“Jon, I’m thinking of you and your beautiful flower photos and have a hopeful suggestion. The Lang company, which makes art calendars in Waukesha, WI, has a contact page where you can submit artwork. It may be something interesting to look into. With your published reputation and ability to combine words and photos, I think you would create a beautiful calendar.
Warm wishes to you and Maria. I do so enjoy your blog. Nancy…”

I thank you, Nancy, that is a beautiful letter.

But I want to explain why I can’t accept your kind and thoughtful suggestion. I owe you and others that explanation.

On March 20, the United Nations Sustainable Development Solutions Network released its annual World Happiness Report, which rates well-being in countries worldwide. Finland was ranked at the top for the sixth year in a row,  reported the New York Times.

The secret to happiness said the report: knowing when you have enough.

Something Americans are never, ever taught.

This is a lesson I am learning, and it has changed my life.

My blog feeds on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and other social media sites, so many people who come across it see it for the first time every day.

That’s where most of the trolls came from. And those messages tell me how a lot of Americans think about success.

They see the pictures, like them, and instantly push me to do more. Enough is never enough.

I think this is one reason I am getting so many messages now urging me to sell my flower pictures to book publishers, calendar makers, and T-shirt manufacturers and partner with animal and other rescue and non-profit sites to sell the photos differently.

This has surprised me. I’m also getting suggestions like this from regular readers like Nancy above.

I realize I need to explain my resistance to these ideas – or, to put it more clearly – my refusal to always want more than I have. I’ve tried that. It nearly wrecked my life. For me, happiness comes from the very opposite direction.

Perhaps it’s a spiritual idea. I don’t trivialize the horror of being poor, but sometimes less is more. Or enough is really enough?

There are things for me to be learned from Finland. I’ve already learned some.

(My Raven muse has moved to my garden bed for the summer.)

There are several reasons why the people of that country are so much happier than Americans  – income equality, a functioning government, and excellent and accessible health care.

But one of the primary reasons was that Finns, unlike Americans, are taught to be content with what they have and avoid the pressure we have in our country always to want more, do more, and get richer.

There is never a ceiling on what is enough. Billionaires want to be richer billionaires; they never seem satisfied, even when they have more money than they could possibly spend.

I made a lot of money as a best-selling book author but was never happy.

I make less money than ever now, and I have never been happier.

One of the many reasons – Maria, my farm, my blog, my flowers – is that I have learned to be satisfied with what I have. I am enough. I have enough. I want a simpler life.

My life has all that I need or want.

I don’t wish to be in the T-shirt business, see my photos in a calendar, or sell my flowers to a book publisher—none of those are things I do in my life or wish to do.

All those things bring distraction, loss of focus, anxiety, negotiations, tax, and financial issues – and an acceptance of the idea that whatever I am doing well, I should be doing more.

That’s just another way to bring stress into my life. I’ve spent years learning how not to be afraid.

It takes a lot of hard work, learning, preparation, and focus on getting flowers, raising them, caring for them, and photographing them in beautiful and different ways that make many people happy, including me.

Why can’t this just be enough?

A number of people have written me to tell me my posts (and my flowers) should be published in the New York Times. But they can’t say why. If the New York Times wanted to publish articles like the ones I write or publish flower photos,  they would hire people to do it – there’s no mystery to them.

I have no interest in asking the New  York Times to publish my work, waiting for their scrutiny and acceptance, telling me what I need to change or take out (I absolutely do not write in the style of the New York Times) and then bracing for hate mail, unwanted comments, and pompous criticisms (I get enough of those already) that come from writing in a place like that.

The New York Times is a big corporation now, with an enormous bureaucracy—just the opposite of me.

There are no typos there. I don’t want to be them. I get chills when I think of their editors telling me what I am permitted to write about, how much I need to chop out of it, and the self-righteous readers whining about my being nasty or complaining about my typos.

For the first time in my life, and thanks to the blog, nobody can tell me what to write or say. It’s all on me.

I read and respect the New York Times – my first job in journalism was there – but I have no reason to think they would be the least bit interested in my thoughts and observations from the farm.

And why should they? I am not interested in being them.

These ideas of doing more would change my life and throw it out of balance after I’ve worked so hard for decades to find it – work, love, nature, animals, photography, blog, and authenticity.

Wouldn’t any of these new and added endeavors detract from my job at the Mansion or with the refugee children?

Fundraising is never easy, and doing good is never simple. I don’t want to be distracted from the good work I have worked hard for years to build and do with the Army Of Good.

I’m in a good place. I used to be crazy; I gave it up. I’m not going back. I value what I have; it is too precious to put a tag on.

I don’t need longer work days, negotiations with marketers, complicated tax returns, bookkeepers and accounts to answer to, or picky and grumpy customers to take issue with a picture they don’t like or wouldn’t photograph my way.

Now, I’m free to ignore or tell them to piss off. It makes me very happy to be free in that way. It is fulfilling, as many people have learned to their disapproval.

I have little enough time alone with Maria now. I don’t want less. I’m 75; I want to use my remaining time well and thoughtfully. I am not selling T-shirts.

Would I like to have more money? Sure, there are a lot of things I’d like to do with more money. But being happy and at peace is more precious to me. Having love in my life is far more valuable.

Why isn’t it enough?

And why do the Finnish know this while people in the United States are increasingly stressed and unhappy daily?

We forget how just to live. We are losing our ability to have enough.

It’s curious that whenever I put up a bunch of flower pictures, people offer me new ways of doing more with them –  calenders, table books, T-shirts, postcards, magnets, syndication, TV series, more prominent media outlets, and magazines. Sometimes I have to wonder if I’m doing enough.

The messages I like are those that thank me and tell me how gorgeous the photos are or how much they mean to the people seeing them.

Several people in hospice have written me to say they want to die with my flower photos on the wall. I make sure they get the jpegs to print out.

Others are meditating with them. Some of the pictures – a lot, I think –  are going up as computer wallpaper; others print them out, frame them, and hang them on their walls.

One couple tells me they change their computer display to show a different one of my pictures every day.

That’s enough for me. So are many smiles and a sweet lift, however fleeting.

That’s why I take the photos, and that’s why I love them.

The second I started worrying about which one would be this month’s T-shirt or monthly calendar, my whole attitude toward these flowers would change.

They would just become work; I’d soon worry more about whether they would sell than whether I think they are beautiful and original.

I am grateful to Nancy for the beautiful message she sent me; that is the response I hope for. The photos mean a lot to her, and her idea is flattering.

But Nancy, the thing is, your feelings are enough.

That’s all I want from my flower photos, and it is a lot more precious than a cut of the T-shirt or calendar sales. Your letters are just what I want to see and hear.

I don’t want to be a gift shop or an Amazon product. I don’t want to catch the American disease – nothing is good enough;  we always want more.

Happiness for me is living the entire and meaningful life I want. It’s enough. It’s more than enough.