Some of the most popular cliches are also contain some of the most incredible wisdom, which is, I suppose, why they are cliches.

The cup can be half full or half empty. You can curse the darkness or light a candle. For many years organized religion preached, inspired, bludgeoned, and frightened people to think in moral and spiritual ways.

Religion says there were penalties for being cruel or dishonest – like Hall or the fury of God and Gods.

In our time, this way of looking at morality and compassion has been overwhelmed by political divisions, runaway technologies, and a deteriorating and suddenly frightening, even terrifying world.

Our leaders seem to grasp at every issue, but the real one we are coming to know is what we face. We can’t bear to look at reality right now. We no longer look to priests or leaders for moral guidance.

But that doesn’t mean we must be angry, cruel, or unhappy. We don’t need Jesus to get us through that; we can do it ourselves. I’m learning how to awaken.

There are lots of ways to understand spirituality.

One is within organized religion, the other outside of faith, a personal exploration of the soul.

The most coherent definition is this: spirituality is the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul instead of just material or physical things.

In my life, spirituality brought me happiness and meaning. Spirituality eased my anxiety and helped me to be fearless when I need to be. How to feel safe and strong.

Spiritual came to me entirely outside of organized religion, which has consistently failed to comfort, guide, or heal me.

In our time, the power of organized religion, the first institution in the world to preach compassion and kindness, is rapidly declining. It is no longer a force for justice, decency, or empathy if it is ever really about those things.

Many of our most powerful and influential leaders have replaced priests and prophets and abandoned the Ten Commandments or love for the needy and the refugee. Lying and cruelty are sanctioned, even taught by our leaders, and embraced by millions.

Since I could only rarely find inspiration from the outside, I began to look inside, which was my life’s path to happiness and spirituality. Religion, like politics, no longer held significant meaning for me.

Another choice is to look outward or to look inward.  People who follow politicians look outside for guidance.

I went inside. I had nowhere else to go. I found that politics was unhealthy for me to focus on, and the news was as bad or worse. I found guidance and solace in books, meditation, love, and silence. Since there is so much anger on the Internet, I found it a kind of training school to learn how to put my anger aside and focus on sound and joy.

Those guiding goals became my anchors in life, bit by bit, through many failures and many successes. They pushed aside my old values and beliefs and showed me how to see the world anew.

I had to learn to ground myself in the face of moral chaos and confusion.  I wanted to stop going up and down over things I could not control.

I started by coming to grips with fear, anger, and judgment. When I feel angry now, I pause, count to five or six, or even wait a day to respond to something or someone that has made me angry. I am now learning to resist anger and replace it with an impulse for compassion.

When I feel frightened, I meditate, go inside and think of something good to do for other people or some way to love my wife even more.

My work at the Mansion with the elderly and the battered but brave refugee children and their families has anchored me and enriched this search.

Every week I learn something new about the joys of loving and giving and stepping out of myself. Every week this makes me feel good and meaningful, and strong.

Life has taken on a much richer meaning than all my fuss over things that meant nothing over a lifetime.

At first, I failed much more than I succeeded. More and more, I found that cultivating compassion was a way to a happier, calmer, and more peaceful life. I decided to take responsibility for my thoughts, emotions, and reactions.

I am learning to feel my feelings but not always to follow them. I fail as often as I succeed, but day by day, I grow more than ever. I’ll keep going.

I’ve learned that the most striking trait of my effort to be compassionate is how, day by day, my openness and warmth to others grow and spread; I expanded my growing affinity with others rather than judging or dismissing them.

When I drift to judgment and approval, I stop and put myself in the shoes of others. I am not seeking sainthood or perfection; as is obvious, I am far from perfect.

But I am beginning to like who I am and where I want to go. I can’t please everyone and have stopped trying. I need to please myself and the people I love and who love me.

No matter what they are, rich or poor, friends or strangers, I look for what we share, not what divides us.

The search for empathy is my daily spiritual exercise, in meditation and throughout my day. I try to stand in the shoes of others and see the world from their point of view.

I challenge anger when it rises; I hold myself back from engaging or responding to it. This has been one of the most challenging parts of my spiritual work and also one of the most successful.

I am getting there. At first, I pretended not to be angry. One piece at a time, it is becoming the truth.

I have followed the teachings of Jesus Christ as an admirer, not a worshipper.

The hypocrisy that has emerged from his preaching – he is often evoked but rarely followed – taught me to look outside religion for my faith.  

He would be devastated if he came and saw how he became an object of exploitation, not love and mercy.

The Dalai Lama would call this overcoming negative thoughts and feelings. That’s mild when I think about what was boiling inside of me. I chose not only to see myself differently but to live and feel differently.

Aging, like everything else in my life, is a great opportunity for me. I know I am in a race with my body, but I can’t help but feel I’m getting stronger every day.

I call it understanding and sorting out the hot mess that had infected my consciousness. I can only say I have never been happier, more at peace, or more in common with other humans—a good start.

I can’t wait to see where I will finish. I have a long ways to go, which is uplifting in itself.