Some of you who read about my volunteer work at the Mansion might remember Jane (Norma Jane)For the past 10 years, I have volunteered at the Mansion in many different ways. Working at the Mansion was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life, and it opened me to the idea of living the rest of my life trying to do good for people with nowhere else to go (Jesus’s suggestion).When I met Jane more than two years ago, she was in the Memory Care Unit. One of the aides told me I had to come and see the art she was creating every morning of her life. I admit to falling in love with Jane, who loved me right back.We hardly spoke in words, but I made it a point to go to the unit and see the art. The aides who alerted me are gone now, but it was beautiful to see how they saved all of her art and bragged about it to everyone they could find. We even put up an art show in the hallways.When I think of Jane, I always think of her sparkling smile. She may have lost some memory, but the spirit was very much alive.
Although Jane – a nurse for four decades and a loving mother – and I never said a single sentence to each other, we talked all the time. She had the sweetest smile and a thoughtful way of listening. She painted every morning.
When I saw her, she hugged me and showed me her art. Her family, as loving as she was, was astonished at her artistry—she had never had the time to explore that. When she painted, and I was there, she often held one of my hands while she worked. I think she got a kick out of me.
When she saw me, I always got a smile and a hug. She loved Zinnia, who knew to lie down at her feet and get scratched and rubbed. They bonded.
The mansion was sold a year ago, and it became clear I no longer fit in. I have no regrets; I loved every minute of my time there. Life is all about change and letting do. I am very grateful to the good people in the Army Of Good who made this work possible.
The aides and administrators I worked closely with are gone, and I have yet to see or speak with any new owners. The Activity Directors who guided and alerted me to needy people are no longer there.
It’s a different place. The Food Pantry asked me to help them, and sadly and with great regret, I moved much of my focus there with the Army of Good. We are doing a lot of good.
As is evident, I love this new work and the people who also volunteer there. It broke my heart to leave the Mansion and the people I had come to know and love, but I’m a big boy, and I look ahead, not back. Pain is inevitable; suffering is a choice.
I couldn’t be happier doing what I’m doing. I still get a call from the Mansion occasionally and drop off sneakers, underwear, pants, shirts, books, or toothpaste.
My meditation class mainly broke, the Memory Care unit changed, and the Activities director who supported my class and my work left. America can be a rough place at times.
At the mansion, I learned to love many people. Working there, I got used to the idea that the people I came to know and loved would likely be moved or die. This was the hard part of volunteering there; one day, I’d read to a resident or buy her new shoes, and the next day, his or her room would be empty.
I knew Jane had disappeared—one day, she was gone—but I heard nothing until I got this lovely message from her daughter Janie, whom I sometimes saw at the Mansion.
I edited much of her message, but I wanted to share the rest with you because many of you loved following Jane and often wrote about her.
I learned not to cry when my Mansion friends left, disappeared, or died, but I had no trouble crying when I realized Jane was gone. I did not expect to hear anything about her, but her daughter is as gracious and loving as she is.
From Janie:
“Mom had a bad fall on July 8th of this year, and we spent 9 days in the hospital.
A family decision was made to enter hospice care at my sister’s home, and it was a blessing.
She was at home and trusted us with her care.
She enjoyed feeding the birds and basking in the sunshine while still enjoying it.
She passed with us holding her on October 6th @ 1:36 pm.
Alzheimer’s Disease robbed our family of 17 years from start to finish, and while we are heartened to know she’s in heaven, it hurts us not to have her here to talk to.
Your compassion for Mom was pure love, and we thank you for accepting her and reigniting her love for art and peace through meditation.
I’m attaching mom’s obituary.
God bless you, and keep the faith.”
Bless you, too, Janie; Jane was full of love and kindness, and talent as well. She was very lucky to have a family like yours making sure her passing was comfortable and full of love. I love looking at the photos I took of her art. So she isn’t gone from me.
oh my, I’m sorry to hear of Jane’s passing, Jon. I know how much she was loved….. and how much the time spent with her made both of you happy. This news brought a few tears here as well., she seemed so gentle…..and yes a talented artist. May her soul rest in peace.
Susan M
Thanks, she was pretty special, and I do miss her…
Ahhhhh… Thank you for loving Jane… and sharing her story and the kind daughter’s thoughtful message.
My mantra: Every act of kindness matters… for the good of all.
💗
Jon,
One of the greatest gift that your blog, and especially your work at the Mansion has given your readers is the ability, the necessity, of seeing those residents as individuals. It is so hard for people to be confronted by impairments and see more than the illness. Many thanks for that.
As for the loss and the grief I always consider my tears for a treasured client a way to honor their humanity.
Thank you
Oh my, Jane was a very interesting person who walked thru my life thru your writings. Thank you so much for letting us share your lifes journey ❤️
I’m so sorry to read of Jane’s passing. I always loved your posts on interacting with Jane at the Mansion. Change is inevitable, but sure can be sad sometimes.
Jane was such a sweet soul. I would go down to see her and get my hugs. I miss her smile and her hugs.
What a timely post this is…I have been missing your posts from the Mansion and assumed the “landscape” had changed…thanks for confirming that.