On and off for some years, I’ve worn a necklace with a cross hanging from it, mostly to inspire me to do what Jesus Christ asked his followers to do – be good, be honest, and help the needy and the poor.

I couldn’t worship him, but I could follow his very inspiring teachings.

Today, I took the cross off – I do this every few years – and put on my new spider necklaces, purchased from an artist in Boston and sold on Etsy. The cross will get a rest; it always seems to come back.

Her spiders sold from $68 to $6,000, depending on how much (or little) gold or silver was in them. I got the $68 one, which seemed just right to me. And I’m wearing it now.

From a spider hater to a spider respecter, I learned I don’t want to be one of those human men who love to kill things for fun. Spiders have earned my admiration and respect.

I don’t want to hurt them anymore. Or kill things just because I can.

I’m not sure why I am drawn to associate myself with spiders at this point in life. I used to stomp them on sight, and I suppose I feel a little guilty about that.

I admire and respect their tenacity, creativity, and perseverance. Some of the most beautiful artwork I’ve ever seen comes from spiderwebs in the sun and dew.

Before, I never really knew how important spiders are to our health and well-being. Like snakes, they do an enormous amount of good and very little harm, yet humans, in their peculiar way, hate and fear and kill them at every turn.

Up here, it’s a sport for young males to hunt and torture them in various ways.

Spiders are vital to a healthy ecosystem. They eat harmful insects, pollinate plants, and recycle dead animals and plants back into the earth. They are also a valuable food source for many small mammals, birds, and fish.

Spiders have coalesced around the Goth. Spiders are very much identified with the goth movement now.

There is a rich history behind this.

The Goths were a people who flourished in Europe throughout ancient times and into the Middle Ages.

Sometimes called “barbarians,” they are famous for sacking the city of Rome in A.D. 410. After the Western Roman Empire diminished, two Gothic kingdoms rose: the short-lived Visigoths and the longer-lasting Ostrogoths.

In our culture, Goths are something new and very American. Not surprisingly, young individualists have adopted the name.

They are primarily young people who identify as goths and outsiders and are part of a counterculture of individualism and distinct identity.

Their symbol is most often black clothes and the spider, which teenage goths have chosen as their symbol, perhaps because they, too, are so often targeted and misunderstood. I had Goth friends when I was younger.

I identified with them but never entirely became one.

Like trans kids, goths were easy and are easy targets and were often persecuted by the same kinds of shitheads and bigots who torment and assault trans kids.

Common characteristics of a Goth person:  one whose ideologies and values are consistent with free thinking and the freedom of expression. They see themselves as a counterculture outside of the mainstream. Additionally, there is a dark goth fashion style and goth music.

Goth kids wear a lot of black, love their gloomy tattoos and bling, and listen to t own music, which is similar to punk rock in many ways.

I’ve always liked and identified with goths, although I was always wary of spiders.

That has changed as I have grown older. Maria first got me thinking about my habit of crushing spiders in the shower, where I believed they had no right to be.

Maria asked if I would let her know when a spider was in the bathtub, and she would come and get it and rehome it.

My knee-jerk dislike for spiders reminded me of the young men up here who kill snakes whenever they find them, even if most snakes are peaceful, valuable creatures who only want to be left alone. I don’t care to be in that group.

When I saw a spider walking in the tub, I would shout, “Spider needs rehoming,” Maria would come quickly to save them.

Maria would lean over, stick out a finger, walk out of the bathroom with a spider, and let it go outside.

I’m not sure, but I swear the same spider was back the next day, they seemed intelligent and resourceful, and when I read about them, I learned how valuable they are to the ecosystem.

They eat more insects than birds and bats combined.

So for reasons not yet apparent, I identify with the spider. There is some spiritual mojo in them.

I’m happy to have my shining spider dangling on my chest.