Bedlam Farm Blog Journal by Jon Katz

Cynthia Daniello and I have become friends in the curious way many Americans meet one another these days. I have never seen Cynthia or met her, and possibly never will see her or meet her.

Yet we are connected in important ways, hopefully for a good while.

She was one of the first callers to my radio show “Talking To Animals”, and she became a regular caller. I was struck right a way by her knowledge of dogs and cats and other animals. She was thoughtful, intelligent and wise, rare qualities in some people.

She had a calm perspective that struck me, and that is somewhat rare in the animal world.

Cynthia was the first caller every week for several weeks, and as I got to talk to her – and exchange some e-mails – I came to understand why she was so interesting to talk to and so unusual.

Even though the called with a question, I sensed right away she knew as much as I did, if not more. I learned as much from her as I taught. I could see that she knew almost everything I suggested.

She grew up  on a dairy farm, raised horses, lived with dogs and worked for more than 30  years as a veterinary technician. When it came to animals, she had pretty much seen it all.

I learned that Cynthia was 84 years old, lived in what is called “senior independent living,” a step away from assisted care. I was surprised. she was older than some of the Mansion residents, but so clear and strong in voice.

Cynthia also read some of my posts about aging, and in particular a piece about how the elderly often feel invisible and ignored when what they most need is to be useful and valued.

She is wheelchair bound and lives independently with the help of some aides.

She said she felt forgotten herself.

It occurred to me that she and I were having an important conversation beyond dogs and cats. A light went off in my head.

I suggested she start her own blog, her life was compelling and she could be very useful to the many people who had questions and concerns about their pets. It would return meaning and a sense of worth to her life, a painful problem for the elderly.

When I suggest blogs to people, most balk and twitch. The idea of a blog – of coming out into the open – frightens many people. Cynthia was frightened for about ten seconds, and said she would do it once her tech-savvy son came to visit her.

I’ve had many reactions to my efforts at creative encouragement. Some people want nothing to do with me, they find blogs crude and trashy. Some get offended. I had a friend I liked, an artist, who said he found the idea offensive. We are no longer friends.

Most squawk a bit about technology, as if starting a blog (it is free and takes about ten minutes) is a forbidding and daunting enterprise. Older people sometimes think it’s too complicated to start a blog, when it is actually easier than buying microwave oven.

The rare ones like Cynthia fuss and cluck a bit, and then see the possibilities for themselves, they feel the creative spark coming to life. They want their stories and ideas to live, they are weary of living out of sight and mind. Cynthia is one of those. Her body may be in a wheel chair, but her mind and soul are flying hight.

Cynthia will do it, I believe, the blog will give her the voice to the world that her life deserves. I will be there to help in any way I can.

Many of you know my strong feelings about people using this new technology to find their voices and share their ideas with the world, at any age, for almost any reason.

We all have stories to tell, we all have value, and Cynthia has a lot to tell the world about, and powerful new tools to use. She can tell her story and also help people in need confusion. It is not simple, cheap or easy to have a pet in America. I know that from the calls I was getting on my broadcast.

Cynthia’s blog would be of great value, and not only in terms of pets, but in terms of the challenge to be vital and relevant as we age. She is important.

Yesterday, I got a message from Cynthia after I wrote about her on the blog..

“You are truly the wind beneath my wings,” she wrote. “I hope I will be able to fly high.” She was surprised to read what I wrote about her the other day. “I was almost in tears. I don’t think anyone has ever seen that much value in me. I have been loved, and still am by my children, but this is different. On wings of the Turkey Vulture (my “spirit “bird, I shall fly.”

Her message almost brought me to tears. I wrote her back and asked if she could send me a photo of herself, she said she would ask her daughter to do it. It hasn’t come yet, I will share it when it does.

I mean to follow Cynthia’s journey, to cheer her on, promote her blog if I can, and then celebrate her courage and spirit. That Turkey Vulture is doing his job. Turkey Vultures are a symbol of ascending to new spiritual heights.

Cynthia is about to show the world  how far and high 84 year-olds can fly.

Fate is her own dog, and nobody else’s. She is all border collie, she has the mad and joyous look of a border collie who  has found her work. The only odd thing about her as a border collie is that she won’t actually herd the sheep, she chooses instead to run around them at great speed in widening circles.

Fate has a great time doing nothing in particular, she gives it everything she has. She is a happy dog, a smart dog, a loving dog. Perfect for us in so many ways.

Maria and I talk a lot about how to talk to the elderly and listen to them, we have talked a lot about the pieces I’ve written about that.

Alice is a lovely person, she is struggling with memory and words at the moment. She is very fond of Maria and whenever I see her, she asks me where “my wife” is, I understand she can’t recall her name.

