasionally but you will almost never read about the isolation people feel when they are shut away, out of sight and mind of the rest of society. We can prolong life, but we don’t seem to care  how it is lived.

I think the world treats the elderly in a paternalistic way, much as they treat small or helpless children. We change our voices, slow our speech, exaggerated our language. “People talk to me like I talk to my grandchildren when they were young,” one resident told me, “they don’t think we are very bright.”

I read one research paper that argues that “programs fostering engagement and peer support provide opportunities for residents to be socially productive, emotionally stimulated and to develop valuable social identity. I think the idea of peer support is interesting for me, but I also see that it’s easy to publish research papers, hard to carry out new programs in facilities that don’t have lots of money to spend.

Medicaid facilities like the Mansion don’t have lots of money to spend, although they tie themselves in knots looking for outings, interaction with the community and a wide range of activities. Activities are find, but they can’t offer meaning to people in assisted care.

I remember how important it was to Connie when she began making caps for new-born babies and people with kidney disease on dialysis. She was proud, engaged, alert and enthusiastic.

I see  how thrilled the residents are to rehearse for our skits. They simply light up, and feel useful.

Connue  had meaning in her life, thanks to the Army Of Good. in my volunteer work, i always listen for requests for tools for meaningful work. This week, i distributed two crochet kids, a score of notecards for eager letter writers, stamps for people who with to send messages to wildlife preservation or animal rescue organizations. And four mysteries and two books of poetry for enthusiastic readers.

Art has found new meaning in the intellectual stimulation he finds in playing chess with Tim. I’m getting him a chess set with Biblical figures. I think my job is to support the search for meaning.

The blog readers send hundreds of messages to Mansion residents each week, and I believe this has  greatly diminished some of their loneliness and a sense of isolation for many. They often tell me the stories in the letters they get, and see letter  writers as valued friends.

More than anything, they thank me for coming back again and again. Every time they see me, many assume they will never see me again.

You can help ease some of the isolation and loneliness that comes with aging by writing the residents c/o The Mansion, 11 S. Union Avenue. Every day, Julie Smith, the Activities Director, walks through the halls delivering letters, it is an exciting time of the day now.

Here are the names of the residents who wish to receive your letters: Winnie, Jean A., Ellen, Mary, Gerry, Sylvie, John, Diane, Alice, Jean G., Madeline, Joan, Allan, Bill, John K., Helen, Bob, Alanna, Barbara, Peggie, Dottie, Tim, Debbie, Ben,  Art, Guerda, Brenda, Wayne, Kenneth, Ruth.

I’m thinking ahead to Easter and if you are so inclined, decorations, banners, gifts and messages would be wonderful.

We had our second rehearsal for “Night Of Four Skits,” a production we are producing at the Mansion on April 5.

Madeline has signed up, she is a natural, there is no doubt she has had some drama training. And we were all shocked and pleasantly surprised when Allan accepted my invitation to join the cast – he is often quite quiet and withdrawn.

We chose “The Couple”, a funny skit about an older married couple telling a lot of truth to one another. The skit is funny and relevant, and the actors and dozen or so residents playing the audience loved it. Come see Madeline and Allan at the first run-through rehearsal.

I’m using four skit books from reading2connect, the publishing house whose books I have been using in the reading program. I have some decisions to make about how far to pursue my reading program. To be truly effective, one has to take the special course in  helping the elderly to read independently.

It costs $3,000 and I have decided against taking it. It’s too much money, the Mansion can’t afford it, and neither can I, and I don’t want to raise money for it, I can go further with the reading materials I know have. Maybe in a year or so, if I’m’ still doing it.

I can go further than I have with what I have. Take a look at the rehearsal video, I’m not sure any of this would have been possible six months ago. Come and watch. Madeline is a natural ham, Allan is right for this part.

At the end of lunch, Madeline, who is a Mansion resident in her mid-90’s, said she wanted to thank the RISSE soccer team for coming to the Mansion for lunch today. “We really appreciate your being here,” she told Ali and the boys. “I loved talking with you and hearing about your lives. Sometimes, it’s quiet her, and you brightened all of us up,” she said. The boys thanked her back.

I had the pleasure and wonder at seeing two worlds meet at the Mansion for lunch Friday, the residents and the RISSE soccer team, comprised of refugee children from Africa, Asia, Afghanistan and the Middle East.

The residents the RISSE kids meet in two different rooms due to the size of the group, one in the Great Room, one in the dining hall. The residents were eager to meet the refugees and peppered me with questions about them. There were some awkward moments – some of the residents are hard of hearing, others have some memory issues, and some of the refugees speak little or no English.

But kids and residents broke through again and again, asking one other basic questions – where are you from? How did you get here? What are your lives like? What are the things you love to do in the world?

Maria and I and the staff served the food from the Round House Bakery – selection of sandwiches.

Four of five of the residents, Sylvie, Brother Peter, Madeline, Barb, took the lead and had questions prepared for the RISSE kids and five or six of the RISSE kids were curious about the residents and asked them how they live and why they were there?

It was a powerful thing to see, it was not easy for either side. But it was meaningful to both. I was surprised at how many people from both sides thanked me and asked if they could meet again. I was much moved by it.  Afterwards, the RISSE kids came over to Bedlam Farm to see Red herd the sheep and meet donkeys for the first time.

A winter storm was fast approaching, and it was cold and rainy, so their visit was cut short, they’ll come back in the Spring. It was inspiring of me to see this, these two groups have more in common than many think, and it was fascinating to see people realize it.

More later.