Last week, I noticed that Maria and I had “low” spots; we seemed to deflate sometimes, unlike us. We’d ask each other if we were “down,” which is not a question we often ask one another. We’ve had enough depression and anxiety in our lives; we don’t need it anymore.
We both work like frantic hens chasing bugs. We love our lives, and our work is going well.
I figured out the problem. It was politics, specifically Washington, seeping into both of our heads. It was so close I couldn’t see it.
I told Maria I was moving away from Washington’s political mayhem and turning to my personal and singular sanctuaries and spiritual work. But as I said earlier, it won’t be simple or instant. I will have to work at it, like an alcoholic getting sober. It doesn’t just happen because I want it to; I need tools to make it stick and some willpower. Maria and I came up with an essential new idea this weekend.
Politics, cruelty, and division have affected me as a former political writer. I love this country, and it has always been good for me. However, it is excruciating to see it being chipped away and dismantled by billionaires who confuse cruelty with change and bullying with inspiration.
I decided we both needed to think and do more to stay grounded and positive. This strict order is like asking people not to smell or feel a volcano erupting. My idea is not a one-step process but a commitment to hard work to retain my values, peace of mind, and meaningful life. It will require discipline and will. I just wanted to let you know that I can do it.
Here’s what we agreed to do, the first step. We will not read, listen to, or discuss politics and the Washington nightmare on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. I am sincerely optimistic about the future, but the present troubles me. Spiritually, it’s supposed to go the other way.
The cultural violence and the culture wars are so brutal to listen to and put out of my mind when I think of all the victims – of fire, politics, flood, hatred, billionaire assaults, unhinged and deluded leaders – that are suffering, frightened, and confused. I never imagined my country turning on helpless children.
We won’t read or listen to politics, and we won’t discuss the subject with one another, no matter what we heard or were told. No politics when we wake up, non online, non on the radio, none in news alerts and none to start the day, no muttering of flashes of anger or complaint. Each day, we’ll assess our feelings about how the plan works. My belief – Maria shares it – is that clinging to our neew discipline will eventually train our psyche and become a habit, not a social habit or addiction.
We both have work we love and lots to do. I call this First Three Steps, to start, three days at a time.
We’ve been doing this for two days and are surprised by the result. We are calmer and happier. Instead of mentioning the awful things we hear and lapsing into anger or anxiety, we talk about things we care about that we love—our work, our books, the things we read, the friends we talk to, the animals, and our art. We sleep well and feel more creative and energetic than in weeks or months. We felt the difference immediately.
Love is a grounding medicine; it lifts the hard and buttresses the soul.
By turning off the noise and refusing to speak of it or engage with it, our minds have opened up to better, more positive, and more creative ideas. We are now having excellent conversations again and laughing a lot.
We are surprised by the change—I feel it in my body. Every once in a while, we may check the news to see what we missed, but this will open, we hope, a new channel in the brain. We plan to assess these first three days on Monday and decide whether to continue with this idea and for how long.
My brain will get into the habit and get the message, which could become natural and permanent. We’ll see. What I put into my head matters.
This doesn’t sound like brain surgery, and I am surprised I didn’t think of it sooner. Sometimes, the most straightforward solutions are the best ones, right under my nose. Maria says she hasn’t felt lighter or slept better in a long time. I’ll keep writing about how it’s going. It is a spiritual solution, not one of domination, anger, or hatred.
This is where I belong. There is nothing there for me there.
