Note: I have good news for the kind and caring friends who saw me confuse Bud and Zip’s names and decided my brain had gone dead.

I’m giving both animals new names: Zud And Bip. Perhaps they will be able to tell them apart.

(Above, Bip, below Zud.)

I don’t want you good people worrying about me and my health. Several of you kind souls were good enough to diagnose me without even laying eyes on me once or charging a dime and deciding that my errors were a clear sign of Dementia. It would be best if you got on with your lives.

One of you even suggested I get to a doctor immediately and get my head examined, something people have been telling me to do for years. How thoughtful.

I also want to know who I am and how I got here. I am trying to remember. The last thing I recall is chasing a border collie through a street in New Jersey. And who is writing this blog, anyway?

I don’t want friends worrying about me, so to help you find meaningful lives, you seem to have very little to do. Since you seem alarmed, I’ll call Zip Dud and Bud Bip. Or did I already say that?

God bless you for assuring me that I have Dementia; I know you were looking out for me. Sorry, but I’ve forgotten your names already, and I’d like to thank you personally. You probably know me well to tell me that.

I wonder if Bud is one of the sheep and Zip is one of the dogs. There are all kinds of animals running around here. I’m confused.

Perhaps you can also help me with this: Who was that astonishing woman who recently prowled the farm looking for worms having sex and found some? I am trying to remember her name. She seems to think she lives here.

She had a refreshing way about her. I wonder if she would like to have sex with me. She was cute, and I think she likes me. She calls me all kinds of names.