I’m not a Buddhist, I don’t practice Judaism, I am not a Muslim, I’m not a Christian, I still go to Quaker Meetings when I can, but I love reading the works and thoughts of people in all these faiths.
Rigid dogma always holds me up, but to me, some of the best and most potent and helpful thinking I’ve ever read comes from prophets and scholars in those faiths. I get to pick and choose without being told what to do.
That’s one great hallmark of spiritual writing.
Lately, I’ve been reading some of the works of the Buddhist scholar and monk Thich Nhat Hanh and the writings of Christian and spiritual writer Joan Chitisster.
As people who read my blog become increasingly anxious about politics, culture wars, and political campaigns, I’ve decided to share some of the things I’m learning in the hope that they are as helpful to you as they are to me.
Below is Hanh’s essay from his book Your True Home: The Everyday Wisdom of Thich Nhat Hanh.
More than any other spiritual writer, Hanh has helped me to deal with my fear and anxiety. People like me tend to hide their fear, deny it, and talk myself out of it. What about accepting it and sitting with it until it weakens and disappears?
I learned instead to panic from specific triggers. I don’t do that anymore not often.
Here is an essay and idea that has worked very well for me. Hanh has a soft way of presenting big ideas. I hope this helps you as much as it has helped me. We’re in for an anxious year.
__________
Sit with your Fear…
“The Buddha advises us not to try to run away from our fear but to bring it up and look deeply into it. Most of us try to cover up our fear. Most of us fear looking directly at our fear instead of trying to distract ourselves from it or ignore it; the Buddha proposed that we bring the seed of fear up, recognize that it’s there, and embrace it with our mindfulness.
Sitting with your fear, instead of trying to push it away or bury it, can transform it. This is true of all of your worries, both small ones and big ones. You don’t have to try to fight or overcome your fear. Over time, you’ll find that it will be slightly weaker when your fear comes up again.”
______________
This idea of the Buddha and Hanh’s writing about it surprised me. It was so simple, but it made so much sense.
I’ve always found my fear embarrassing and intractable. I always fought it, denied it, and argued with it. I was only successful once I took up this idea and decided to accept fear and sit with it.
It took me a while in meditation and contemplation to step back and figure out where the fear was coming from.
As often happens with men, fear was considered a sign of weakness in my household – not manly like John Wayne – and I didn’t want people working with me or for me to think I was afraid.
But I was, almost all of the time. My anxiety was so intense I chose to leave the corporate world and write alone on my blog and for myself.
It was difficult for me to understand that my fear was almost always neurotic rather than absolute. It often had little relation to the things that were frightening me. Much of it was real, but much wasn’t.
If somebody points a gun at me, I will know my fear is justified.
But the truth for me was that my fear comes from an old and traumatic place. I grew up incorporating this fear into my very being.
It will always be with me but in a different way. I need to live with this fear; I will always have it, but I can put it aside and understand the reason for it now.
This requires me to detach myself a bit and step back. Acceptance has helped – this is who I am and who I will die being – but I can control my fear and put it in its place.
And I can understand it. That is, in itself, healing.
I can control my fear and put it in its place rather than permit me. Through what Hanh calls “mindful thinking.”
According to the Mayo Clinic, mindfulness is a type of meditation in which you focus on being intensely aware of what you’re sensing and feeling in the moment without interpretation or judgment.
Practicing mindfulness involves breathing methods, guided imagery, and other practices to relax the body and mind and help reduce stress.
Mindful thinking has helped me accept the seriousness and fear that is coming out of our political system. It does sometimes frighten me.
But I think about my issues of vulnerability and dangers and can accept the concern and anxiety but not let it dominate my life.
No political candidate will get to control me or my mind. Fear and trouble are a part of life, and the challenge for me is to accept that and understand how it fits into my past and life.
Whatever happens in November, we will be alive to live our lives and be responsible for them. We can do even more good.
I’ve learned that doing good erases or eliminates my anxiety.
Doing good heals and is grounding and repels fear and anxiety.
I recommend it; this idea gave birth to the Army Of Good, one of my best ideas that will comfort, inspire, and turn my fear into a whisper.
Here’s an interesting juxtaposition: you abandoned the corporate world because of fear, and I embraced it for the same reason. I find my job embarrassingly easy, and they hand me these wads of money for doing it. I tried running my own business, but for me THAT was a very fearful thing. You wrote a lot of books and published them; I’ve never gotten up the nerve to contact a publisher about anything I’ve written. Isn’t it strange how individual fears can be. It’s like we’re born with these empty slots for “likes” and “fears” and whatnot, and we fill them almost randomly.
My son, Terry, died by suicide 13 years ago. I was drowning and overwhelmed by the grief until I began this same practice. What I learned was that pushing away the anguish, despair and sorrow only made it hold on more tightly. One I was able to slow down, face it, name and acknowledge it and ultimately (and this was the hardest part) realize it wasn’t an enemy but a wound I needed to soothe and embrace. I learned to love my grief because it was my response to my son’s death. This changed everything. I too, spread the word of mindfulness and meditation as a way to peace.
Thanks Barbara, for that beautiful memory, I appreciate it..
That sky is amazing!
Thanks, I rushed out of bed to take that photo..it was worth it..
Jon, as so many of your posts do, this one got into my heart, and made me feel some feels. Feeling all the feelings and having healthy responses to them – that is one goal of my counselor’s work with me. Burying or ignoring my fears only made them more powerful. At times, they would (and still can) burst out of their taped-up boxes in inappropriate ways; I left a path of wreckage in my attempts to go around my fears and would hurt others before they could hurt me. Our minds and spirits, when we intentionally use them, are powerful forces, but we must be taught how to use them. Most of us only know what we learned about fear as children, and haven’t moved beyond that. In recovery land, we are taught that fear is “false evidence appearing real”, and one way to transform it is by helping another person. The fear really does dissolve when we reach out to another person. I think it works because it helps to eliminate our feelings of helplessness.