Bedlam Farm Blog Journal by Jon Katz

I can’t think of a better way to wake up than to get receive this message from Kathleen (I don’t have permission to use her full name):

Good Morning,

Madeline, who is 94, cried a bit when we told her that Wayne and Ruth were getting married in May. She thought it was wonderful, “how great that two people here fell in love and decided to marry each other.”

It is a rare thing in assisted care, but a beautiful thing. I am the Best Man, as it turns out, Maria is a Bridesmaid. As the date looms, Wayne and Ruth asked me to step in, the Mansion staff is busy and prone to distraction.

Wayne asked Red to be present as his Second Best Man.

So I called a meeting this morning – me, the office staff and aides, Ruth and Wayne – and we are setting things in motion. Several aides will be bridesmaids and flower girls.

I said the Army Of Good will help support the wedding – flowers, clothes, food, music for about 30 people, maybe 40. The Mansion keeps leading me to new things. I am a whiz at finding outsized bras and underwear and am now Wedding Planner.

I am new to this, it seems like I’m learning something new every week.

(I invite anyone out there to make decorations for the wedding – cutouts, posters, decorations, even favors for the attendees, almost all Mansion staff and residents. I invite anyone out there to send messages of hope and congratulations to Ruth and Wayne, The Mansion, 11 S.  Union Avenue, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816.)

I get to buy the stuff. No one there has the money for that. After meditation, I met with Wayne and Ruth. Wayne has no funds of his own, Ruth’s are very limited. Wayne asked for black sweatpants – he is bound to his wheel chair.

And a black pullover shirt, xxlarge for both.

I went on Amazon with my Iphone and showed the pants and shirt to both of them on the phone, we picked them out together and ordered them.

They are pretty cute when talking about the wedding, they just  light up. I got Ruth an address book Friday and she is carefully writing down the names and addresses of all the guests. It seems they all live at the Mansion.

Ruth and Wayne each wanted an angel pin for their lapels. I said they didn’t have any lapels, but they said they would figure something out, I found one online for $7.99, and bought two.

They are challenging and upending the stereotypes of older people that exist in America. Good for them.

We decided to ask Minister Carol, who conducts prayer services at the Mansion, if she would marry Wayne and Ruth on May 15, the date of the wedding. I delegated that desk. I’m sure she will be delighted.

I’m getting the flowers from a nearby florist in Salem, N.Y.

Ruth wants a corsage for herself and Wayne, she asks that the people in the wedding party “dress up,” and I asked her what that means. She said, “you know, a shirt with buttons.” I can do that.

I admit to being a little nervous. I’ve never planned a wedding beforer.

A local musician named Ray Gifford often plays at the Mansion, Wayne is fond of him. Julie Harlin, the Activities Director is going to call him and hire him for the wedding. I have to look for a local baker to make a cake and cupcakes for  the wedding reception. We’ll have punch also.

Ruth isn’t shy about what she wants, I did tell her we didn’t have an unlimited amount of money. And it has to help a lot of people.

But the Mansion is quite excited about the wedding, the first in anyone’s memory. Good for Wayne and Ruth. I hope I can make it memorable and nice.

If you would like to help with the wedding, here are the ways.

l. You can make cards or decorations or favors or things to hang on the wall that celebrate love and hope and Wayne and Ruth. You can send them to Ruth And  Wayne, Wedding, The Mansion, 11 S. Union Avenue Cambridge, or if you prefer, to me at P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816.

2. You can donate to my Wedding Fund via Paypal, [email protected], or by check, Jon Katz,  Wedding, P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816.

I don’t wish to put together a lavish wedding, but I would like them to have what they want. I’m buying clothes, flowers, corsages, cake and cupcakes (with lettering), a musician for two hours angel pins and perhaps a thoughtful and small wedding gift for each of them. God knows what else Ruth will come up with.

I’m thinking this will cost $500 at a minimum, cheap for a wedding,  pricey for the Mansion.

Wayne wants me to hold the ring before the service and perhaps get him a new hat.

They will be sharing a larger room in the Mansion. This is a happy and joyous thing, I am happy to be a part of it. Thanks for your help.

In photography, composition describes the placement of relative objects and elements in a work of art or photograph. Composition is said by critics and teachers to be a key aspect of good art and good photography.

In our time, smartphones have democratized photography, art photographs are declining in importance, though still valued by many. But the truth is everyone is a photographer, but not everyone can take a great photograph. Some of that is personal, individual – you either compose in your head or you don’t. I am not sure it can be taught.

