(Above. Main Street, The Holidays, Cambridge, N.Y.)
We had dinner tonight at the home of Rachel and Chris Barlow in Sandgate, Vermont. Rachel, a brilliant artist and writer and sketcher and I have known each other for six years ever since she first joined my writing class. She’s still a member.
We got off to a rocky start, we couldn’t find Rachel’s home and were slipping and sliding down the icy and muddy hill near her home searching. We had to drive 15 miles to find cell phone service and call her so she could send her son Mac out to lead us there.
The evening was especially sweet. Rachel and her husband Chris are gracious hosts, the depth and range of Rachel’s work astounds me. Check out her art on her Etsy Shop.
The evening was lovely, but I was startled at the enthusiastic presence of her two sons, Mac and Ethan.It is rare for kids to want to talk to adults, I think, and I realized tonight just how much I miss talking to younger people, so full of enthusiasm and ideas, from computing to cards to Star Wars and the Avengers.
Mac and Ethan are both articulate and curious and fun, they are not shy or cautious about adults. I loved the way Christ and Rachel talked to them, honestly and gently and lovingly. I loved the way they talked back.
Mac has had a rough year, he has just come home from some serious surgery a week earlier, he talked about it openly and thoughtfully.
He talked about his love for cars – he fell in love with a Camero a couple of years ago. We talked about Stan Lee and the Avengers, and the struggle to keep Star Wars fresh and original.
In my life in the country, I realized tonight I rarely get to talk to kids, I’m just not around them that often. The refugee children often don’t speak English and are shy.
It is unusual for teenagers to sit through a meal with adult company. Ethan and Mac seemed to want to be there.
I loved every minute of it. Mac, who is 18, and I were just beginning to get into a blog discussion – he is thinking of writing about his surgery on a blog. You won’t be surprised to know I liked the idea, we made plans to talk about it further.
Mac had to postpone school – he’s going to the University of Massachusetts in 2019 – but his surgery went very well and he looks great.
Above all, I felt grateful for Rachel and proud of her. She has written eloquently about her depression and bi-polar disorder, I know something about the horrific days of her early life. We have known one another a long time.
Despite these challenges, she has written on her beautiful blog Picking My Battles almost every day, made mugs, written books, sketch books, and painted hundreds of very beautiful pictures.
Rachel has great drive and unlimited reserves of creativity. She has become one of the most popular artists in Vermont.
And she and Chris have also raised two great kids and reminded me of the importance of knowing children and being around them and talking to them. Their children were so at ease talking to their parents as well as us, there were plenty of disagreements but no tension or hurt or resentment.
It was just lovely to be there.
We ignore the elderly at their peril and lose out on their experience and wisdom. We moan at the next generation’s obsessions with social media and smart phones.
But that isn’t the same as knowing them or talking to them.
Without that, life is out balance. My life was very much in balance last night.
Thanks, Rachel, for a very beautiful evening I will remember for a long time.
