E.M. Forster wrote that we must be willing to let go of the life we were living and have planned to have the life that is waiting for us.
I see aging as a matter of addition and subtraction. It’s time to let go of my expectations and fantasies of eternal youth,
ingrained convictions, jealousies, mistakes, regrets, dislikes, fears, and slights. I have a lot of letting go to do.
Joan Chittister wrote, “Perhaps the most crucial dimension of aging well lies in the awareness that aging has a purpose.”
There is a reason for old age, whatever my position or financial, social, emotional, or spiritual resources.
“The evening of a well-spent life,” wrote the French moralist Joubert, “brings its lamps with it.”
It’s never just one thing. I lose some things but gain some things, such as purpose and direction.
Old age has enlightened and educated me and some others as well. My life coalesces, solidifies, and takes form.
The past is no consequence, the future is mostly wishful thinking, and I have no control over it.
My task is to realize that the end phase of life is one of its best, its riches, and it’s most exciting.
It is perhaps the most important as well, at least to me.
What is past is past, what is done can’t be undone, and what is ahead is not knowable.
The time for me is now the only time I can see, know, and fully understand my life.
Now is the path to peace and wisdom, growth and learning, change and opportunity.
I have nowhere to go but inside, and all the answers I want are there.
My past successes and failures are frozen in time; dwelling in the past and fearing the future is like pouring cement on my soul.
This is familiar ground for me. In many ways, my life has been a series of new beginnings.
I’m ready.
There is no such thing as having one life to live. My life – every life, I think – is a series of lives, each with its purpose,
tasks, and challenges.
Life is never static – there are losses, gains, victories, and pain and joy.
It’s a roller coaster; I’m hanging onto the bars.
For me, the fixed point is now.
What is now, writes Chittister, decides what is to come.
I’m ready for my lamps.
Hey Jon….there seems that you always have a ‘nugget’ or two in what you write. The one that helps me in this time is: ‘what’ is done, can’t be undone’…simple but important when trying not to dwell on the past. Thanks for that bit, it is short and sweet and becomes a useful mantra. Cheers.
I think the movie was “Parenthood,” with Steve Martin, and the grandma said she liked the rollercoaster ride, it was thrilling; the merry-go-round only showed her the same scenery, over and over. I love that line and that sentiment! Years ago, before good therapy, I used to think I was a merry-go-round person, and in fact, I was. It felt safer to me. Now that I am older, the thought of the same thing over and over no longer appeals to me. Neither does frantic activity, to try and get it all in before I die. There’s a lovely middle now, where I can BE in it and of it, enjoying the experiences as they come and as I make them. Aging is just another experience in finding the enjoyment.
That’s such a beautiful quote… from Joubert… soon it will be a story of yours to tell, sitting around the kitchen table, to Robin, you know, then there was the year I lost my big toe!… it will be a tale to tell… you’ll be way past it then…
When I encounter words like these, I hear a favorite rabbi who would ring a bell and chant, “Wisdom! Be attentive!” Like a spell, it would draw a circle (of lamps maybe) around a teaching. Wisdom. Sophia. Be attentive.
Thank you for aging consciously and sharing what you’re learning.