Bedlam Farm Blog Journal by Jon Katz

17 March

Animals On A Rainy Day

by Jon Katz

Zip surprises me again and again. He loves to be out in the rain, snow, and ice. He seems to do some of his best hunting when all the rodents are running around looking for food.

As he did this morning, he hopped up on the back porch table and sat on the towel Maria left for him when he got rained on. Then he dries himself off with his tongue. Then he goes to sleep on his throne, the wicker chair.

Cats are a lot cleaner than dogs, who tromp into the house covered in mud. Zip is always clean, even after rolling through the mud.

The donkeys don’t care about the rain, Bud, the donkeys, or the birds. I sometimes wonder if they all get together and go over their own rules. They do hog the hay, chasing the sheep away from their feeder. Donkeys share, not with anybody else.

It makes sense that birds pay no attention to the rain; they live in it,  up on trees and their nests.

We can’t let Bud run wild anymore. He needs to be more trustworthy around the hens or even Zip. When I move through the yard doing barn chores, he looks at me in a quiet but sad way, as if to say he wants to come out and chase something.

Sheep don’t like ice, but rain doesn’t bother them. It cleans off the wool, and the wool keeps them warm and dry.

 

 

17 March

Susie Makes It Through Another Day

by Jon Katz

We checked on Susie this morning. She ate hay and grain and strolled in and out of the pole barn. According to our vet, there are no signs of discomfort or suffering.

We all agree she is near the end, but as long as she is eating and moving freely, we’ll give her the chance to die a natural and peaceful death, as sometimes happens.

I admit I find it amazing that strangers far away feel entitled to lecture us on how and when an animal should die.

This insensitivity—it happens every time—is an example of advice we don’t seek, want, or need. (Susie never got to sleep in the house in winter either.)

I wonder when Americans gave up on minding their business or not telling strangers what to do and how to live.

An army of yentas, as my grandmother would say.

When I’m saying goodbye to an animal we have loved for 13 years, I don’t need busybodies from all over the world telling us what to do or when our animals are ready to die. I can’t imagine doing that to anyone, thankfully.

There is an endless number of people on social media who live to tell others what to do.

 

One bored reader wrote, “I spent most of my life on a ranch. We never let animals linger. It isn’t the cowboy way. Would the Amish do that?”

The truth is that we don’t do it the cowboy way, or the messenger’s way, or anybody else’s way. We talk and think and do it our way. I’m not.

I doubt I would give a cowboy such invasive and rude advice and live to talk about it. The ones I know take their freedom and privacy very seriously. I also wonder if this person would ever say this to me if he sat in my living room.

I did have to laugh. I love my Amish neighbors and see them care for their animals well. But I’d wouldn’t use them as role models for Maria and me when it comes to putting animals down when they get old.

This message, like many others,  made me smile and say, “I’m glad I’m not them.”  I’ll keep people posted on Susie’s welfare. Thanks for your kind words.

16 March

Color And Light, As Promised. Dreams And Promises

by Jon Katz

I love my new Carra Lili flowers, an addition to my repertoire. I also liked the flower-in-a-vase experiment at the bottom.

We are having a friend for dinner, so I’ve got to sign off and help with the meal. I hope you have a great evening. I’ll check in in the morning.

These photos were inspired by a dream I had last night. This is getting into my head. Thanks to my friend Sue at the Cambridge Flower Shop for the idea.

 

 

It’s the curves, I think, that catches my eye.

I have yet to focus on anything like them.

This study is a flower in a vase.

16 March

Discovering The Dollar Store. Snobbery Is Expensive, I Like Saving Money

by Jon Katz

For some reason, I’ve been increasingly open to change lately, and I’m making some headway toward being a better human. I am less judgmental, angry, and combative.  My panic attacks are mostly gone. I rarely argue with angry people anymore. I do feel sorry for them instead.

My anger is melting away. I have no taste for nasty arguments.

I still want to defend myself and protect my identity. I’m not looking to be anybody’s doormat, but there is much to learn, and my spiritual direction is becoming clear and accurate.

I always avoided the dollar store, thinking it was cheap and suspicious.  I always thought the more things cost, the better they were likely to be.

I don’t feel that way anymore. Maria can’t believe it when I suggest shopping there, I can’t either. But I like it. A lot.

(P.S. Our food pantry is asking for a can or two of baked beans, which is pretty inexpensive, $20.28 for a pack of 12.)

I’m making real headway on managing our money, something we both decided I needed to do myself.

I have to take responsibility for handling money, something best-selling authors rarely have to do. Welcome to the real world.

Maria and I do work together, but I’m planning now. In just a couple of months, I’ve reduced our monthly payments by five or six hundred dollars without wiping out the pleasures of our lives—healthy food, books, and dinner with friends. I still have a lot of work to do, but I’m committed to doing it.

Finally, I shed the snobbery that was so much part of my mother and grandmother. The poorer they were, the snobbier they got.

Maria never spent money on herself, but I always did. I was a big shot for a long time and never needed to worry about money. That has changed, and it’s been good for me, as stressful as it can be.

I’ve never been happy as a big shot or a celebrity; it never felt comfortable to me, even when they made a movie about me (especially then.) It never suited me.

That feels like a distant time; I am becoming the person I want to be. To my surprise, the Dollar Store is a part of that.

A symbol of my change is my new appreciation for the dollar store. I’ve been buying Kleenex, toilet paper, window cleaner, and other household things there and am saving a great deal of money. Today, I purchased a socks package from them for the first time, which cost about one-third as much as the ones I’ve been buying. They are lovely socks, too.

I’ve never bought cheap socks in all of my life. I did today.

I bought disenfectant and tissues, toilet paper, and other household items. And I got to take some photos in this photogenic place.

Maria has been going to the Dollar Store for years and is amazed that I am open to shopping there for socks and tissues.  When I worked in New York, I only wore socks from Brooks Brothers. The Dollar Store is a long way from that. I love the crowded, authentic vibe there.

I am open to it and suddenly love bargains and lowering debt. During this last challenging year, I racked up some debt by necessity and am working hard to pay it off.

I am got a terrific price for Windex; it’s a lot cheaper at the dollar store, which surprises no one but me.  The disinfectant was half the price I usually pay. I don’t know how they do it, but I also don’t care.

 

 

Zinnia came with me just about everywhere and waited patiently outside the dollar store. I took her to the flower shop, where she was very welcome.

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