Bedlam Farm Blog Journal by Jon Katz

Aging has been good to me.

I’m happier, more innovative, more content, more authentic, more in love, and I am writing better than ever now that I am free to write what I want.

One thing aging has done for me is to make me aware of time in a new way. I am not too far away from death, closer every day, and this does not make me sad or fearful.

This is what life is about, what it leads to, for all of us. I accept it with as much grace as I can muster.

I like simple things; they are the jewels of time. I am learning what not to do and what I wish to do.

I won’t waste my time worrying about tomorrow, sickness, politics, or Donald Trump.

Mr. Trump is a complete waste of time for me; he stands for nothing but greed, self, hate, and anger.  There is nothing there for me.  Yet I have no interest in hating him.

I don’t tell other people what to do, who to support, or who to vote for; that is a personal choice. In a democracy, we all have that right. But I won’t argue with anyone about it. I don’t really have the time.

I mind my own business. I pity those who can’t or won’t; they are wasting their precious time.

I don’t care to waste my time at this stage of life. I give thanks for every day of life with Maria, the dogs, Zip, the donkeys, the new friends I am finally making, my growing connection to my community, and the coming of age of my blog.

(Bud seems to understand what a waste of time is; he nearly lost his life in Arkansas. Today, he lay quiet, accepting getting a cut paw bandage. Bud understands the meaning of acceptance. He knows what it means to hurt.)

I am a better person than I was or even hoped to be, and I hope to get better than that. I aim to be a better human and do good every day of my remaining life. That keeps me grounded and grateful. I have never felt better about my life and my purpose for existing. Loving Maria has been the gift of a lifetime, and I won’t waste a moment of that either.

The truth is, I don’t have time to be a fool any longer or to play with or argue with professional fools.

Of course, there is a name for this. “When we walk for the sake of walking,” writes Thich Nhat Hahn,” when we sit for the sake of sitting, when we drink tea for the sake of drinking tea, we don’t do it for something or someone else.”

Hanh says that is the practice of aimlessness. When you do those things, you heal yourself and help heal the world.

I like this idea. For me, awakening means understanding this truth – I am learning to enjoy life’s ordinary things, my love, my dogs, my cat, and my daily rituals, and live peacefully and deeply in straightforward ways.

I want to spend my time on something other than ambition, argument, money, or politics. I embrace the small things; the big things are past for me. I don’t miss them.

I cherish the time I have been given and will not dishonor it by being angry, hateful, or miserable. The practice of aimlessness is the honor of the small things that, added up, comprise our lives.