In the past few weeks, I’ve read a lot from several spiritual authors about breathing mindfully as a way of staying grounds, and understanding that my body can be of great help in my work to recruit my  body in my struggle to be calmer, fearless, gentler and happy.

It’s intriguing. I think it is working for me, so I want to share the idea. But I’m just a beginner, and more humble by the day. There is just so much I don’t know, I can’t imagine trying to tell other people how to live. I don’t know nearly enough about me or about life.

Mindfulness is not a new idea from me, but it’s a new idea for me. It keeps grabbing my attention, and when I try it, I feel it is helpful, in more ways than one. I’ve made some real progress trying it.

The idea for me is to take my mind back to my breath and if I continue, to my own body and hope to reconcile with it, my breath and my body and my spirit are not often in the same place.

I did not grasp what the body can tell me about my life and myself. I’m appreciating the exeriment and the education.

When I pay attention to my breath, and where it goes, and how it effects me, I get to understand what is going on in my body, which is where my soul and heart live.  I see the wrongs I h ave done, the mistakes I have made, the fear that has so long crippled me, the conflicts I’ve been having.

When I do this I find that I’m learning what to do and what not to do in order to communicate with my body and be on good terms with it. Because my body is never still and never happy when I am angry or arguing or fearful. It’s a curious idea to me, but simply enough to try and see for myself what happens. My anxiety is melting away slowly.

“With mindful breathing,” writes Thich Nhat Hanh, “we come to recognize our body as our home.” The mindful part is Hanh’s recommendation:

“Breathing in, I am aware of my body.

Breathing out, I am aware of my body.”

I’m working to not look outside of myself for comfort, but inside. When I don’t understand that I am afraid, I suffer fear. It is entirely possible, I believe, to live happily and die peacefully. It has been proven possible to me to help others die peacefully, if I have the elements of groundless inside of me and an abscence of fear. I believe now that I have the capacity to be mindful, to focus, understanding and compassionate.

That was not really possible for me just a year or so ago.

I don’t need other people – monks,  rabbis, priests, friends – to be mindful. It’s free and I can do it anywhere, and by myself.

I am more things than understanding and compassion, some of them angry and fearful. I can’t take refuge in a kind of God that exists outside of me. I need to find the confidence and strength to practice my idea of love and  understanding.

It might take the rest of my life for me to accomplish this, if I get there at all. But in the meantime I’m beginning to grasp the power of my own self, my soul, my breathing, and this idea of mindfulness – paying attention to life. It’s working for me.

Recently, the idea of Guided Meditation Imagery was brought to my attention. I tried it and it was a beautiful experience. You can try one here.