Bedlam Farm Blog Journal by Jon Katz

Connie Brooks told me last week that the world’s largest publisher of lesbian an LGBTQ books was located in my small town of Cambridge, N.Y., I was surprised. I have never head of Bold Stroke Books. or met anyone who was published by them.

Sometimes I think our world is composed of a million islands and tiny nations, we just are blind to so many of them and shrunk in our little worlds.

Tonight, the bookstore arranged for a panel discussion with the publisher and several writers from Bold Strokes, Maria and I wanted to meet them and hear about this genre.

I don’t go to a lot of readings, but I was intrigued by this one, partly because I have been working with a group that supports transgender children.

The talks were great.

Mostly I learned that gay and  lesbian writers are well — just writers. They talk like writers, think like writers, worry like writers, complain like writers, face long odds as writers, and are intense and sometimes driven like writers. They are very much like me.

Lesbian publishing has the same trouble all publishing has, only more so, they are in a smaller niche than commercial publishers face, they have even fewer places to sell their books.

One questioner wondered if LGBTQ books should be freed from their special sections in book stores, but Radcliffe,  the publisher of Bold Strokes pointed out that this would make it even more difficult for their readers to find their books. There are now only 12 lesbian and gay book stores left in America.

I did not feel as if I were hearing lesbian writers at the bookstore, I felt like I was hearing writers, period.

One of the fiction writers on the panel – Karen F. Williams – is an award-winning dog writer, she lives in New York City and also has a home in the Berkshires, not far from our farm. She has a couple of cats and six dogs.

She talked about her new romance novel “As the Crow Flies,” and it definitely caught my attention. Her main character, Samantha Weller, a forensic scientist turned paranormal novelist, was saved and inspired by a crow that helped her avoid an almost certain death.

When she buys an old bookend that looks just like her crow, her world is turned upside down and eerily begins to resemble her novels.

The book so far tells me as much about being a woman as it does about being a lesbian. I liked this description by Liz, a racing car enthusiast,  of being pulled over by a state trooper:

“Most troopers expect to pull over a young guy with an attitude,” she says, “and when they find a woman in a business suit, they don’t know what to do, except let me go with a warning.”

As it turns out there is not only a crow, but a restless ghost. And dogs.

And some paranormal twists and turns. I’ve never read a romance novel of any kind, gay or straight. But when I went up and introduced myself to Karen – turns out she’s read one or two of my books – I sensed right away how much we have in common.

Six dogs? They are a major part of her books.

Karen Williams struck me as the real deal. She is passionate about her writing. She is a novelist and a psychotherapist, and also  a licensed wildlife rehabilitator who holds degrees in communication arts, philosophy and clinical social work.

She has written about nature and the human-animal bond, and was awarded the Maxwell Medallion by the Dog Writers Association of America. I am always impressed by awards, I have never received one in my life.

Sitting there in the bookstore,  listening to this very interesting fellow writer and dog lover,  I had this idea.

Could a straight author set in his literary tastes and  ways like and review a lesbian novel that writes about romance and  “explores the quantum mechanics of immortality?” I’m interested in mortality, and dogs, and even crows. And I love mysteries.

Is this time for me to grow and learn and shake myself up a bit? Stretch the mind and peek over my sometimes narrow horizons?

So I bought a copy of Karen’s book. And I started reading her book tonight. I’m only a few pages into it, and I plan to write a book review about it.

I’ll wait to draw conclusions until I finish it, but so far, there is the same feeling I had in the bookstore. The story is just a story, and a readable one.

The love and sex are just love and sex. I get the sense I’m reading a story of romance, with some science fiction and spooky other-worldly stuff. It feels like a rich mix.

I like Samantha Weller already and want to know what going to happen to her and what the crow means.

It starts off like a good story and keeps on going. I have 250 pages to go.

I realize how vulnerable we are to labeling and cultural prejudice. I’ve never once thought a lesbian romance was a book I should read or was written for me. I’ve never thought of buying one, no one has ever recommended one to me.

But why not? People are people, romance is romance, dogs and ghosts are dogs and ghosts?

Karen is thoughtful and has a sense of humor, that is pretty obvious. So far, so good.

I don’t get the sense I’m reading a lesbian book, I get the sense I’m reading a book.

It’s not the genre I have historically loved or read, and I don’t expect that to change. I have hated labels all of my life, they just spawn hatred and stupidity. Look at the people on the left and the right, watch cable news for an  hour if you can stand it. Labels are sucking the soul out of my country.

But a good story is a good story, and Karen Williams looks to be a good and serious writer. We have a lot in common.

