I’ve learned in recent years that love makes me happy. I came to see that the problem with the suffering people who sent hateful notes online is that they seem humorless to me, devoid of love or empathy.
Once I realized this, I stopped answering them and trying to talk to them or be hurt by them. I just deleted them, and they have all gone away. There were lots of lessons for me in that.
The tendency to run away from suffering is intense, but that was just another form of suffering, I came to realize. Imagine doing that all day?
The Internet has made hatred easier, more open and possible. But it has also opened my eyes to many things, including the idea that they are suffering, too.
(Zip is in the middle of everything we do. He has assimilated and acclimated; it seems he’s been there for years.)
I am happy, and that is because I am learning to love the things in my life – Maria, my writing, my photography, the dogs and Zip, the donkeys and sheep, my farm, and my efforts to do good. Think about it: can people who write nasty messages to strangers be happy?
I don’t think so. The prophets say that compassion always makes people happy on both ends, giving and receiving, and so does making other people’s lives a little bit better. I looked at the news this morning and saw some angry politicians insulting one another.
Happiness is a choice; I just had to learn to work at it a bit.
Can there be any joy in that? From the looks on their faces, it seems unlikely. Can they be happy? It seems silly to say it, but hatred doesn’t make people happy. They suffer. It seems obvious, but it is one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in a long time. I depend on fixed points—Maria, Zinnia, Zip, and nature—to keep me content in a spinning world. My photography has opened my eyes to life—and flowers, too—especially lately, flowers and the gift of Spring.
Spring comes on suddenly here; the pasture looks lush and beautiful.
I bought a Hydrangea flower today at the Cambridge Flower Shop. Sue Lamberti is up to her neck in orders for proms and weddings. This florist shop is really catching on. Good for her; it’s much deserved.
Zinnia is a happy creature; she does not change, get depressed, watch the news, or listen to politicians. There is much to learn.
My poppies are popping in my garden bed. Here we go.
Jon, I love the idea of fixed points. I’ve never thought about how that could be a source of contentment. I have several fixed points too and when I think about them, they have created a feeling of being grounded and safe. I never knew how much safety meant to me until I had some counseling. I found out I had all sorts of coping mechanisms to try and feel safe, and some of them backfired in that they kept me apart from others. Fixed points have helped me to allow myself to take the risks of loving others, and allow them to love me. Instead of walls I have boundaries, big difference there. Thanks for your thoughtful words that inspire me.
Good to hear, Karla; fixed points have grounded me again and again. Let me know how it goes.
Jon,
Good Morning. You are truly blessed!
Mickey
Beautiful, smart wife, two Portuguese Water Dogs, and Athena the Cat