Bedlam Farm Blog Journal by Jon Katz

Those of you who have been kind enough to follow me this past few years might be aware of how improbable my life is now, how many curious and unexpected twists it has taken, and how long and sometimes uphill a process it has been.

And how rich and full it has become.

Many of the people I know are wringing their hands and beating their breasts over the current state of things, and as much suffering and worry as there is, these past few years have been  good to me, they have opened doors and gates for me and let me down a road I believe I was destined to travel.

This time has brought me riches and satisfaction and joy beyond my imagination just a short while ago. In darkness, there is learning and awakening.

I think the issue for any spiritual or feeling person is whether or not there is anything in our world that we can truly call “sacred,” whether it be God or love or purpose. Something is sacred when it is devoted to a religious or spiritual or higher purpose, I believe I have found such a purpose.

In recent weeks, and thanks in great measure to this collection of strangers we call the Army Of Good,  we have altered some lives, human and animal.

Kelly Patrick has burned her tent and moved out of it into a comfortable, safe and dry home, thanks to the support we provided her in being able to rent a place to live for herself, her daughter and her grandson.

Every time it rains, I give thanks that she is in that better place, she is a good person with a good heart, she deserves to live in a real home.

This week, Sakler Moo, an especially gifted and courteous young refugee from Thailand, who has suffered greatly on his journey to America, was accepted into a prestigious school called the Albany Academy.

We were able to give the school the  $6,000 that was needed to close the gap between what they could give him and what he needed to pay his tuition.

He starts school September 7, and I have committed myself to paying this money over the next three years as well.

Sakler’s young live is forever changed.

In a new kind of adventure for me, I have joined forces with a loving group of animal lovers called the Friends Of Homeless Animals to find good and loving homes for some of the most desperate and poorly treated animals in our world.

They are the saddest of the sad, the lepers of the dog world, and we have already found good homes for two of them, considered unadoptable by their rescuers just a few weeks ago. Their names are Evie and Jen, and hopefully, Albert one day soon.

They are dogs, of course, but more than that, they are timely and needed symbols of our own love,  empathy and humanity the two things we are do disturbed to find receding in our culture and political life.

When I looked beyond the narrow confines of my farm, I see so much anger and conflict it is hard to be hopeful about our lives, but then I have found my own attitude to resignation and despair: doing some good, what could be simpler?

It is easier to do good fo dogs than people, and cheaper. But both are rewarding in their own way.

Dogs are a mirror of our lives, they reflect us and our own ability to find compassion and bring it into our lives. Yesterday, a community of strangers, from Arkansas to Texas to Upstate New York to Minnesota joined hands and hearts to give Evie a loving home for the rest of her days.

Hers was a life far down the list of our self-absorbed human concerns, now transformed. It does take a village, and we are one. For Debra in Minnesota, Evie’s life was not too small to save.

And then there are the Mansion residents, people I have come to know and love. They are also symbols beyond their own reality, a measure of how we can care for the vulnerable and the sometimes abandoned in small but meaningful ways.

It feels sacred to me to bring them the mechanics of life – soap, shoes, underwear, socks, stamps and envelopes, books and movies, attention and affection.

Every time I see the gratitude and relief in their eyes to be able to walk in shoes that fit I feel a kind of joy once unknown to me. Mostly, they wish to be known and remembered as they move to the edge of life.

It is a minor miracle to me – and I think to many of you – to change a life in profound and last ways, from Sakler Moo to Kelly Patrick to poor Evie left to die in a filthy concrete cell.

What I most want to say here is that when the totality of my life is lived as a series of Beloved messages sent out into the world, then everything I meet and everything that happens to me and to us becomes a unique opportunity to choose a life that cannot be conquered by anger, cruelty or the smallness of spirit, or even by death.

In my life, joy and suffering become the way to spiritual fulfillment, which I am beginning to feel in life for the first time.

In a letter to his friend, a philosopher, the author Julien Green wrote: “When you think of the mystical experience of many saints, you may ask yourself whether joy and suffering aren’t aspects of the same phenomenon on a very high level.”

I think, for me, this is so. We are sent her for a very short time, and I have come to see that it best spent on the search for good, not wealth or power. Some days, I can hardly believe I can be involved in so much good.

I am coming to see that this is not temporal, or fleeting. It is here inside of me for real. I think they call that faith.

Thanks to you all for making this possible.

Audio: Remember Albert

At The Mansion, we do not perform miracles, we do not play God, we commit small acts of great kindness. Every few weeks, I sponsor an outing, lunch at the Round House Cafe (above) for three or four residents. Julie, the Activities Director, always comes along. We order off the menu, usually soup and sandwiches.