This will take me a week or so to get through. I’ll be back writing about it, and I can’t wait to see what it means for me.

You can see and buy this book on Amazon for $11.95.

Looking at Maria walking on the back porch today, I couldn’t help but marvel at all of the color on her legs and sneakers. There was more color in her leggings and shoes than I often see in days.

When I first met Maria she wore plain dresses and jeans.

She cared nothing about clothes, and spent nothing on buying them, all of all of her clothes come mostly from thrift shops and consignment stores.

When she came out as an artist, that changed.  She found all sorts of colors to wear all of them from old clothes people had thrown away.

She still doesn’t ever buy new clothes, but she seemed to find her identity in  her life is an artist and her clothes began to reflect that.

Nobody I know dresses like Maria, she is very much herself every day, she wears the color of a visual artist, she has her own style, and she is the only one she needs to please.

Maria is always herself. Her identity is not in service to others, me included.

I joke that George O’Keefe always wore black, but Maria’s clothes are an explosion of art,  they have become  her art.

I came to see that this isn’t about fashion, about which Maria cares little, but about identity. Women come up to me in my town all the time to tell me how much they admire the way she dresses. They usually add the observation that they couldn’t get away with it.

Maria gets away with it, this is simply who she is, her clothes reflect her true identity as an artist who brings life and color to things –  her life, my life, our farm. Our farm house, once musty and stodgy, is bright and uplifting.

I love her new sneakers, they look much like one of the hanging pieces or Goddess creations she makes in her studio.

She doesn’t need any help in dressing but when I can, I will buy something she wouldn’t buy but that clearly wants to be worn by her. If I only do this once or twice a year, I can get away with it.

Her last pair of sneakers just fell apart. This came sailing across my browser. Identity is very important to my wife. As she told me tonight, she once submerged her identity, lost it among other people, and will not ever give it up again.

I support her identity as she supports mine. She buys me things all of the time and I yell at her for it just as she yells at me. Identity is important to both of us. Identity needs to be encouraged and nourishes, or it can wither and fade.

I am  grateful to the Albany Academy for creating a permanent  and tax deductible refugee scholarship fund page to support Eh K Pru Shee Wah’s tuition this year.  Hopefully, we’ll get to use it again.

Eh K Pru is 13 years old, an honors student at the Hackett Middle School in Albany, N.Y.. She spent 10 years of her life in a refugee camp, and was just accepted at the Albany Academy, an academically rigorous and widely respect private school in Albany.

I asked for such a page for two reasons.

One, so that the money can easily and quickly go right where it belongs – we don’t need a middle-man here, and the second reason is that your contributions to this fund will be tax-deductible, something I can’t offer.

I am committed to trying to raise $6,000 for this year, and for two years after that. Alex Borgess, an Academy senior, has raised money for the shortfall for the final year as a part of his class project.

I’d also like to pay Eh K Pru’s lunch costs – about $375 – and other costs and fees, (uniform, school supplies.)

I don’t think we  will be raising funds for another refugee student in this calendar year. I did send tuition support for Sakler Moo for the coming school year. The school will take over  his financial arrangements from here.

Eh K Pru’s story is a powerful one. Her family fled persecution in Myanmar and is working hard to assimilate to the United States. They are here legally, of course, and pay taxes and work just like any other Americans. They are not criminals here to take people’s jobs.

In just a few years, she has risen to become one of the most successful children in her very large school.

This is a worthwhile thing to do, I believe, it will change a life in the most profound way, Eh K Pru is one of the most gifted students in her class or school. Her teacher, Kathy Saso has recommended her highly and supported her every step of the way.

She is charming, gracious, and poised.

I believe this is the best and most efficient way for the Army Of Good to support the refugee community, and I am happy I can offer a tax-deductible way of doing it. The school will send donors the appropriate forms.

The Academy donation forms are clear and simple. There is a box which says “In Honor Of, and you can write Eh K Pru’s name there. Any overage will automatically be applied to the money owed for next year.

I’m seeking to raise $24,000 all told so Eh K Pru can be safe and the school gets paid what it is owed for Eh K Pru’s high school career. The school is giving her a $21,000 a year scholarship.

I hope you support this campaign for Eh K Pru, perhaps even bookmark the refugee scholarship page and contribute more than once, as you can. I’d like to have this money collected in a few months, if possible. I appreciate your support.

This matters, at least to me, and I hope to you. This is what the Army Of Good is all about, doing good relentlessly in contentious times.

You can contribute here in any amount, please mention Eh K Pru when you fill out the forms and send your donations, large or small. I will keep you posted as to the amount we are raising. We have done it before, I have every faith we will do it again.

