I launched my blog in 2007 as a radical experiment – I wanted to write another memoir online, away from publisher’s marketing restrictions, and to open a new chapter in my lie and chronicle. I was breaking down at the time, and the blog turned out to be healing and urgent. It was my emotional 911, and still is.

And I’m living with a blogger who is bringing wonderful thought, creativity and beauty to her own blog. How fortunate for me. We get each other.

I loved writing on my blog from the first day and love it still.  It is the right medium for me.

Somewhere between 2007 and now, the blog became something else – a community of people, many of whom have become friends. We are truly getting to know one another.

The blog is now the focal point of my creative life, more flexible, diverse, and innovative than most of my books. The blog is a teacher, a mother, a friend, a mentor, and a scold as well. It simply reveals me and does not tolerate lies or posturing.

We live in a culture that does not allow mistakes for public people. Politicians have to be perfect, and since they are human, they must lie at times to survive.

The blog is different; it requires me to become myself and to be out in the open. Lying doesn’t work.

Regular readers know that I am sometimes good and sometimes not. They understand that this is what being a human being is all about. We stumble and fall; we get up and try again. Mistakes are not lies, and truth still matters.

I learned early on that if the blog was to succeed, I had to be authentic.

As promised, you get the good Jon and the bad one, but both are real. I am conducting my annual assessment of the blog, how it looks, how it can be improved, and how it should be left alone. I got many responses, which I am grateful for (I asked for them.) I’m going through them carefully and thoughtfully.

Your verdict so far is mostly the same: the blog is good; leave it alone. Makes me proud. I believe that to be successful, you just have to stick to it. I’m sticking to it.

One message from Donna Hester this morning stood out for me. I almost cried.

She spoke from my heart and captured precisely what I wanted to be. Her message meant a lot to me, and I thank Donna for grasping exactly what I am hoping to do and who I am.

Donna’s message:

“Jon, you asked for suggestions. Here’s mine. I love it just the way it is. It’s a letter from a friend. It’s simple and uncomplicated. It’s thought-provoking. It’s the sincere words of a man working towards being a better human being, mostly succeeding and occasionally slipping. The pics give a clue to the spirit of the farm, of warmth and kindness, of the sanctuary for those who dwell there. Everything it needs is already there.”  – Donna Hester.

The response was thoughtful and stimulating. Many suggest I try to sell my books here or at a link to them. I’m afraid I can’t do that. I can’t be two or three different things at once. I’m either a book writer or a blog writer. Publishing and I have gotten a divorce, and it’s final.

When I say the blog is my book, I mean it. I’m never going back.

I’m sorry, but I’m done with book publishing, and book publishing is done with me.

I’ve chosen the latter; I need to be free and myself. I couldn’t do that in publishing; too many people told me what I needed to do to sell many books. And I wasn’t making enough money for Random House.

It was making me crazy. I’m still crazy but happier. I needed to be free and figure myself out; now, other people told me I should be.

I love the idea of the blog as a sanctuary. As the country struggles, the blog seems to shine as a safe, exciting, changing place. How curious. How great.

I’ve worked hard on the blog. I wrote just about every day, and usually more than once. My photography and desire for a creative and open life have opened up a whole new path for me. As much or more than my writing, the pictures tell the story of my life and the life of the farm.

I was taken aback by the cruelty and rudeness of social media; billionaires are distorting and ruining much of it, but my little corner of social media is alive and well. I’m home; I’m not going anywhere or doing more for the sake of it.

I think Donna is right, and I thank her for that beautiful message.

The blog looks good, runs well, and continuously reflects my efforts to improve it and me.

It isn’t about one thing, but many things. It’s the story of a life, warts and all. Of animals, nature, love, and my search for spirituality.

I never pretend to be close to perfect. I’m just learning how to be me and how to do some good.

Thanks for understanding that, Donna, I agree. If possible, I’m exploring adding color to the design and will look at and share some mock-ups.

But for the first time in 15 years, I don’t see the need for much change either, just some cosmetic brushing. At long last, the blog is where I want it to be.

Instead of challenging and arguing with the haters, I’m learning to walk away and do my thing. I have never been happier, and I credit the blog and my patient readers with much of that. And I will never give up trying to be better.

I know now that this process never ends, and I’m sticking with it.

Thanks so much for your ideas; I will read them carefully. And thanks for sticking with me all this time. I intend to make it worth your while.

___

Note that Maria took the beautiful photo of the full moon last night; I call it “Maria’s Moon.”