My friend Caroline has a different point of view than I do about the political chaos tearing the country apart. I hear and respect it, but I can’t agree with it. Rage doesn’t work for me.
(Above, my new friend Pincus came to say hello and eat some suet).
“What I feel most right now, Jon is mostly RAGE,” she wrote on my blog. “Not on my own behalf. I doubt my life will improve over the next few years, but that is not my main concern. I am enraged that someone so obviously incompetent and horrible in every way could be given the position of leading this country. I blame almost all those who did not vote and those who are too stupid to inform themselves about the truth. Americans have everything, and they have thrown it away. The bullies won, and that will NEVER be all right with me. But I appreciate all you do to keep our spirits up.”
I appreciate the thought but can’t keep anyone’s spirits up for years or months. That’s not my choice to make. I want to give them a safe and spiritual place when frightened, upset, or angry—a place to feel color and a place to feel secure.
There is no fighting on my blog unless I do it, which I do from time to time. I am no saint.
Caroline and I have been discussing this, and this was her latest and typically honest thought about my choosing to turn around from the anger sweeping the country.
“The thing is, I don’t want to feel rage; it isn’t healthy. I’m just afraid of what will happen if we all stop feeling it, you know?”
I told Caroline her comments touched me and reinforced my notion of her as a kind and peaceful soul. We understand one another, and there is no trouble between us.
But I’m more afraid of what happens if we don’t stop feeling it.
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I started the Army of Good in 2016 because I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life in a rage or continuous fear. The Army of Good set me on a good, healthy, and fantastic path.
As someone who has often known rage and anger, I was determined to shed it.
I learned that giving up rage and anger is not a surrender; it’s a challenge. This transformation and spiritual direction led me to make the best move of my life.
I say that selfishly. In my life, anger and rage have done nothing but tear my spirit apart and hurt innocent people. They have accomplished nothing but harming me and blocking acceptance and hope. It’s like chewing poisoned mushrooms.
Would it be better for the world if we stayed angry rather than helping countless refugees, older adults, and now, hungry people?
Or if I stewed and raged rather than started taking my flower photos?
_______
As he has a habit of doing, Donald Trump has once again shaken up everyone’s ideas of politics, decency, and empathy.
I believe he has some good ideas, and I am interested in hearing them, but he throws up such a cloud of bullshit and pettiness and vengeance it’s hard for me to get to them or through them. Sadly for all of us, he is a self-destructive man; being charming only gets one so far.
Once again, he will find a way to discredit his message; his rage can do that for him. I don’t think I have the power or desire to intervene.
My dialogue with Caroline is valuable.
I know she is kind and generous. This experience did shake me up and get me thinking.
This time, I wrote on my blog about my desire to put anger, rage, and judgment aside, as I did the last time, which did a lot of good.
The Army of Good is one of the best things that has happened in my life. The amount of good we have done rather than joining the din is humbling and breathtaking. Maria and I do not choose to be angry, enraged, or fearful; we don’t want our lives to be like that. We don’t want our lives on the farm, our blogs, or our other work to be stained that way.
In my mind, rage is the enemy of creativity. It’s not where I want my head (or my flowers or blog) to be.
The angry and vengeful people have inspired me not to be like them, and no politician will compromise me or turn me to rage, contempt, or fear. It isn’t who I wish to be; I don’t look to outsiders to set my agenda.
I have a lot of friends who voted for Mr. Trump, and they are neither stupid nor bigoted fools. I’m determined to process that thoughtfully rather than succumb to it.
I told Caroline her comments touched me and reinforced my notion of her as a kind and peaceful soul. We understand one another, and there is no trouble between us. She is correct about one thing: rage is unhealthy for me. And I have worked hard to get healthier.
Donald Trump is both distasteful and remarkable; his anger and grievance always stand out, as does his determination. I don’t wish to be him or be like him; I can’t think of a single time that anger or grievance did anything more to me than to seriously damage my life, peace of mind, and creativity.