And hopefully, the tax-deductible option will make it easier for you.

For me, the descendent of brave refugees who risked everything to get to America so I could live freely and safely, this is a patriotic duty, a great debt I can never really repay but which I can honor in this way.

This is what America is and has always been about for me and my people.

We are not a perfect country, we have no always kept our promises to people, but I think this is one promise we can keep. For the rest of my life, I will smile thinking of this opportunity we are giving this worthy and courageous child.

I know some of you prefer to send your contributions to me, especially the smaller amounts, and that is possible. You can contribute via Paypal, [email protected]  or Jon Katz, Refugee Fund, Eh K Pru, P.O.  Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816.

I’ll transmit any of those donations directly to the school fund for Eh K Pru.

This is a large act of great kindness, a life-changer. Thanks for considering it. You can donate here.

(E K Pru Shee Wan and her teacher, Kathy Sosa)

So I’ve had my meetings with Kathy Sosa, Eh K Pru Shee Wha, Noorul Potak, and the staff at the Albany Academy, and it is time soon for the next chapter: Making this dream come true.

The school has offered Eh K Pru a $21,000 scholarship, the highest amount they are permitted to offer. She has applied to this school, one of the most prestigious in the Northeast. There is a tuition shortfall.

To stay in the school for four years, she will need $6,000 a year in tuition, and several hundred dollars in lunch and other fees. Alex Borgess, a senior at the academy, has raised $6,000 for her final year.

I have agreed to raise $6,000 a year for the next three years. The school would love to get this $18,000 up front, but I don’t know if that is possible.

What I would like to do is raise the $6,000 for this year, as I did with Sakler Moo, and then raise the remaining money each of the subsequent three years. If I get it all, great.

I have argued that the refugee children need a full scholarship, not a  partial one since most of these families have no money. So far, I’m not getting anywhere.

Noorul Potak, the math whiz from Afghanistan,  is going to be more of a challenge. He has been invited to visit the school today and take the entrance exam.

I don’t know if the school has the money to offer him a similar scholarship this year or not, I’ve gotten mixed signals about it and I have pushed them  hard on his behalf. I’m not sure they like that.

If he is admitted, I’m not certain I can or should take on $12,000 or more for the next few years. I hope the school can work with me to come up with a doable plan for Noorul. It will be a challenge, we have had some hard negotiations already.

The first meeting to talk about that didn’t go as well as I wanted, but I am still hopeful. They would not have invited him to visit the school if they weren’t very interested.

I’m fighting hard for him, but the school has budgets and many needs also. Noorul needs to get in a school like this, I will keep on pushing.

These are both outstanding students, they will need no prodding or hand-holding they are desperate for the best education they can possibly can and eager to work hard for it. Despite enormous language and other obstacles, both have vaulted to the top of their classes, and their school.

Eh K Pru is all good news.  She starts in September. I have taken on the responsibility of raising $6,000 a year for three years. She will need that money to complete her education there. Eh K Pru spent the first 10 years of her life in a U.N.refugee camp. She says she learned a lot there.

I need to get busy. Eh K Pru is a remarkable young women, a brilliant student. She needs this opportunity to  grow and learn.

The academy has promised to put up a contributions page on their website so people can contribute directly to the school for her remaining tuition and fees. I will offer contributions in two ways: directly to the school (it is tax-deductible that way, they are a non-profit) or directly to  me, if people wish to send smaller amounts or prefer to donate directly to my refugee fund.

You can also send your contributions to Eh K Pru Shee Wah Tuition Fund, Bramble Buran, The Albany Academy, 135 Academy Road, Albany, N.Y., 12208. Please mark your checks Eh K Pru Shee Haw

The choice up to you and the Army Of Good, I hope you can help, but do it in whatever way you like. I have a special account to store and account for the money I receive, the school will keep track of their donations.

If you are sending contributions to me, please send them to Paypal, [email protected], or to Jon Katz, Eh K Pru Fund, P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816.

I hope to raise $6,000 fo 2019/20 tuition plus $375 for the lunch plan over the next month or so. Any overage will go towards next year. If I can, I will pay that off now or as soon as I raise the money.

Thanks for helping. These kids are worth it.

(Above:Bud does some sheepherding)

Maria and I recorded Podcast Three – “Spring” – this morning. We talked about hay, grass, bony sheep, mercy, Goddesses, and a bunch of other stuff.

Our home is a place of continuous conversations, the podcast is about sharing some of those conversations with the wider world, another way to tell the story of our farm.

Come and listen. Today or tomorrow, the podcast will be listed on Google and Itunes.

Thanks for listening. You can hear the podcast here.