We had a Karaoke Practice today at The Mansion, Madeline, Ruth and Peggie all wanted to sing, I couldn’t get Kelly and Tia, the evening aides on duty, to sing, but they are weakening.
I’ll reel them in, or the residents will.
Madeline was remarkable, she had us in tears. Madeline is in her mid-90’s, she was orphaned in the Bronx after her brother stabbed her father to death trying to protect her mother.
She grew up in a series of orphanages in New York and sang and acted in community theater for many years. She has been in the Mansion for about two years, and is a regal and gracious presence there.
Madeline always thinks Red’s collar is too tight, and she always makes me take it off and loosen it. I’ve stopped trying to argue with her, I just loosen it.
She has struggled with some memory issues, but they melted away when she sang “Over The Rainbow,” with music, and then, “Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend,” without music, lyrics or accompaniment (see below).
A number of us – including me and Maria – were in tears at seeing how music liberated Madeline, who spends many hours reading crossword puzzles she can no longer do.
She loves to sing, and she proved it today. I am very excited about the impact our Karaoke machine will have on the Mansion residents, I hope to organize (and sometimes sing) at weekly sing-a-longs.
Singing is just balm for the soul.
Madeline agreed decided to sing “Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend” and she brought the house down.
She said she wanted to sing as often as we could get to the Mansion. It was a joy to see what music can do.
I want to thank the Army Of Good once again for supporting what some thought was a mad project. The Karaoke Machines cost several hundred dollars, including big screen, and took a month to finally put together. We will officially debut it on November 28, Lo Ann Sanders and her fellow good-deeders will bring refreshments, we expect to raise the roof.
The residents don’t know it, but every time one of them decides to take a walk, a staffer follows at a discreet distance, to give them privacy but also to make sure they are safe. Madeline went off for a walk, and a couple of minutes later, Julie yelled, “Jon get your camera, Madeline has picked up a bunch of handsome young men.”
She was in the middle of a circle of waiters and stewards from the boat.
And it was true. Madeline had found a group of men to charm.
Well into her 90’s, was born in an orphanage in the Bronx, and she has not lost her New York accent or daring. When I got there, she was surrounded by five or six young men, all of whom were laughing at her stories, they loved talking to her.
“What are you doing?,” I said feigning outrage. She laughed. “Oh, just taking a walk,” she said innocently.”What kind of trouble could I get into?,” she asked, “I’m as old as God.”
Bae Reh listens to Madeline talk about the theater. There was the powerful experience of listening that i felt in the Mansion dining room today. These refugee kids have some horrific stories to tell but they rarely tell them. Ali has taught them to be positive, to leave arguing to others, to not be sucked into the world of arguments, hatred and fear.
Stay positive, he tells them, stay hopeful, do not harden into anger.
Ali and I share this, Maria believes this shared philosophy is at the root of our friendship and work together, we seek to find positive space in a negative world, and if we can’t find it, we will make it on our own.
The refugee children have amazing stories to tell, but they came to listen. The Mansion residents, opened up by the warmth of these children, responded in kind. Two very different but very similar cultures came together to learn from one another.
And isn’t this, I thought, how it’s supposed to work, the young listening to the old, the old sharing their experience with the young? These children are finding their way in our world. We hold out our hands and hearts to them.
If you wish to contribute to their support, you can do so by sending your contribution to The Gus Fund, c/o Jon Katz P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816., to me via Paypal, [email protected]. Your money will be used – every penny – to support the lives of these children, and to who them the true generous and welcome heart of America.
When I began this work, I never imagined that the Mansion residents and the RISSE soccer team would ever meet one another, it never occurred to me that they might have so much in common, that they might possess an instinctive understanding of one another.
The refugee experience is not just about moving from one country to another. The dictionary defines a refugee as a person who has been forced to leave one place for another in order to escape war, persecution or natural disaster, a refugee is a displaced person.
I come from a line of refugees, and I was much affected by what I saw and heard today. The refugee kids swarmed me outside of the Mansion on the way home, they all said they wanted to come back. We will make it happen.
Today at the Mansion, we had the first rehearsal for “Night Of Four Skits,” four short plays to be performed at the Mansion by the residents on April 5.
Madeline is one of four actors who signed up for the readings, we’re going to rehearse with her and the others every Tuesday until the performance, which will be held in the Mansion Great Room, and a week later, at the Mansion’s private sister facility, the Cambridge Hotel.
Madeline is in her mid 90’s, she performed in community theater in New York, playing Willie Loman’s embattled wife in “Death Of A Salesman.” She is eager to do as much theater as possible and practically begs for more cultural opportunities. She admits to having memory issues, but is not prepared to write off her mind.
Gail, one of the activity director’s at the Mansion, is also excited about the reading2connect books, and has agreed to work with me on rehearsals, playing opposite roles, encouraging the actors, and helping me stage the play.
The residents are very excited to work with these skits, sold by our new and valued friends reading2connect. They know what they are doing, everything they create really seems to work, at least so far.
The Essex, Connecticut publishing house believes that people with dementia and memory loss (the Mansion is not a dementia facility) can learn to read independently of aides and guides. I purchased a set of four skits from them for $85. Each skit has two speaking roles there is a separate book for each role.
Susan Ostrowski, a speech pathologist and Dr. Peter Dixon, a doctor and co-director of the program, creating these books to challenge the idea that people with demential could no longer read. They do not believe that is true. You can see their brief explanation of the program on this YouTube video. They believe accessible reading can make non-interactive people interactive.
The four skits were initially written for the elderly by BI-FOLKal Productions who permitted clinicians Ostrowski Dr. Dixon to make minor changes. They have found that older people enjoy reading, and listening to their peers read. The skits are written to be simple to follow, relevant to the residents’ lives – preparing for winter, going to the doctor – and funny.
They are designed to draw at the innate and often wise and wry humor that characterizes so many of the people I see at the Mansion – they have, after all, seen just about everything – and they seem drawn to performing so long as they are not made to appear foolish or feeble.
No one wants to show case their memory issues. I’ve assured the volunteer actors that they will have scripts with them during our performance, their roles highlighted in yellow markers. The only hesitation I have found is when the residents ask me if they have to memorize the lines. Once I say no, they are all in. They know what they can’t do, but are unsure of what they can do. I feel my job is to give them a peek at what they can do, I see that happening with Joan. (see above.
The residents of the Mansion have absolutely no hesitations about getting up in front of a crowd, they love the idea, I think it gives them a sense of power and purpose. And it reminds the world that their minds are not dormant or useless, as the outside world often assumes.
The skit booklets are 2 to 5 pages each
Madeline, the first actor I cast, is vocal about needing activities of the mind that celebrate culture beyond just watching TV and playing games. She is a New Yorker, with a thick bronx attitude and a New Yorker’s bluntness. She is eager to read the reading2connect books with other residents, not just me. She sometimes struggles with memory but is sharp and engaged.
I love her enthusiasm and energy, it is infectious. Next, Sylvie, Joan and Allan, the other performers. They are all ready to join me in Tuesday rehearsals, now in the regular Mansion Activity Schedule. Their families will be invited to the “Night Of Four Skits.”
Come and check out these videos.
More to come. I am lucky to have found this project, it gives real dimension to my work as a volunteer.
The Mansion program depends almost entirely on donations from the readers of the blog. If you wish to contribute, you can send a donation to me at my post office box, P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816, via Paypal, [email protected].