When I first started taking photographs about a decade ago, I had no sense of being any good at it. I took photos of dead leaves and made them brown in Iphoto. When I look at them now, I wince, yet at the time, they helped open my eyes to my own sense of life, and to composition, both in pictures and mind.

I still don’t have any sense of my own abilities, I just photos of images that touch me.

A well known Chicago photographer saw my photos – I think someone in his family read one of my books and read my new blog – he began e-mailing me about my pictures.

He was dying of cancer – he was gone six months later – and the first thing he told me what thatI had a gift for composition. He critiqued my photos every day until he died, it was invaluable to me.

Keep at it, he said, you will begin a good photographer, I love the way you see the world.

Of course, I had no idea what composition really was. Maria would call me up every night at 6:30 and talk to me about my photos, she also said I had a natural eye for composition. I didn’t know what it was then, and I’m only beginning to get a sense of what it is now for me.

A friend, also a photographer, lectured me about “thirds.” Every photograph, he said, had to in thirds.  He had a lot of rules like that, do’s and dont’s.

I thought taking a photo that way was a ridiculous idea then and now – I never think of the rules when I take a picture, I just listen to my heart. If it touches me, I hit the shutter.

These rules reminded of my dull English teachers who thought good grammar was good writing.

Photography has changed me in many ways. I see the world now, the artist in me finally had a place to go.

A composition, I have discovered (this is me, not the gurus) has just enough detail, but not too much. In my mind, my photos are emotional. I feel them rather than just see them.

I only take photos that I think of as being “soft,” not hard. The brown leaves were who I was at the time, cracking up and miserable. They were hard photos. The photo I took of Fanny above (Biddie behind her) is the kind of picture i take now.

For one thing, it is in balance.

There is the shadow, the donkey, the sheep, all symmetrical and in perspective. The shadow is big, Fanny is small, Biddie is smaller. I like photos that have their own frame within. The apple tree, a centerpiece of so many of my photos, frames the photo.

I see that instinctively now, I don’t have to think about it. But like many pictures, I didn’t grasp the composition of this one until I saw it on the computer screen.

The hay feeder offers a touch of color in the back.

Fanny and Birdie suggest peace, the end of summer, the warmth of spring, the beautiful shadows of a tree. All of this leads the eye right up the photo, from the bottom up.

This image is comforting to me, I think that’s what I mean by soft.

The picture draws my eye  back in an almost straight line. I just moved closer to fill the frame and eliminate distractions.

My meditation teacher this morning talked about meditating on kindness. On being kind to myself, on thinking softly and gently. In meditation, I am learning to steer away from judgment and grievance. To be gentle with myself, to be kind to me. In that way, I might become kinder to others.

“Rather than giving yourself a hard time,” he said as the meditation began (it’s an app), “how would you respond if it was a friend who felt that way?”

I would say he or she should be gentle with himself.

I see every photo as a story, and all of the elements need to be there for the story to tell itself. Sometimes it can be a dog looking out on a field,  sometimes, as in this photo, an image that is perfectly balanced.

I see donkeys lying down all the time. But this image was different. It told a story. Composition in photography means capturing enough elements and color and balance to tell the story I want to tell.

Taking good photos of dogs is difficult, they taught me much about light and angle and lens speed.

Every photo is an idea to me, and the composition should meet the goal of expressing the idea. So light matters, and angle and how much the image does or doesn’t fill the frame.

Today, in meditation, it occurred to me that the composition of my photos reflects and mirrors the composition of my mind. As I have changed and evolved, for better or worse, so have my photos.  I am softer, they are gentler.

This photo seemed ordinary at a glance, but when I looked more closely – actually it was an  instinct, a reflex – I had to jump out of the car to take the photo. I think it is a very good photo, mostly because of the way it is naturally composed.

With portraits, I have only one rule. I have to like the subject, and the portrait is good. I can’t take a portrait of people I don’t like, or who don’t like me.

My photographs are a kind of meditation, in them, I see myself, where I have been, where I am, where I am going. There is something to composition after all.

Some people consider geese loud and obnoxious and dirty pests, others (like my wife) love and respect geese and like to see them hanging around, especially in mating season.

None of my dogs have ever paid attention to geese, and as many of you know, geese are pretty tough and have clubbed many a dog senseless with their knobby wings.

This morning, when we went out in the pasture, there was  a solitary goose down by the fence (you have to look closely to see him/her in the photo). Bud froze, and studied her for about three seconds, then took off.

