Maria is creative all the time, not just when she is working in her studio.

She is creative every minute of her life in everything she does. She needs no prodding or pressure; her brain is programmed to be creative, open, and brighten the world.

She doesn’t want to be two or three things; she wants to be one thing.

She couldn’t stop being creative if someone offered he a million dollars to come and work for them. She knows where her heart and soul are.

Every windowsill in our farmhouse is a gallery; Maria is the curator. She decides what goes where and when. We sat and talked yesterday, and she did this sketch, using color for the first time in her drawings.

For genuine creativity, the work itself must be its reward because there will not likely be any other. Lightning sometimes strikes, but not very often. We all understand that we would be doomed if we ever had a lot of money.

People with money very rarely want to be like true creatives.

My greatest fear as a writer is that I would become a diddler, and I was so afraid of it because I saw it happen to so many people who started out wanting to be creative and ended up liking fame or money, or influence instead.

My work with the elderly taught me early on that money in the bank does not bring happiness or security to people as they age.

Creatives are easily bought off by the lure of security, even more so by the lure of fame and power.

They do this; they do that. They survive, but so often, as Joseph Campbell warned his students, they can quickly end up with a lovely house and an empty heart.

Honestly, my heart breaks a little for all those bright kids who want to grow up being influencers on  Instagram or TikTok or instant literary stars on Substack. Being a good doctor was a noble goal not too long ago.

The winners in the new world of fame get lots of attention, and the losers disappear.

Our culture promotes the idea of instant wealth and fame and influence. To me, creativity is much more about focus, will, and heart. But that’s just me. The person I live with shares the same ethos.

I have no wish to be an Influencer; I want to be a writer. And it took me years of hard and focused work to get there. The more things I wanted, the less I had. I swore years ago that I would always be a writer no matter what, and at the very least, that is a promise I have kept.

Maria has her head on the right. She doesn’t sell her sketches or try to get them into an art gallery. She loves to make them.

She isn’t looking to be powerful or wealthy, or influential. She wants to do her work and make her art.

There is no glory in being famous on social media for a month or so or being one of the many billions of people who will never be recognized or influential and whom we never read about. This is an exciting world where a 15-year-old with a wacky idea can take you out any second and will.

It’s not for me. Diddling would be the first death.

To Maria, sketching that windowsill is as wonderful as having a show at the Met.

In the same way, writing on my blog is similar. Once in a while – more lately – somebody writes me to say that an essay should be in the New York Times.

I don’t know how to say I have no interest in being in the New York Times, and they have no interest in me (my first job in journalism was at the New York Times. an excellent newspaper, I read it every day online,  but no place for me to be.)

When you have a cushy job and a regular paycheck, it can be tough to muster the will and anger to live a life that doesn’t bring a steady paycheck or the security and money we are told from birth we must have to get old.

I know many friends who were passionate about making art or writing books and were bought up by the first wealthy person to come with a job offer. They didn’t even blink. I made a lot of money for a while, nearly destroying my life.

None of them are happy.

That is the big lie – the instant fix, the idea that it’s possible to live a creative life if one believes social media is the key to glory or if you want to make a million dollars or rattle the world as an Influencer.

That might be fine for other people to do, but it has little to do with being creative or living a creative life. The trick on TikTok is to be noticed, not creative.

I never tell anyone what to do, and  I never like it when people tell me what to do. This is just what I do and what I believe. And it’s what I didn’t do and won’t do.

I love living with a genuinely creative artist who puts nothing ahead of doing what she loves and is called to do, no matter the risk or sacrifice. I admire and respect her for that. I like to think I’m the same way.

We each married the right person.