The groups are small so that we can talk and get to know each other. I love hearing the residents tell the story of their lives.

Getting out for lunch means a great deal to the residents, and the lunches have become  important to me as well. In these small gatherings, I see the great value of them being out in the world among people.

It is so important that they get to step out of their lives.

One of the residents does not want to be photographed, I always warn her and she turns away from the camera. It is always their choice to be photographed or not.

I get the best tips on what the residents need from some of the night staff, they know as well as anyone what clothes or shoes the residents have, they help  put them to bed. At Bingo night, I get slips of paper asking for help for this resident or that one.

Tonight, one of the men told me he needs warmer sweatpants for the winter. I ordered two pairs for him.

An aide told me an older woman desperately needs wide shoes, her feel have swollen and it is painful for her to walk in her old shoes. She is, I was told, in pain  whenever she puts her shoes on.

Another aide told me of a resident who only owns dresses, she has no sweatpants or comfortable summer or fall clothes. I ordered her two pairs of sweatpants, one colorful, one black. Two residents needed underwear, I got three sets.

This week, the Mansion’s new Portable Lightweight Wheelchair Scale is on the way, courtesy of the Army of Good. The very old one they had was too narrow and was extraordinarily difficult for the staff to use.

We have made a huge difference to the residents. If you wish to help me help the residents, you can send a contribution to me, Jon Katz, P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816 or via Paypal, [email protected]. Please mark the check or payments “The Mansion.” And thanks.

Albert is a loving, high-spirited mixed breed, he happens to be Bud’s great pal, the two play together all day in Carol Johnson’s home in Arkansas.  Albert is also one of the lost boys, a Friends Of Homeless Animals lost dog, one of the unadoptables.

Carol says he is something of a devil, he loves to play. He is very active with a lot of personality, he loves to “mouth” people  as a means of play and affection. he is three years old and weights 11 lbs.

He is a heartworm dog, very healthy now.

FOHA has spent more than $1,200 on his medical care, and they are asking for a $650 donation for him to cover some of their costs. If somebody decides to adopt him,  I would consider trying to raise money to pay for him through the blog.

Among all of us, I’m sure we could help if it meant Albert getting a good home, everyone who knows him seems to love him.

He is clear of  his heartworm. He has a tendency to chase cats and Carol says he has an “energetic personality,” which means he can get crazy sometimes. He does love to play with other dogs, and he loves people.

Albert’s story – every dog has a great story at FOHA – is that his original owner tied him up on a short leash all day outside, prompting complaints to Animal Control in the town. One day, his leash broke and he ran off into the woods where his rope got caught on a branch and he was trapped and nearly died of exposure and starvation.

A hiker came across him – he was starving and terrified – and called Animal Control, who seized the dog and brought him to a shelter. His eyes speak volumes about his life.

Carol is fond of this dog, I can tell, but lost dogs are not for everyone.

They are for many, and when you look at dog, it either clicks or doesn’t. If it’s right, a voice goes off in  your head which says “this is my dog, I want to bring him home,” and you do.

If you’re interested in learning more about Albert, you can e-mail Carol Johnson, our guardian angel of lost dogs, at  [email protected].

Evie, one of the lost dogs, and a much harder case than Albert, and she was adopted  earlier today, so I think we’re hot. Empathy and compassion are contagious, the Army Of Good practices both every day.

Not surprisingly, Albert likes attention. I think he’s a good dog, full of love and energy.

Carol says he is bright and easy.

You can check out Albert here. Give it a thought.

Of all the Mansion residents, Madeline, who is in her 90’s and grew up in an orphanage in the Bronx, loves music the music. A musician came to the Mansion today, and he sang the Beatles song “When I’m Sixty-Four.”

The song was especially prescient and empathetic for Paul McCartney, who wrote it, and the very young Beatles, who sang it. It showed an almost exquisite sensitivity for older people and the things they feel and worry about.

At the Mansion, almost everyone has seen sixty-four a long time ago, and while the Mansion is a warm and loving place to be, aging can be lonely and sad sometimes. The people there have left so much behind, and lost so much,, and struggle for things to look ahead to. They often feel abandoned and forgotten.

It is a pleasure to watch Madeline sing along with the music, she loves all the music she hears and knows every Broadway show tunes.

Her face is music all its own. I took a short video of the Mansion residents listening to that song today, and I felt the loneliness and sadness that is sometimes an inevitable by-product of getting to be far past sixty-four. Come and see.

Three inexpensive items on the new Mansion Wish List, badly needed underwear for women, some paper plates and some picture hangers, from $8.75 to $12.00. Check out the new and very short list.

Maria and I will be calling the Bingo game tonight.  It gets wild in there.