What is an artistic aesthetic? Am I an artist? Do I have an artistic aesthetic? Is it something I should care about?

Today, Maria joined the ranks of several other people in saying my aesthetic regarding my flowers and my garden was original and different. She is both an artist and a long-time gardener.

She carries a lot of weight with me.

Other artists are also contacting me about my flower photos and garden bed and telling me I have a very original “aesthetic” from most gardeners about my pictures.

I suspect this is something essential and something I should care about, even if no one else does.

I am not an artist but a writer, but the flower photos and their generous response bring me closer to my seeing myself in that way.

So do the comments of the few artists and art lovers comparing my photo pictures with the paintings and work of the quite extraordinary Georgia O’Keeffe. That has my attention; I am a serious fan.

I never compare my work to hers, that would be self-destructive, but I can’t say it hurts my feelings when someone else does it.

The flower stuff has my head spinning for lots of reasons. It is transformative already, and I am trying to understand what it means.

Since I have heard the term aesthetic when it applies to famous artists but never really focused on it, it seemed like remote artistic jargon. I realized today, when Maria brought it up, that I didn’t even know what it meant, let alone what mine might be.

First, I asked myself, what does it mean in the dictionary and according to real artists like Maria?:

“What is artistic aesthetic? Aesthetics is the study of beauty. An artistic aesthetic is the collection of stylistic choices an artist uses to make a work beautiful or to communicate meaning, value, or emotion to the observer.

 

Maria said most gardens are carefully and thoughtfully planned and considered  – one kind of flower here, some space here, some tall ones here or there, colors separated carefully from one another.

Every flower has a place in every garden, and as Maria pointed out, every aesthetic is different.

Maria said the exciting thing about my aesthetic is that I don’t think much about which flower I choose or where they will go.

Mostly, I am thinking about how the flowers can be photographed and how they look in the context of color, light, and one another.

I dig holes and plant them randomly. Somehow, she says, “You have an absolutely gorgeous garden.” Yes, I do; I see that.

I am not a serious gardener by inclination or ability. I am in it for the pictures, and I see them as the pathway to being a true artist, creating stylistic choices that make a work beautiful to other people and emotionally stirring to them and to me.

My garden beds are as chaotic as my study and much of my life. It’s the way my mind works or doesn’t work. Clutter and chaos have shadowed me my whole life.

I guess my aesthetic would be a kind of gardening chaos, all sorts of flowers thrown today pretty much at random, without too much knowledge or reason or research possessing the color, shapes, and value that make for a good, hopefully significant, photograph one day.

My garden bed flowers come straight from the gut, almost independently of my consciousness. Everywhere I do is like that. Maria says she loves my chaos; it is one of the things she loves the most about me. She says she doesn’t want to be with a boring person, and I am not dull.

A picture has to touch me and touch my heart before I hit the shutter. I am emotionally engaged with every picture I take.

But I am also ruthless at times. I was a relentless reporter; I always got the story. I didn’t care what people thought of me.

If a sheep is sick, I will want to shoot it. If a dog has a terminal illness, I want to help them leave the world quickly and comfortably.

If I don’t wish to photograph one of my flowers, or the picture isn’t what I hoped for, I will get rid of it by giving it to Maria for her gardens or throwing it over the pasture fence for the donkeys to eat.

At the core, my flowers are about my photography, not about flowers.

They are coming to mean much more to me than that as I get to know them. But I still will cull my flowers until I get the ones that are special and fit my aesthetic, if that is the right word. I won’t have any malingerer in my garden beds.

My interests and those of flower lovers collide; we are bound to one another. I will never remember all of their names. Their support has made this possible for me.

I’ve worked hard to decide which flowers to choose, to experiment with many different ones. I’m learning a lot.

There is some reason for my madness. I think of centerpiece flowers surrounded by colorful and original plants that make up a whole I see, but only I can see.

I think of rows of tall flowers whose colors feed into one another and offer a stunning backdrop. I think of bright colors and flowers with character. Like me, flowers lead open lives.

They have no secrets. In my mind, I see colors merging, filling the frame with color.

I have worked hsrd on my floral photography; it’s taken me years to collect the cameras I need, a few lenses I know I need, and the skills to understand light, exposure, and the environment related to photography. I’ve read a dozen books about photography, none about flowers.

Yet the flowers are central; the photography is only as good and beautiful as they are.

I mostly leave the flowering to the elements. I trim them, water them, and watch them closely. They are changing me.

I am coming to think of my flowers more and more – they have indeed brought out something good in me  – but I think we all know I am a much better photographer than a gardener, and that is really what I want to be, that and a good writer.

I see that the flowers are my ticket to being a true artist.

 

My garden beds are chaos, different kinds of flowers thrown together for their color and individuality.

One bed is devoted to Nastirtiums, and one to poppies and flowers that are two feet tall or more. I love photographing all kinds of Begonias and anything with deep and rich colors. I love going inside the flower and seeing them as sentient beings with souls and spirits.

I want to catch their souls, get in close, capture their beauty and passion, their sensuality and sexuality, and stir the emotional response to them that so many people have. Flowers are essential right now; they give us all something beautiful and inspiring to comfort us from the cruelty and anger boiling outside of ourselves.

I’ll have to think about this aesthetic business; I know I have one that differs from most people who garden more seriously and thoughtfully than I do.

My idea is to take the most beautiful pictures that stir good and strong emotions in people and help point me toward the kind of person – and artist – I want to be. I want people to love my pictures of flowers as I love them and to gain as much comfort and good vibrations from them as I am getting.

Some people tell me they cry seeing them. That is what I want, for the people who see my flowers to feel them, not just look at them.

At the core, as I’ve written before, I’m a Beavis &Butthead guy. I dropped out of two colleges before they could throw me out, and I am almost entirely self-educated and self-motivated, for better or worse.

I have never gotten along too well with teachers, most of whom mistook my Dyslexia for stupidity. I knew early on that life would have to teach me, not teachers or my parents.

Like Beavis and Butthead, I am free because I am stupid.

Since I have never learned what I am supposed to do, I do what I want to do, and I defend that freedom fiercely, sometimes, as we know, too fiercely.

Even those who like what I do would like me sometimes to shut up and do my work. It’s good advice.

I am getting there and am happy, even proud,  to be getting there.

I like the idea of capturing photographic images that stir people’s emotions. I’d like that as an aesthetic choice. I believe I can do that.

I also believe that the flowers I photograph will only be as good or as creative as my work to develop a deep and authentic spiritual life from day to day evolves.

This, after all, is what an aesthetic is all about for me.

Humility is the spiritual hinge on which the rest of my creative life depends. The more truth I learn about myself, the more emotion I can bring to my photographs, and the more people they will touch.

I want to be an artist and feel entitled to the title; I’ve wanted that for much of my life.

But first, I have to be sure I am one, so my floral aesthetic is about learning the truth about myself and sharing it in the open.

Then, I’ll not only have a fully developed aesthetic, but I will also understand what that means.