When I realized that I was suddenly too old to be hired by any of the people who had employed me in my life, it seemed that just as excited it was when I arrived at the “top,” I was just as dramatically dismissed, or so I thought, from being relevant in the world. This happens to many older people if they are not prepared or willful.

Getting old, I notice, can beat the stuffing out of people, or, if you look closely, it can bring them back to life. You don’t really have to die to stop living.

I began to see the world differently when my time came.

Walking in the hills, holding the hand of my wonderful wife and my loyal and loving dogs beside me, I suddenly saw time and life as something to be treasured, to be explored, to be enjoyed, something that could make me happy.

An evening watching the sunset with my lover was suddenly worth all the big paychecks I had gotten for years and all the power and influence I had received.

Other people began to look differently to me. I no longer had rivals or goals beyond my life; my seething ambition melted away, and my jealousy and envy with it. My energy was turning to other things, good and real things.

With that went many of the assumptions and absolutes in my life.

I no longer thought of telling others what to do because I suddenly had no idea what others should do; I was busy working things out for myself the challenge of being older and loving another.

If I’m dogmatic about anything now, it’s having meaning and love in my love, writing my story, taking my photos, being a worthy partner and father, and doing good in every small way I could stumble across.

The older I got, the better  I got; I became a better listener, friend, citizen volunteer, and do-gooder. I was coming back to life.

I also see life in a new way. I thought of life for years as an auto race or sporting title competition. I had to run, race, and sweat to stay on top and keep up with all of the other driven men and women who were taught to believe life was all about getting to the top and fending off those who might want to replace me. The power in my life was always in the hands of other people. Suddenly, I was the boss.

I lived a loveless life for many years and in many ways. I learned as I grew older that if I opened myself to love, it would find me. And it did, in the least likely place I ever imagined it would be with a person I barely knew.

 

Friends? Almost.

 

Today, I understand that life is about having less but doing more, about re-imagining need.

My life is something to value for its own sake, not pursuing other people’s dreams of success or political power. Those people will break their hearts or have them broken.

It’s about knowing when I have enough and don’t need more. I no longer believe that the tragedy of life is dying, but that so many never get the chance to live, that even just having enough is not enough to live in safety and with comfort for billions of people.

People see me differently now, also. Many people dismiss older people as no longer having much value or things to contribute. But people see me as a person, not a boss, competitor, or threat. I know I’m odd, and I understand I make some people nervous. People like me better than they used to; how odd.

I find that I respect and appreciate myself now; because of that, more and more people respect and appreciate me.

It is lovely to be 76 and still be learning. How can I give up on life? I just got accepted to the best school – life itself.

I’m learning the basic things about life.

Getting older has not taken my life from me. It’s given me my life back.