Our topic in class at the Mansion today was a joy. I began the class by reading a quote from the philosopher Seneca: “As for old age, embrace and live it. It abounds with pleasure if you know how to use it.”

I’m dedicating this blog post today to two of the remarkable women in my class –  Jane (above) and Ellen.  I’ve written about both of them before.

Jane is a gifted artist who paints every morning, even as she struggles with speech and memory. She has the nicest smile and never hesitates to use it.

Ellen is devoted to plants from the Army of Good and lined her windowsill with them. She has never lost her sense of humor, wit, or love of life.

They are two of the sweetest and most gentle human beings I know, and seeing them is always a pleasure.

Ellen is a hugger and hand squeezer, and Jane likes to sit next to me and hold my hand when we meditate. Ellen and I have so much fun talking that we’re preparing to meet for a couple of hours. I look forward to it. I’ll bring her a plant on Monday.

We started with laughter at my Mansion meditation class this morning.

The group was admiring Zinnia, whom they love dearly, and H, one of the regulars in my class, suddenly blurted out: “When my husband died, I didn’t skip a beat,” she said. “When I had to leave my home and come to the Mansion, I had to give up my dog, and I’ll never get over it. I cry for him every day.”

I also got them laughing today when I was talking about breathing in for meditation and then breathing out. “I see it this way,” I said, “I breathe in some calm, and then I blow out the bullshit.” I don’t think I ever got any audience to laugh than that.

We all laughed and kept laughing for a while. We are having many honest conversations in my Meditation Class as we get to know one another. I wouldn’t want to walk into that room without Zinnia, but the residents also do an excellent job pretending I’m essential. I believe them, but I have no illusions about who they are happiest to see.

 

I’m very happy to reconnect with the residents and spend more time with them.

Starting Monday, Zinnia and I will be paying a weekly visit to the Memory Care unit (Jame and Ellen are both in it).

Something good happens when Ellen and I talk; we just click and get each other and make the other laugh.

I am happy to spend more time with her, Jane, and some other Memory Care residents.

There are some very wonderful people there, and they have lots to say and much to feel.

One class woman complained bitterly about being old; she said there was little to be happy about getting that old.

I asked her how old she is.

“I’m 75,” she said.

The room got a bit quiet.

“I’m 75,” I said; it’s the best time of my life.” We all laughed, and I moved on.

But I had a good idea.

“With your permission,” I said, “I’d like to declare a joy day. No old talk, no complaints about family, achy bones, doctors, or food. Only positive thoughts and words can come out of your mouth for one day.” I asked for a vote, but no one disagreed. Next Tuesday is Joy Day; I’ll be eager to see how it goes.

I’m still hoping for support for the Mansion work; I’m getting requests for lighter summer clothes, a music player, and books. Art wants a book about cars; Nancy wants another book by Joan Chittister. Small contributions make all the difference: via Paypal, [email protected], and via Venmo, Jon Katz@Jon-Katz-13.

Small donations really help; they add up. You can also send a check to Jon Katz, the Mansion Fund, P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816. And thank you. I haven’t been asking for many donations lately because I know things are tight. But in keeping with our philosophy of small acts of great kindness, I’ve scaled down what I want to ask for.

This morning, I turned down one resident who asked me to buy her a small TV; hers just stopped working (we bought it for her three years ago), and I said no. We can’t buy things like that right now.

If you can help, even in the smallest way, please do. If not, I understand entirely.

 

(Ellen)

It was an important class, I thought. I subscribe to Joan Chittister’s ideas about getting older and read them to the meditation class.

“There is something about being free of the expectations and deadlines, pressures and responsibilities, schedules and public activities of the middle years that put the later years of life in a totally different light. There is space now and time. There is a possibility now and the kind of accent on people, rather than projects, that we haven’t had for years. that speaks a foreign language to the heart.”

I said this was my experience. There is a sense of freshness and renewal in these years. I do feel a new freedom and liberation from ambition, envy, and making money. But, Seneca cautioned, I said, you have to know how to use it. That’s what I asked them to think about for next week.

They were paying close attention and those who could feel deep into thought. Then we decided to meditate on, and then the aides came in and said it was time for lunch.