As the Rat Czar of Bedlam Farm, I’m happy to report it’s been two days since a rat was sighted anywhere in our house, the traps are all poised with peanuts but are empty, and traps have been placed all around the basement and bathroom where the rats were seen and killed. I’m putting my rat suppression traps, tools, and poisons away and out of sight.
I’m glad we never used rat poison; the rat traps did the job.
It seems this was a moderate infestation; a few rats came exploring the wrong place at the wrong time.
Yesterday, I wrote about taking pleasure in killing the rats who had invaded our farmhouse. I understood this was not a politically correct or sensitive position, especially coming from someone who writes about animals and fights for the rights of spiders and snakes. It may reflect my dark and angry side that flares up occasionally, and I expected some unpleasant feedback.
This is America in 2023, and everything anyone says is controversial, even killing giant fat rats who run over your feet in broad daylight. We are devolving into a culture of absolutes – left, right, blue, red – with less and less in the middle. We are living in a black-and-white world. I am not perfect or even close. But I will always speak my mind. And some people will always dislike it.
This is modern-day America, and no opinion or belief can go unchallenged.
Ginger said I was a “heartless monster” for killing rats whose only crime was looking for food to feed their families. She runs a rat rescue facility in Canada.
A good friend, an animal lover I know and respect, was also unhappy:
“I understand why you can’t have them around, but I can’t rejoice in your new role, in your taking pleasure from killing another creature that didn’t ask to be born a rat. I’m sure that rat didn’t run over your foot to offend you. It’s just my view. Mice ate my car and trapped them because we have to. Then he puts the corpses out for the birds.”
My friend is right. I’m sure the rats never asked to be born, although they are doing well all over the country, breeding and eating everywhere.
There are many worse things than being a rat, including being a human in many places on the earth. And nobody asked the rats to come into my house either. I kill them because I have to. I enjoy it because I am heartless.
But I take her point; I can’t argue with it. Rats are blameless. I wish I were as empathetic as my friend.
Chad is one of those online people who gets mean in order to protest meanness. I have been called every name under the sun since I started my blog; many are deserving. Chad thinks my position illustrates my “ostensible” but false effort to present myself as a decent and civilized human being.
“For all your apparent attempt to be a decent, civilized human being, ” wrote Chad, “your true mean self is deep and surfaces perhaps less often than before your conversion. Not snarky. Mean.”
Chad may be correct, but I don’t recall describing myself that way. Isn’t snarky the same as mean? And yes, I’ve written a dozen times about my anger and meanless flaring up. We can improve ourselves, but we can never change who we are at the core, and I wouldn’t want to if I could. Why, I wonder, is Chad reading the work of such a creepy person?
I know my true self is often mean. I am not a saint and have no desire to be one. I am all too human. I asked Chad if he thought being mean and civilized was possible. He didn’t answer, and I’m sure he won’t.
I’m sorry I felt no pain or empathy for the rats or pretended I did. I wish I could be better, but I’m afraid Chad, no stranger to snarkiness, is correct, as was my friend.
The rats are, in fact, blameless for being rats. And I can be mean.
But although I can be snarky, I hate to lie. I was happy to kill the rats who got into our bathroom and hope that doing so would drive the others away. I’m keeping my rat-killing tools on hand, just in case. And I will continue trying to be a better human- no promises, though. I’m learning to like who I am. The Rat Czar is free to return to civilian life.
Thanks for showing the name of the traps. It saved me from emailing you. I have GIANT rats in my feed room down by the barn. As big as a man’s size 12 shoe. I will get a couple of these. Keep up the good works Jon.
Not their fault, but when rats invade human living space, rats must be killed. I’ve danced in triumph over dead rats and have no shame about that.
Loved your comments about the rat defenders. Did Donald Trump ask to be born a Donald Trump. I think l would prefer to be born a rat and end up in your trap.
I am an animal lover. However, rats and mice can carry disease and cause damage. The only animal that I ever shot was a rat that was under my bird feeders. My vet told me that if you see one rat, you will soon have 50 rats. Mice can also be quite destructive, chewing wires and getting into the walls of the house. We had to replace our heat pump after mice got into it, chewed the wires and built a nest. They also have got to go! It is foolish to be sentimental about rats and mice in the house. However, they should be disposed of as quickly and humanely as possible. I thought of using poison, but then read that it gets into the food chain and kills the other animals that may prey on them before the mice/rats die.
Hi Jon, you mentioned you also had poisons for the rats. PLEASE do not use poisons for the sake of your animals as well as wildlife. It is my understanding the rodent poisons of today are nerve agents and if your dogs or cats eat the dead rodents, and ingest enough of the poison, there is no longer an antidote. Poisons do not kill instantly, and the rodent will go elsewhere to die with the possibility of being consumed by other animals. Old formulas contained warfarin, an anticoagulant that made it possible to treat a pet usually with Vitamin K to start for a length of time. Today’s poisons have no antidote for pets or wildlife. Stick with the traps, they work fine.
Mariannna, I never disclose the tools we use like this, it spurs a flow of messages I don’t need or want to receive..we did not use any kind of poison, we h ave other animals in the house..
May I be the 2052nd person to ask you which of your handi-wizards you’ve put in charge of plugging your foundation against rats. I’d love to know how they do it in your part of the country.
I didn’t plug the foundation, we just used the rat traps with peanut butter and put steel wool on one hole..
Thanks, Jon.
I think you should get a book about rats that tells about them and their families, etc. Perhaps the late Harvard professor E. O. Wilson might have written about them.
Oh, I am laughing at your objectors. The rat-killing soiree was a delight for me!!! I hate them meeces to peeces! I guess I’m just a mean, heartless person, too.