I know many of his followers and feel pain for them. If they haven’t already, they will soon realize the cost of anger and grievance. It’s a short joy, a bittersweet pill.
Perhaps that makes me one of those mysterious “woke” people, but it also gives me hope, peace of mind, and a passion for doing good for others, something that makes me feel so much better than being in a rage.
The Food Pantry where I am volunteering has never asked the people who come to it seeking help what their politics are or who they voted for. Neither have I. I don’t care; they need help.
In my mind, rage is dehumanizing, and Mr. Trump and many of his followers will have to discover it on their own. It’s a disease in my mind, and it corrodes the spirit.
Rage is a way of disconnecting from millions of people and consciously or unconsciously contributing to the awful divisions in America. How can I talk with someone I hate?
I don’t believe the issues between us are about bigotry or intelligence. I can’t get away with that; neither should the people who consider themselves progressives.
It’s a lot more complicated, and I listen rather than hate, fighting when needed.
I have a right to be happy, and so does Maria. I have a life to live, no matter who is resident, and no Democrat or Republican or Man In the Moon will dictate my life for me.
In my life, I can’t name nearly a single thing that rage or hatred has accomplished for the benefit of humanity.
As I’ve written, pain is inevitable in human life. Rage, like suffering, is a choice. Fear can warn, but it is often just a space to cross.
As a long-time prisoner of rage and grievance, I understand my friend, Caroline; I hope we can continue this conversation.
I hope she will recover her true nature and continue with the sound and kindness she has shown. Her messages tell me she doesn’t care more about rage than I do.
Discourse is certainly easier between two people who respect each other, but it is no doubt even more important between two who have opposing views which is why I spent a great deal of time last year listening to what “the other side” had to say. Perhaps I didn’t listen hard enough because I don’t remember hearing a single good idea. All I heard was vile rhetoric and lies. (Yes, I am sure both sides tell lies but I think there was a significant imbalance) As for “charm”…we’ll have to agree to differ on THAT! I hope never to meet anyone as obnoxious and disrespectful. Anyway, that aside: While I am enraged by what is unfolding, my own values and principles have not changed. Where I can, I will always help if I am able, though my resources are running painfully low. I distract myself by caring for animals and by enjoying Nature. I build castles out of ice for the sheer enjoyment of creating. I will never allow ANYONE to change who I am. I allowed it when I was young and impressionable and I will not permit it to happen again. However, I see terrible injustice unfolding and while everyone seems to believe that the Constitution will protect people, I am afraid that while we cower behind it, HE will run roughshod over it because he CAN. No one has prevented him for doing as he pleases, ever. He simply does not care. Freedoms are being taken away. People are being threatened to snitch on each other. I hear the sound of hobnail boots and yes, it alarms the hell out of me because unless nice people stand up and say STOP, it will be too late. American went to save Germany but who will save America? This is my fear and my rage. I do NOT hate anyone. Not even him, though I hate what he stands for. He is the product of bad parenting and is a pathetic human being, just as Hitler was, but such people are very dangerous. My frustration is that there is nothing I can do to prevent the suffering to come. I just don’t want to be asked in years to come how I was part of a people who let it happen.
Maybe this is just the human condition, to go through these awful periods of good/evil. It is what has always happened historically. In my innocence, as a young woman, I thought that after two world wars, my generation would find a better way, the right way, but how sadly we have failed.
Beautiful
Thank you, Carolyn. You expressed my views and feelings perfectly
If your prophies are true, Carolyn, I doubt anyone will ask you where you were. There’ll be no one left to do it.You seem strong and passionate and clear to me. I am not as pessimistic as you are, but your comments are welcome, as are Nan’s.
