I wanted to share a revelation I’ve had about dealing with fear and panic. My anxiety was once so severe I was diagnosed as being mentally ill when I was younger. Most of my panic has gone away, but in the morning and sometimes throughout the day, I still feel anxious in the extreme.

I always thought that I should deal with my anxiety through my brain and my head. I thought I could out think it. I never thought I could out feel it. But I can.  I’ve learned something new and vital. I have learned that I can control my anxiety through the body, not the brain.

When I am fearful, I no longer try to think it through. I try to feel it, not debate or dismiss it. I tend to run away from suffering. It isn’t brilliant, I realized, to not accept what it means to be a human and then an older human. We fear ill health and death; all of us do.

Fear and denial stunt my growth and my happiness. Love and joy are not possible if I don’t understand my grief and anxiety and other people’s suffering. I’ve done that work and am ready for the next step.

I find that deep breath assaults anxiety from the other side, from within. It surprises me, but when I take a deep breath in and then a deeper breath out, it somehow – I don’t exactly know how –  I feel it working.

For example, after my brain bleed and concussion a couple of months ago, I was frightened and worried that I had permanently damaged my brain and my ability to stand up easily or write frequently.

I thought about it and decided to try something new. Sickness is a universal phenomenon, not something unique to me or deserving of self-pity.  Accepting life has been profound for me; I am  not shocked when I end up sick or in a hospital (or when a dog dies.) Thich Nhat Hanh wrote that I should think as I breathed, “Breathing in, I know I am of the nature to have ill health. Breathing out, I know I can’t escape having ill health.”

This is called “deep breathing,” it works this way: I breathe in deeply to the count of 7 or out, then wait a couple of seconds and breathe out to an even longer count if I can. My internal organs shift, my heart quiet, my body speaking back to me.

I feel calmer and safer and right away. It’s a simple exercise to try in a quiet and secure place. Deep breathing involves the heart and the soul, my stomach and my legs. But it surprised me; this is not something I had ever thought of or wanted to try. But it has changed my relationship with fear and the importance of my body as well as my mind. I know now that I can’t depend on others – politics, campaigns, labels, and others – for my happiness. I have to go inside and work that way.

Breathing in and out with these thoughts, I was shocked to feel that the anxiety was going away. I was instead accepting life and permitting my body to absorb my acceptance rather than fear, anger, or self-pity. I can channel my brother through what the spiritualists call mindful breathing.

Mindful breathing is paying attention to the sensation of the breath coming in and out of the body. This means noticing the breath, how and where you feel it in the body without trying to change it. Mindful breathing is a deep breathing exercise. Deep breathing uses big breaths and controls the length.

Since  Deep breathing uses big breaths and controls the length, I often fall asleep or reach a state of relaxation while in meditation.

I’ve been doing this Deep breathing for a couple of weeks now. It works. Instead of working around my body,  I’m working with it; I’m asking for help and getting some. I’ll keep sharing the results, and thanks for messaging me about my work to ease and control anxiety, now an integral part of life in America.