I call it the Great Gamble, and thanks to several people, it paid off. Today, Dr. Daly examined my foot and lifted all of the restrictions I have been under on and off for nearly three years and during and after a whole bunch of surgeries, and many ups and downs,  including the amputation of my toy and a toe infection that came perilously close to taking my foot, and a surgical boot that made walking painful and sometimes crippling.

As of today, I can wear regular shoes (with the brace), walk when I wish (taking it easy for a few more weeks), shower every way, and take Zinnia for a stroll when and where I want to, and stand up without assistance.

I’m getting a new brace in a few weeks, and that will take some acclimation and adjustment. I don’t have to see  Dr. Daly for a month.  I confess that I will miss her and her skilled, loving, and supportive nurses.

As always, I brought some fudge and Amish cookies.

It feels like a crucial and life-changing victory. I can’t even convey how excited I am to be able to walk freely again. Zinnia will also be happy. Maria and I are thrilled.

We celebrated on the way home. And then, we celebrated by gardening together, which was a wonderful way to go it. We might go out for dinner tonight, or we might order a special Shift pizza.  We work so beautifully alongside one another, we talk to each other with our love and our lives.

Maria stopped to buy me two flowers (above), and I bought her a giant fat chocolate chip cookie, which she loves. We got home and immediately went to work on our gardens. Working in sync, we transferred a whole bunch of flowers (perennials) to her garden from mine, and she dug giant holes in the front lawn to plant some of hers that were getting too big.

We were kept company by a bunch of newborn swallow babies who sat on the old basketball rim and watched us fascinated until her anxious mother showed up, dive-bombed us, and made them fly away.

 

(Photo by Maria Wulf) Our audience when gardening.

It was a beautiful way to mark the day, working side by side; we were both so happy. This could not have happened without Dr. Daly, Maria, and my willingness to take a big and dangerous shot at fixing my poor left foot, which collapsed some years ago, wreaking havoc on my legs,  back, ability to walk, and eventually to heal. Dr. Daly was brilliant, steadfast, and fabulous every day.

This was a long haul, loaded with ups and downs. And it worked out. My foot and all the wounds we got for fixing it are healthy. It is fully healed.

More than a year ago, my left big toe, pushed too far to the right by my collapsed foot, began to get deep callouses which caused ulcerated wood that could not heal because the foot kept creating thick callouses that kept the ulcers open or agitated. This was an almost surefire path to infection, which could easily have led to amputation.

I always thought callouses were something my grandmother had. It turns out they can be very dangerous.

This crisis had nothing to do with diabetes; the foot was seriously and structurally damaged.

Dr. Daly called the shots, and Maria closely watched my bandages and anti-biotic lotions (she did all of the bandaging, which went on for a couple of years). I had to make some tough decisions.

I amputated the toe; it was too risky to keep waiting for an almost inevitable infection.

It was my idea to get a brace (and now, another one), and my blunder for waiting nearly too long to get to the hospital when the second toe got visibly infected. That landed me in a five-day visit to Saratoga Hospital and all day and night IV injections of powerful anti-biotics, which will take my innards weeks to get over.

(My very amazing Willa Cather wife, Prairie Tough. Our way of celebrating.)

It was one of the more frightening experiences of my life. Losing my foot would have upended our lives, although we would have gotten through it. But I did learn a lesson that will stick with me for life.

Maria says I am walking better than she has seen me walk in years, and I found myself walking back and forth all day, free at least to go where I want when I want. I missed that. She was with me every step of the way,  and I  remain in awe of that kind of love and commitment. I must be a much nicer guy than I thought to deserve such a thing.

This has been one of the most challenging periods of my life, and today, I felt as if a giant fog had cleared, a deep weight taken off of me. We had no idea this gamble would turn out; it could have quickly worsened things. Sitting with Dr. Daly today, I looked down proudly and happily at my toeless foot. It looked great. It and I are ready to go.

I loved that it felt like a group experience – all good people working hard to help me out. It felt like the best of health care to me, I wish it was available to everyone.

It was the right thing to do, and I feel nothing fortunate for the chance to do it. I am a lot healthier in June than I was in April.

Maria and I are both worn out and a bit in shock; no more bandaids, lotions, or daily worry and uncertainty. Every time we thought things were better, they weren’t. It got to a roller coaster ride that lasted a very long time.

My doctor’s stuff isn’t over today.

This afternoon, I have to return to Saratoga to meet with a periodontist to decide whether or not to agree to a $4,000 implant to replace a tooth removed last year because of a gum infection. I’m concerned about spending this much money to replace a non-essential tooth. I need to know a good medical reason for doing this, not a cosmetic one. The tooth loss is causing me some discomfort, but it doesn’t affect my chewing.

I hope to have an honest talk with the doctor.

I’m still pondering a required registration form online that took 45 minutes.

As I grow older, I am becoming more and more of an advocate for the aging, who seem to have few advocates. The length and detail of the form irked me. Usually, I’d talk to a human, and we’d figure those things out in a couple of minutes. I miss being pushed away from human contact, and fight it when I can.

I know it’s a losing battle, but it’s worth the fight.

I will ask the doctor if he wants his grandmother or grandfather to take on a form that wants to know every detail of my life, including my driver’s license number and four or five hundred diseases, for a 30-minute consultation.

If he has a good and compelling argument for me to have this implant, I will, of course, do it. I’m having good luck with doctors this year.