Alfreda’s friend threw her a beautiful birthday party on Sunday; we were invited. It was on a beautiful hill in a lovely house with a gracious host and six warm, accomplished women with interesting lives.
It was a particular time, and Maria felt the same. It isn’t always like that, I have to confess.
I’ve long believed social gatherings are often warmer and more comfortable when men are not around.
Alfreda’s birthday party helped affirm this for me: women seem to know how to talk and listen better than most men I know.
This gathering was especially comfortable; I enjoyed it very much, and so did Alfreda. As I left, I thought that this was in part because I was the only man in the room.
It’s a strange thing for a man to say, and yes, I am a man, but I can’t help but think it’s the truth.
I have found that women are often easier when men are not in the room. Perhaps I am speaking only for myself. I know what it feels like to be uneasy around men; I always have been. My father taught me that, I suppose.
Alfreda is easy to love.
She is warm, funny, loving, and brave. She works as hard as anyone I know.
She was very special to us, and the people gathered to celebrate her birthday; the house has a breathtakingly beautiful view, lunch was great, and conversation was easy.
People who love Alfreda are most often the people I come to like a lot.
She is a great and precious friend. And she poses like a champ, moving into the light and lighting up with a great smile.
The We Love Alfreda Society is an impressive group of people. It was a privilege to sit next to Alfreda and watch her beam for an hour or two. She was humbled and pleased by the attention, almost shy; I’m not sure she has had too many birthday parties.
On Tuesday, Maria and I are taking her out to dinner to celebrate.
We always have a good time with Alfreda. She is honest, and she has a huge, loving heart and a wonderful sense of humor. She’s quite comfortable smacking me around.
She often needs her sense of humor, but not today. She was very happy at the party, and so were we.
She calls me “Mr. Jon,” a title I love even though I always respond quickly: “No, you are the Big Boss.”
oh….. you know how I love to see Alfreda….and these photos do not disappoint! I’m so glad you felt comfortable (and so did everyone else, seemingly) to have you…..a man…..there to join in the celebratory gathering. Happy Birthday to dear Alfreda…..one of the beautiful *portrait* people you love! And also love that she calls you Mr. Jon. Culturally….it is a very respectful and normal way (for her, and for many) to refer to someone they respect and admire. I’m smiling!
Susan M
It was a lovely celebration, thanks Susan
Jon, I think women are comfortable around you because you’re not a toxic male. So many men feel that they have to be in charge, or tough, right, or smarter than women, or feel that women are here only to serve them. So no, we don’t want them around as it’s too hard for us to feel safe enough to be ourselves. I’ve watched strong and capable women turn submissive and fawning around their demanding husbands. Ugh. And then I remember, I’ve done (and can do) the same thing when around my husband, and we do it to keep the damn peace. Sigh. Great song going around on the internet about this, by Paris Paloma called Labor.
I am very eager to be a better man, thanks.
I’m glad all had a great time. I just wanted to comment that Maria has such a beautiful smile. It just lights her up!
She is radiant, I think..she thinks she has an ugly smile, believe it or not..
My mom’s name was Alfreda. Don’t think I have ever heard of any others with the name. Never heard of the We live Alfreda group
It’s not a real group just a name them yesterday