Learning is all about being uncertain and admitting that I don’t know much about anything. When I am sure I do know, I stumble, fail, and often make a fool out of myself.

Values are different for me. They grow but never change. Values are who I am.  Ideas are who I wish to be.

There is no way for me to find out what I genuinely think about anything until I keep silent and alone long enough to understand what’s happening inside me.

And when that doesn’t work, I get help. I cherish the very idea of help as an idea – strong and intelligent people always get help. Weak and damaged people can’t.

I am also learning to respect values; that may be one of my best ideas.

Good ideas come hard and at a significant cost – they are painful and difficult to find. Dark ideas are free and cheap. People often fear values and resent them. I have often struggled to respect the values of people I disagree with.

Since I think out in the open, there is always conflict, and I struggle to find the idea that best suits and resolves that reality.

I’m getting closer, but I’m not there. I sometimes think I will never get there.

Help helps, at least for me.  That was a big idea I had very early in my life.

Being mentally ill was a gift to me in many ways, one of the most important being that I started to get help 50 years ago and still get help and will need some until I die.

And help has saved me again and again.

Uncertainty is nothing to be ashamed of; it has always made me wiser, more robust, happier, more honest, and more fulfilled.

We are taught almost from birth to never admit mistakes.

There is no value in that.

Tragically for the country, our leaders and many of their followers can no longer say they don’t know or concede someone else might.

Know-it-alls breed division and argument, Know-it-all in politics have abandoned the idea that they exist to serve all of people, sleep or woke.

Their new idea – divide and attack – is a sour idea that will bring nothing but sourness in return.

This idea of uncertainty has made me know myself better than anyone knows me. People often tell me what I think and should think, but how could they possibly know such a private thing?

The Chinese were the ones who said – some unknown philosopher – that to be uncertain is to be uncomfortable but to be sure is ridiculous. This is how I came to understand that know-it-alls – the ones who know what everyone else should do – are the ridiculous ones.

As one who has often been ridiculous, I can sense certainty from a long way off.

Joan Chittister, a spiritual writer and thinker I admire greatly, wrote in one of her books that “if we do not see ideas as the voice Of God in us, how can we ever hope to know more of God in this world – and ourselves?”

As a Jew turned Quaker turned uncertain, authenticity and self-awareness have become what I worship. I guess, in a way, uncertainty is my God.

There is no spiritual gain in closing off ideas in the name of rightness, goodness, conquest, or tradition.

I believe the secret of a rich and happy – not perfect – life is to fill my head and my soul with the kinds of ideas that make me more, not less, human, like doing good to feel good.

I would make a dreadful President or Democrat or Republican.

Since I’m unsure of my ideas and reject labels, I don’t know enough to hate many people, even when they disgust, trouble, or annoy me.

I can’t really think of anyone I hate.

To me, a certain mind – a blue or red mind – is a closed mind, and closed minds are the death of ideas and understanding.  

If I want to change the way of my world I have known for a long time, I need to change the way I think about it.

In my uncertainty, big ideas emerge. The opinions I bring to life are what I get out of life in return.  I am only as good as they our.

Sour and angry thoughts bring bad and angry times for me.

I am often proud to say I don’t know