8 March

The Yay Jon Band Strikes. Morning Journal. Zip Is Moving In, I ‘m Moving To The Barn

by Jon Katz

The animal rights people e-mailing me (the Yay Jon Band and I) have quieted down for now. I told them of our decision to let Zip into the house on warm and cold nights.

It was a difficult decision, but the animal rights people have been so thoughtful, empathetic, and understanding about Zip that we met yesterday and made some decisions.

(In the above photo, Zip is getting the news about moving in.)

We will abandon the furniture in the living room and confine the dogs to the basement. Maria will sleep in her studios with Fate, and Zip will have the living room and the kitchen all to himself.

I know there are some mice and occasionally a rat running around there. According to the animal rights people, this would be the most humane thing to do. He may or may not be happy, but he will be as warm as a piece of whole-grain bread in the toaster.

Unfortunately, to make room for the very active Zip, Maria has decided that I need to move out of the house and sleep in Zip’s heated cat house. I can also use the rocking chair and extra blankets we put out there for Zip. He’ll have the wood stoves to keep warm.

She feels terrible about it, and so do I, but apart from missing her, the barn and the heated cat house will be comfortable places for me, better than an assisted care facility or nursing home. And in some ways, it’s better than our bedroom.

Maria says she can visit me twice or thrice daily to tie my shoes, ensure I’m fed and comfortable, and take my medicine. If it gets below zero, I can always crawl into the warm and cozy space Zip has made between some hay bales.

Going to the bathroom should be easy there is urine and fecal matter all around.

Maria says she’ll come and sleep with me on cold nights; the heated barn house can be expanded. Sadly, humans don’t grow fur in the winter like Zip; all animals do. I will need some sweaters and some canned food. I can even blog out there if I bring a computer and a plug.

We are grateful to the animal rights people for their kindness and compassion.  They taught me a lot about honesty and empathy. It’s a tough decision, but Zip comes first, and we were persuaded to rethink our rigid position.

I am annoyed that Zip will get my favorite reading and sitting chair. The Yay Jon Band will approve, I am sure. They have been hoping for me to be nicer.

Fair is fair; just is just. I am told it is cruel for outdoor cats to live outdoors, so I am responding.

I do not consider myself abused or harmed by getting kicked out of my house. It’s noble of me, and I am eager for the people of animal rights to approve of me at long last. I need their approval for what I do.

I know this doesn’t mean I am not scum, as was suggested. But I am trying to be more caring like they are.

Life is all about change and being loved. Kindness brings kindness, and mean draws mean. Thanks for sticking with Zip and me through this difficult time. Maria is okay with it. It’s not what he seems to want, but no one cares about that.

Zip will get used to it.

22 Comments

  1. That seems really ridiculous.
    He’s a cat not a person. He has different needs than we do and you’re tuned into them.
    AND you love him, obviously.

    1. There won’t be a response, Marye, there never is, they aren’t into humor, irony or laughing..

  2. This puts the icing on the cake. Love it! Oh, and don’t forget to leave a nightcap for Zip. A little bourbon in his water dish will help keep him warm. I’m still laughing!

  3. What an exceptional piece of satire!! Of course I am wondering if those people who criticize you will even understand your post and that it’s directed at them!

  4. I married my husband John five years ago- he had a Brittany and a Maine Coon Cat, Hudson was an outdoor cat who had survived 10 years of life outside even on the coldest nights. He brought me all kinds of treasures like mice, snakes, moles, birds, frogs and once a baby bunny that we managed to save. We grew fond of each other and I started to let Hudson spend more time inside on winter or rainy nights. Now at 15 he rarely kills anything that we know of. I wholeheartedly support you decision to leave Zip outside and let him do his job. He’s a beauty and is obviously delighted to be an outdoor barn cat!

  5. You better start learning to catch mice Jon, wouldn’t want the Barn to get taken over by the little squeakers!
    Killing them with kindness ( and I am not talking about the mice now)

  6. LOL!!! Yay Jon! The only thing is I don’t think Maria should sleep in her studio – or even have a studio – since she doesn’t have a PhD in art! She should move into the barn with you! HaHaHaHa! Love you guys!

  7. You got me on Para 1, what what, but Para 2 brought clarity!
    Ha I do enjoy your sardonic side, seldom displayed but sometimes let free in your books. Your persecutors sound awful but I’m sure are permanently set in their self-righteous superiority. Anyway I don’t know if you indulge in April the First frolics in the US but this was fun, thanks Mr Katz, it lightens my day to read about you and Maria and your good-people world. Sorry about the bad bits though.

    1. As you can see, I’m having fun bringing out the dark, sarcastic side of me…when we stop laughing, we will be dying.

  8. Surely your sheep can fit in the kitchen and your donkeys….maybe the dining room? What’s good for one cat must be good for all the rest of your animals, right?
    What is with these people?

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