Words of wisdom, thank you!
what a wonderful post, Jon. Yes, rage is a choice…..and it is unhealthy. On the rare occaision that I delve a bit *deeper* in reading online news, I begin to feel it creeping into me……and I stop it. It’s not that I am denying our new *reality*……..but it is choosing to focus on things I can do something about…… and to be positive and healthy in things I *can* do to be that way.
Susan M
I enjoyed your post John, and I agree with every word Carolyn says. Last night before bed I watched “The View.” There was a young man on the program who explained the situation of one of the police officers who was seriously injured on January 6th. He was beaten badly, almost shot with his own weapon and then stunned gunned in the neck until he suffered a heart attack by a rioter who was just released from prison by Trump. The officer had to obtain legal papers to keep this criminal from hurting his family and himself. Trump continues to be Trump. I watch little news these days, because I’m afraid I also hear the heavy steps of hobnail boots.
Thank you Carolyn
I am an old woman retired from the Navy. I share your anger and can’t understand the support Trump receives. I couldn’t be friends with someone who supported such a person. Cruelty is the point of everything he does.
Jon I have great respect for all the good you do.
I just disagree that people who support the cruelty are really good people
Recalls a book, The Politics of Rage, a strategy used by a certain tricky president (who had to resign in the early 1970s) in the South, manipulating a particularly isolated, narrow, hateful subculture.
Yes thank you Jon we all have a right to be happy, to lose that tightness in our chest, and smile from the beauty around us, at what our ancestors built and fought for – – freedom and justice (what the Constitution says!) – – for ourselves and neighbors over and over again. Maybe we just have to test its strength periodically to find out where it cracks. Like little boys building a structure of blocks just to find some joy or itch in knocking it down
My response to current events is puzzlement. I just don’t understand people, and how they act and think. One of the central things I can’t fathom is how someone can behave atrociously for their whole life and receive no consequences. I’m reading “Lucky Loser” by Buettner and Craig, and the current president evidently began at a very early age to act the way he still does, and he always got away with everything. I’ve listened to him speak, and also don’t understand where the idea that he has “charisma” comes from. As for rage, whether ginned up by political screamers or at the results those same screamers deliver, I mostly don’t understand that either. Someone leaves their home, probably experiences hardships to travel here, and works at jobs I would never want (or be able) to do — how am I supposed to be angry about that?
More and more I just feel out of place, as if I’m supposed to understand a population of nasty primates I’m expected to study. They’re a lot more twisted than I can fathom, though. I’m going to start studying quantum physics or string theory or something; those subjects seem a lot easier to grasp.
I’m going in the other direction to say I’m thrilled to see what president Trump has done in his first week in office. Common sense is coming back to America. We need a businessman to get us on track again.
I’m curious to know how you feel about the release of people who beat policemen. And about the idea of doing away with FEMA?
I’m torn between the need to be informed and the need to protect my serenity. Any news of trump or his goons fills me with rage. Yet I know this is damaging to my soul so I retreat inside myself. I don’t want to surrender to the hate but I cannot let this monster destroy me. I am trying to figure out how to transcend this. I am 71 and want to spend my final years in peace. It’s a challenge for sure.
In response to NAN, that we need a business man with common sense to be in charge. That certainly doesn’t describe Donald Trump! He couldn’t even keep his own businesses out of bankruptcy. Even a Casino went bankrupt. How does that even happen? doesn’t the House always win? every one that I have ever been in, did…
and as far as common sense goes, He says he will attack Allied Nations to take over Greenland, Panama and Canada. not my idea of common sense…He will do whatever Putin wants him to do…He is a useful idiot for our adversaries… Just look at who is in charge of the Pentagon now….He is setting us up for disaster and WW!!!.
GO CAROLYN! I’m with you.
Rob thanks, I just want to make it clear that divergent opinions are welcome here, but I don’t permit cross-arguing or comment. Just feel free to say what you want and let others say what they wish. I’m not accepting arguments here. We each can have our say, there are a lot of other sites where you can argue, I don’t want it here beyond personal expression.