I’m getting a lot of messages about Minnie, and I understand that my animals don’t only belong to Maria and me; they belong to the many people who have been following her up and down life for 16 years. They have a right to understand how she is dying.
Minnie is very close to death; she has crawled under the front porch in the big garden, where we expect she will die shortly. We check on and talk to her, but otherwise, we will leave her alone now to die in her way.
We have discussed whether or not we should take her to the vet and end her suffering if she is feeling much. She doesn’t move much anymore or eat or drink water.
Minnie was always a verbal animal, and when I sit down next to her or Maria does, she does give us a soft or gentle meow. It is hard to hear it now.
We have talked about euthanizing her. But we decided against it. She is a barn cat, and barn cats have their way of dying. They become frail and weak and go to a private place to die in peace and dignity. They are not interested in food or attention.
It is not a kindness for them to die on a strange floor with an IV in their legs.
Several people have written to tell me they are sad about Minnie, and some have shed some tears over here. They have known of her for a long time. I am grateful for their concern; I understand it.
I strongly feel about death, mainly when it affects animals I know and love. Maria also has her ways of dealing with it.
I love barn cats; they are proud and independent, they never lose their dignity or fully submit to humans, as most dogs will.
I do not feel sorry for myself. Her death is not my death, my life, my dying. I have no right to take it from her or make it mine. We will all die, and she will at least get to do it however she wants to. We’re not going to make her do it in our way.
She had a good life, the life she wanted, every single day.
I can only give thanks for having Minnie; she was a symbol and fixture of our life here; I saw her every day and will feel her absence.
In my quiet moments, I might even cry about it, as I have privately done with some of our other animals when they did. That seems like a very private thing for me, not something for Facebook or even for my blog.
I credit Maria with showing Minnie that she can be loved and that we can be trusted. I think only Maria could have done that. Minnie had a sweet and very comfortable life. We are talking about getting another feral barn cat.
The barn cats have their death rituals, and I have mine.
I accept death, it is something we will all share, and none of us can stop, no matter how long the doctors and hospitals keep us alive. I don’t want that for me, and I don’t want it for Minnie.
Neither does Maria. As always, we are together on this. There is no space between us.
Thanks for caring about Minnie.
My last two dogs died at home on their own terms, they were comfortable. One of the hardest things to deal with for me is getting the third degree. You’ve been generous with your responses. It’s a challenging decision making process and it’s not easy. You guys will do right by Minnie like you’ve always done. Thinking about you 💕
I totally support, understand, and comfort you in your decision here. Having had 2 barn cats both live long and loved lives …..and letting them go on their own terms…..was not easy (for us) but it seemed such a fitting way to let them exit the world on their own terms……..which is how they lived their lives. The door is open Minnie……….. you’ll find it!
Susan M
Thanks Susan, you’re the best…
Our family adopted a stray who was basically what is called a ‘feral’ nowadays. Her name was Smoky, and she was an outdoor cat, never came in, even in the winter. She hung out in the hay mow in the winter, and we fed her cat food and leftover people food scraps. She had several litters but the tom cat got them all – except for the last litter she had. My Dad saved one kitten, and we named him Dusty. Fast forward to the end. I grew up with him, and when he was 18, he slowed down. A LOT. One night I had to carry him downstairs to his doll bed in the basement where he had slept most of his life. The next morning, he wasn’t at the door, rattling it for his breakfast like normal. I went downstairs and there he was, curled up like in the deep sleep he had drifted off to, then onto the last journey across the rainbow bridge…I cried hard and ugly for my friend. I had had a hunch I wasn’t going to see him again the night before, when I gently put him in the crib. Yes, his mother died her own way, and so did Dusty, and I respect your decision for Minnie…
As Minnie is a barn cat and was a feral cat, I can imagine the trauma of taking by vehicle to the hospital and have strangers put an IV in for her to be humanely euthanized. I am sure if you felt she was in serious distress, it might be different. but it is the cycle of life and she is dying the way she wants..and how lots of cats do..it isn’t sad for her, it is a normal part of life..humans put their emotions onto animals which unfortunately then clouds their judgements..
I believe in letting animals choose how they wish to die if possible – and I do believe they are able to do so. I’m grateful none of my cats were suffering in a way that I might have needed to face that decision. (Although our family dog was assisted in dying because of the terrible pain she was suffering, with my father by her side).
My last cat that died chose to be as close as possible to me and died peacefully in my arms, looking directly into my eyes. What a level of trust and love between us.
More often they have chosen to find a place to be alone.
You and Maria are so comassionate in how you care for your animals, in life and death, in my opinion.
My coon hound Jack lived 20 years. He died in the living room floor & I buried him in a box in the back yard. He by no means suffered it was just his time. I will never get over losing him. Been maybe 5 years now. Losing a best friend is a terrible blow. Jack was the best. Beyond description.
I am so glad that you are allowing Minnie to die with dignity in her own way. You probably won’t remember that 13 years ago all my friends wanted me to not adopt Daisy because they thought would be too much for me, you praised me for not giving in. On June 30th, after many months of her being not terribly well, I had to make the decision to let her go. I sat at home with her waiting to go to the vet and begged her to just close her eyes and let go but she didn’t. Thankfully our vet was extraordinarily sensitive, gave Daisy a sedative and left us alone for a while for me to tell her that I loved her and then we let her quietly slip away with the final injection that she was completely unaware of. I will not have another dog at 78 I feel it would be unfair as my walking is not so good now. So God speed Minnie, she will definitely rest in peace.
Thank you for saying that Minnie belongs to your readers, too. Although I never got to hold her or stroke her soft fur, I have seen her life unfold. I remember when she lost a leg and got to live in the basement in winter. The relationship between Minnie and the chickens has amazed me. I wish for her a peaceful and pain free death at home. To everything there is a season…I am happy to read that you are talking about getting another barn cat (when the time is right).
Forgive me for disagreeing, Jon. I think Minne and all animals do not actually belong to anyone. We are their guardians. I am sure I’ve seen you write the same way in the past. It’s semantics, anyway. From what you say Minnie seems not in distress so I agree with you that you should let her do it her own way, in peace not in distress about sterile and scary surroundings of a vet hospital. Gd bless, Minnie and God speed. I have enjoyed following your story.
You don’t need to ask for forgiveness when you disagree, Carolyn. I don’t mind at all. I appreciate your civility and courtesy. It is semantics, and I have nothing to say about it…Thanks for the good words.
As a longtime guardian of cats,, feral and otherwise, I’ve learned that they do not show distress and pain…it’s in their DNA like big cats in the wild that try to avoid predators. They’re stoic and don’t understand human concepts like dignity, etc. If she is dying from kidney failure for example, which takes most cats, she is toxic and in significant pain and nausea, but showing little.
We’re in a rural area and our vet, an old school country vet, will go to the farm or home where the cat is more comfortable and help a it to its next journey. Obviously all your call and I respect it completely, not trying to tell you what to do—just offering up longtime experience with cats and an option out of love to you and Maria, as I know how much you adore Minnie.
Thanks Ranea, for your message. We live in a rural area also, and we have a vet we love also and speak to often and we have longtime experience with feral and barn cats as well. We know Minnie as well as we know ourselves. I appreciate your love and concern. It never hurts to hear about other people’s experiences.
One part of the covenant we have with you when you share your life with us is that it is YOUR life. We all have different ways of caring for our animals and priorities in deciding what we should do for them. I’ve been blessed to be a part of your life vicariously for decades and have always experienced you as a person who is much more conscious of what your animal is experiencing than many of us even try to be. Thank you for your loving stewardship over all the critters you have taken into your care. They are blessed to have you.