I will never understand why so many people devote their lives to hate, cruelty, domination, and grievance when they could be sitting on our hill watching Fate and Socks sit with one another in the back pasture. Beauty is everywhere, yet so many choose darkness and rage. I can’t imagine sharing conspiracy series, lies, and cruel messages with strangers when there is so much beauty and richness in the world.

I’ve been guilty of anger and even cruelty at times, but it never feels good or does good, and slowly but surely, I’m letting go of both. It’s not who I want to be; deep down, it isn’t who I am. When we find our true selves, we sometimes find the good and bad. But then, at least, we can face up to it.

What is it inside of us that makes us turn to war and prejudice? I think it is like a poison to hate and hurt. It harms the sender just as much as the receiver. Turning away from it is a joy; it leaves me free to do the things I love and want to do.

We are fed hatred and grievance like chocolate every day; I suspect that sooner or later, we absorb it into our consciousness. Getting rid of it takes a lot of time and energy.

Compassion and gratitude feel suitable for those who have never tried it. Something in the human structure – maybe God messed up here – turns people to the dark side of hatred,  regret, and judgment. I understand that people are angry and suspicious. I don’t understand why they wish to stay that way. I am proud to mind my business and never tell others what to think, write, or do.

Social media has made me strong. It has also brought me much love and support. I think of the latter today.

Thanks for the beautiful messages of love and kindness that Maria and I received yesterday and today.

And thanks for some strange ones; I’m mentioning two today, and I’m grateful now that I didn’t respond to them. And I give thanks for them as well.

 

One message insisted that I did not purchase lobster tails but some other kind of fish. I didn’t tell him to blow it out of his ass (I spent a lot of money for those lobster tails, and I can assure you they are real), and I just deleted him.

I got another message from a woman upset that I did not include my daughter Emma and granddaughter Robin in my list of things to be grateful for. I was pleased with myself by my response.

I did not tell her to mind her own business, as I have often done; I just moved the message to the trash, a miraculous tool for sanity.

Why did it take me so long? It gives me great joy to ignore peckerheads and trolls. It’s like watching those sci-fi movies where the monsters get evaporated by magical tools.

This is a big deal for me, something else to give thanks for.

I am getting healthy and growing up, and on this day, I give thanks for that. I have a way to go, but barring a surprise, I think I’ll make it.

We can’t insulate ourselves from anger and cruelty but can control how we respond. That is grace.

It took me a long time to figure this out, and I am almost there. The delete option is my friend and tutor.

Why pay attention to intrusive or hateful messages when I can pay attention to nice and thoughtful ones? Why not, indeed? Because pieces of me are broken, I am working hard to fix them.

I might sometimes do the wrong thing, but I know it now, and that makes a difference.

Carrots for the donkeys. We marched out with all kinds of healthy goodies; we got a hot reception.

Discarded vegetables for the sheep.

 

Zip is hanging out with the donkeys; they seem to like each other. He sashays through the pasture as if he owned it. Maybe he does.

 

Lulu was pleased with her carrots. We thanked them for being with us and loving us and the other animals.