Tonight at Bingo, Maria sat next to Alice and helped her with her numbers.

She intuitively knows how to talk to Alice. I brought Alice a picture book, as I often do, and Maria opened the book with her and pointed to the images and Alice named some of them, remembered others, and got stuck on some.

Alice loves to stroke and pet Red, but she is happiest when she can talk to Maria.

Maria talks directly to Alice, she is never patronizing or impatient, she never gives  up on the idea that Alice is listening to every word she says.

And Alice does listen to her, even when she can’t always find the words.  I try to do  with Alice, but I think she sees Maria as a  kind of daughter and is very much at ease with her.

Maria plans to come and sit with Alice from time to time and talk with her. It is so important to talk to the residents, and to listen to them. To show up, again and a gain. They love what is known to them, they so appreciate people caring.

There is always a way to break through and communicate. The residents know who wants to hear from them and who is just pretending.

It is most important to show up. Even if my name is not known, my face is familiar, and that is where trust is born. When the residents needs something they can’t get for themselves, they come to me, and that means a lot to me.

And to Maria as well. Tonight, Alice forget her walker, and so Maria walked her back to her room. Alice was very happy to walk with her, the sight of the two of them talking and smiling was a very beautiful thing to see.

The Mansion residents love to get mail. I can’t promise they will write back, and I can’t keep track of your letters or their responses.

This is a gift without strings. Many of the residents can read or be read to, but they can’t always write or mail letters.

Today, I brought Wayne his black sweatpants for his Commitment Ceremony. I brought Peggie two new Hidden Object computer games. I brought wooden colored pencils for Tim. A new wristwatch is coming for Ruth. Wayne wants some large print sports books.

Here is an updated list of the residents who want to receive  your letters. The address is The Mansion, 11 S. Union Avenue, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816.

Winnie, Ellen,Matt, Mary, Gerry, Sylvie, Alice, Jean, Madeline, Helen, Barbara, Peggie, Dottie, Art, Tim, Wayne, Kathryn, Ruth.

And thanks.

The Spring sun has changed the landscape and the air and the animals and our own spirits. Winters are long and  hard here, they make Spring all the more beautiful. Tonight, a snow and ice storm, tomorrow and Sunday, 60 degree temperature.

I took this shot this morning as I came downstairs and walked straight into the Spring sun, which was waiting for me outside of my Windowsill Gallery window.

I wanted to share with you a piece written by Jackie Thorne, an author and poet and a student in my Writing Workshop. Jackie, has worked hard on her writing and is especially gifted with words, wrote a beautiful and thoughtful piece on her relationship with a Siamese Fighting Fish called Hermes.

The piece is called “God and Small Things,” which is precisely what it is about. Jackie is an animal lover and activist and writes about the human animal bond, and our obligations to animals as well as anyone I’ve read since Henry Beston.

That is, from me, a huge compliment. The piece is on her blog, Creative Journeywoman, and I strongly recommend it to anyone who cares about or has thought about our relationship to animals, large and small.

Jackie, who sees the diving in a squirrel or fish, will give you much to think about.

Maria and I sat down this morning to record our first official podcast. It was a bit bumpy at the outset – I was coughing a lot (I’m on antibiotics for a sinus infection) but then we got comfortable and it went well, or so we think.

Mannix Marketing is helping us insert a musical intro and close – we chose Van Morrison’s “Bright Side Of The Road,” the same theme I used in my radio show, “Talking To Animals.”

Spreaker and Itunes will be connected to our podcast and it will be offered weekly and for free. We are both very excited about it, on this one, we talked about the decision to skip an Open  House in October this year for the first time in seven years.

We talked about creativity, animals, Bud, Maria’s art and creativity and a bit about our lives together. We are still feeling our way, and we aren’t editing or polishing up the podcast, you hear it just as we recorded it, we aren’t going corporate.

The final polished version will be up sometime next week. But I thought it might be fun for the blog readers to get first crack, feedback is welcome, [email protected] or [email protected].

The podcasts will be available in a podcast library page that will be added to my blog. It will also be listed in all of the major podcast libraries, including Google, Spreaker and Itunes.

This is a big step for us, our first joint creative project. Maria and I are close but we keep our work very separate from one another. I rarely visit her studio, and she only comes into my office to water some flowers.

But we are very comfortable talking to one another, we do it all the time. I think we covered a lot of ground we’ll smooth it out over time.

This one is about 23 minutes long.

The podcasts are free to you, but we might permit some ads to pay the costs to us. If you like it and wish to donate to either us, that would be fine.

If you wish, get the jump on the wider world and come and listen.

First podcast (without music or a permanent site) We are feeling our way, took us a few minutes, but we got it going.

Audio: Volume 2, Katz and Wulf On Bedlam.