Monday morning, I’ll undergo more and more unexpected surgery to reconstruct my left foot and keep me walking.
My new brace has been a success beyond our expectations. But the foot rebuilding isn’t quite finished and may never be, as I learned today.
In June, the big toe on that foot was amputated. Shortly afterward, surgery was performed to remove a tendon in the foot (flex surgery) and keep it from curling under. The surgery has worked wonderfully on my second foot.
Yesterday, we noticed that the third toe on the foot was also pressing against the brace (flattened feed) and was forming yet another dangerous callous, just like the one that got infected and almost lost my foot altogether. I might need to have this surgery done on the remaining toes.
The surgery is not especially painful and doesn’t take long. I trust my podiatric surgeon, Dr. Pamela Daly, and her fantastic staff.
We called Dr. Daly’s office this morning, told them what was happening, and they told me to come in immediately.
We arrived at 11:45, and Dr. Daly looked at my foot and said we needed to perform the same flex surgery quickly before the toe could get infected and left to see another patient. She doesn’t waste much time or beat around the bush. Anyone one of the toes on this foot could trigger an infection.
We did well to spot this problem in advance and get it taken care of quickly.
Before she left, she said it was likely that the remaining toes would need the same surgery, but she added I have proven to be a “first-rate healer,”and the result should be successful and well within reach.
My toe will be wrapped in a bandage stuffed with antibiotic ointment for a week. Then, the stitches will be removed.
(Hen in the Lilac Tree)
I was startled; I’d been preoccupied with my brain and back injury and thinking the foot trouble was all behind me for now. But I also know the foot will need monitoring and some work in the coming years. Feet that collapse don’t quite ever relax.
And I am very fortunate to be able to treat it in this way.
I was anxious at first, then grateful. This problem, like the others, can also be fixed. I have good insurance and a terrific doctor available to me day and night, and she responds quickly to trouble, as she did today. I’ve seen a lot of podiatrists in my life; this one has really taken over the treatment and made my footwork.
Admittedly, the nurses were pleased to see me because I bought three bags of chocolate chip Amish cookies, their favorite kind. Maria and I have been there too many times to count. But we were happy to see one another. Oddly enough, we have a lot of fun. We never lose our ability to laugh at life.
On the way home, we stopped for lunch at a favorite coffee shop in Schuylerville.
Maria asked if I was upset, and I said no; I am eager to get through Monday and hopefully continue to help my heal from the kitchen collapse. I’m supposed to rest still, and I don’t have much choice after Monday.
It has been a wild ride, but not nearly as rough as many people experience. I learn from every procedure every time. To age gracefully, it is essential to accept life’s true nature, respect the losses, and appreciate the gains, which are many for me. I’m learning not to think of health issues as ending abruptly. They never really do. I need to accept that.
What Maria said was valid for both of us. In the past few weeks, she has shown herself to be more robust, resourceful, loving, creative, and patient. She has also learned to find time to continue her beautiful work.
This is showing her what she is really like. She is very strong.
My grandmother would call Maria a “mensch,” the highest compliment she could pay a human being.
A mensch, in Yiddish, is a person of integrity, morality, and dignity, with a sense of what is right and responsible. But mensch is more than just an old Yiddish adage. It is relevant now, across the world, more than ever… To be a mensch is to be supportive, friendly, and calm in troubled times.
That was precisely what Maria was and is these past few days and will be in the days ahead of us. If I trust Dr. Daly, I trust Maria a hundred times more. She defines the very idea of the mensch, something I very much want to be and have worked to be.
A mensch is the opposite of the immoral and dishonest trolls and amoral people taking over our politics and civil life and threatening our freedom. I am blessed to love a mensch and be loved by one. I love my mensch. I think my grandmother would even overlook the fact that Maria isn’t Jewish.
Before this, Maria woke up every morning anxious about being able to do all the work she needed to do in her art and on the farm. She was always picking on herself, never doing enough, never doing it right. She is learning who she is with the help of my aging body and our powerful marriage.
Now, she wakes up calm, focused, and very happy. This has all brought us even closer together.
I learned that my getting older will not diminish her love for me or our love for one another. My medical changes will continue until death; there will be ups and downs and joy and meaning in between. I accept all of them.
This Spring and Fall, we spent much time going back and forth to hospitals and healing at home. Next week, I’ll return to the surgical boot for a week, no showering, walking much, etc.
I am committed to taking good care of myself, and every medical experience gives me more inspiration and information.
My heart remains strong, my blood sugar is healthier than it has been for years, and I’ve lost 10 pounds, not by dieting, but by learning to understand what food is healthy for me and interacts well with my medication. I believe I have a lot of life to lead, but however much time I have, I will make it count.
The lesson of the past few weeks has been to keep on learning, keep on loving, keep on writing, take pictures, keep on helping the refugee children and the Mansion residents, and keep on loving my wife, my farm, and my life.
I am growing, listening, and changing. It’s exciting. These past few weeks have been challenging for me and in several new ways. Like Maria, I am learning to see my strengths and values and moving closer and closer to the fullness of life.
She’s right. The last few weeks have been good to us.