At first, the goose stood her ground and I thought Gus would be sorry. But as always I underestimated Gus, who charged down the hill like a jet plane and nearly collided with the goose, who blinked at the last minute and took off, Bud in hot pursuit.

He never really got close, but she wasn’t taking any chances at the Hellion bearing down on h er. Bud is a menace, and there is no question about who the King of the pasture is now.

I got my assaulted computer back this afternoon, and got it running just in time for great news. I have to put it up on the blog, I told Maria, it was the first thing I thought of.

Eh K Pru has been accepted to the Albany Academy.

Eh K Pru Shee Wah is a poised, gracious and extremely bright young woman. She is 13 years old and spent 10 of those years in a United Nations refugee camp, she and her family fled the religious persecutions in Myanmar, and narrowly escaped.

Her life took a dramatic turn this week,  the Albany Academy is one of the most prestigious private schools in the Northeast. She is the first gifted refugee girl to be accepted into a private school under the new program I began last Fall.

I intend to help get some of these academically talented refugee kids into excellent schools at the recommendation of the dedicated public school teachers in the Albany School system.

Everyone involved wishes she could remain in the public system, but the public schools in Albany are underfunded and overcrowded. The gifted refugee children need special care and that it’s difficult for the public schools to provide.

I spent  months dealing with the school bureaucracy to find and talk to a teacher who could help me identity the most outstanding of these many talented students, and when I found Kathy Saso, a middle school and ESL (English As Second Language) teacher at the Hackett Middle School – the refugee organizations in Albany would not even speak to me – things began to happen.

Kathy jumped at the chance, when a guidance counselor relayed my plea for help, she called me instantly. It is a gift to see her with her students, her class size is enormous, she has great control of her students and great rapport with them.

Kathy was thrilled to work with me, and to support this work. She teaches refugee children every day and understands their issues and needs. From the first, she urged me to help Eh K Pru. It only took a few minutes to convince me, she is impressive.

It took a lot of phone calls (thank God I was a reporter) to find the right teacher, but Kathy is pure gold, and has a heart of gold as well.

Kathy introduced me to Eh K Pru, we met at her school.

By then,  I made my rounds of some of the best private schools in the area. She is very special, remarkably smart, hard-working, positive and gracious.

Two or three schools in the area are interested in this program, the Albany Academy was the first to jump on it, Christopher Lauricella, the HeadMaster, and Bramble Buran, the Director of Admissions, met with me and Alex Boggess, a senior at the school who has made this part of his senior school project.

Chris wants the academy to be more diverse. He was supportive of this idea from the first.

Kathy and I are meeting with officials at Emma Willard in Troy in a couple of weeks. They have a huge endowment, we hope there is some money left over for other students like Eh K Pru.

If Eh K Pru needs money – she will surely need some –  Alex will work with me and the Army Of Good and our blogs and school families and private donors to help raise it.

I plan to do this every year, I feel this is the most effective and rational way to help the refugee families.

Kathy who has several different jobs and works almost unimaginable hours, worked hard to help Eh K Pru fill out her applications and guide her through the process. Tomorrow, she wants me to meet a young student from Afghanistan, she says he is extraordinary and we are prepared to work with him as well. I’m going to see him tomorrow when school gets out.

The school has offered Eh K Pru a generous scholarship, in excess of $21,000.

But the full tuition is higher, there is a gap of at least several thousand dollars, I’m not certain yet just how much. There is a $1,000 admission fee upon her acceptance, due April 10. We’re planning a meeting to see how much we need and talk about how we are going to raise it.

This is a thrilling moment for me. What an honor to help this extraordinary child reach out for her  dreams, which are quite beautiful.

I am in awe of people who do this, it takes a lot of work and there is much resistance, lots of obstacles.  I never expected to be one of them, I wouldn’t think I have the temperament for it.  Dealing with bureaucracies like non-profits and schools is not my favorite thing.

It’s kind of addictive, I find. Once you do it, it’s almost impossible to stop. I’m not going to give the group a formal name, or formalize it. I’m just going to do it.

We can change a life here, and it isn’t easy to do that. I can’t really capture how good it feels. Kathy says Eh K Pru is filled, and her parents – her father repairs windows in this country – are excited for her. They great value education.

And as Maria points out, I am willful and not easily deterred. I guess that is so, I would probably be dead if I weren’t. This could never have happened without Kathy Saso, she is an angel, underpaid, overworked, and completely dedicated to her students.

I’m  going to meet Eh K Pru again tomorrow, after I meet Noosul. I’m also going to meet her family next week. We plan to celebrate. I thank you for following this work, and as always, for your support.