It’s done. Liam is gone. Godspeed to our last lamb, a good and gentle guy.
He knew.
Somehow, they know. Maria and I have seen the same thing. When it’s time for the sheep to die, they always walk into the Pole Barn and an old stable behind it. Something about them lets go, surrenders to a life that they are ready to leave.
It’s one of the ways they tell us: let go.
There is this idea in the animal world that mercy means keeping animals alive by any means and at all costs.
Sometimes, the very opposite is true. Killing Liam was the most merciful thing we could have done for him.
It’s touching – they never run off or balk; they go where we want them to go and wait. I swear that Liam gave me me a beseeching look – the one I saw in Rose – that says, “I’m finished here.”
It is a poignant, even beautiful, thing to see.
He walked himself right into the stable this morning with Maria.
They just know.
Animals speak to us and tell us when they are exhausted and suffering, and when life has no longer meaning for them.
They just let go and somehow let us know. You see this if you know an animal well, live with them, or lose enough of them over the years.
Unlike humans, they don’t fear the truth or fight it when the time comes. They die with grace.
I know when it’s time, I know.
Life goes out of their eyes; they are confused, lost, and helpless. Their spirit does before they do.
They break the heart and stir the soul. But they lift us up as well.
This intimate experience is something I’ve always had trouble explaining to the people out there who think they know more than I do or Maria does about what is happening to our animals.
And when it is time to help them leave the world in dignity and comfort.
This is something we are rarely able to let our human loved ones do.
As stewards of our animals, our mission is to care for them well and spare them needless suffering and trauma.
My request for others is to leave people alone at this difficult time. The Internet brings us wonderful things and awful pests and insensitive intruders.
Condolences and empathy are welcome and helpful. I thank you, and so does Maria, for all the beautiful and sweet messages. Those messages matter.
Every time one of our animals dies, there are people waiting to accuse us of being callous and indifferent because we don’t take their invariably unknowing advice.
Please don’t do it. It’s hard enough to do this without a torrent of useless advice and opinion from strangers to distract us or anyone losing an animal.
In my experience, people who think they have all the answers usually have none.
You cannot diagnose a sick animal over social media. It’s wrong, unethical, and dangerous.
I am so grateful that we could give Liam this gift and spare him so much pain.
Liam had stopped eating and was, in a sense, already gone. We will never forget him as our last lamb, the gentle giant, the patient leader of his flock.
He was killed by a pistol shot to his head. He died instantly, there were the usual one or two twitches and he was gone.
Liam’s life was a blessing and a joy, and we are grateful for having him.
Our friend came this morning – I couldn’t do the killing this time- and Liam is gone, another chapter ending in our rich and beautiful lives.
As I’ve written, I don’t believe in mourning the animals we lose for long. I prefer to love another one.
I feel sad, I feel good, and I am ready to move forward. Maria is brave and loving at once, I am grateful for her, as always.
I accept the nature of things. Gods live in all of us. We gave Liam a very good life, and he gave us much joy in return.
I look forward to caring for our animals or those to come. It is a sacred responsibility.
I loved the Liam stories and glad you were able to cease his suffering.
So sorry to hear about Liam. My sincere condolences to you and Maria.
You gave him a good life and a good death and that’s all that can be asked of us.
Good job.
I’m so sorry for your loss! I’ve always enjoyed reading about Liam and your special relationship with him. He was blessed by your ability care for him during his life and to know when it was time to let him go. May he rest in peace.
Godspeed, Liam. I commend you for helping Liam with his transition. No animal should have to suffer needlessly.
I have lost many beloved animals in my 71 years. Never easy. The words that you wrote sum it up best for me:
“I Know when it’s time. I know. Life goes out of their eyes; they are confused, lost, and helpless. Their spirit before they do.” Thank you for giving Liam such a nice life and “fitting”need to end his life❤️❤️❤️❤️
I will never understand you Jon Katz…..Do you understand yourself? I know that you have a heart but you
have trouble showing it….why??
Sally, you’ve finally got it after all these years, poor thing. You will never understand me, and I will probably never understand myself. As to my heart, that belongs to Maria; nobody else, human or animal, gets to have it. I’m sure you are a good person, but I think you’d make a lousy therapist. I have a very good one. As you once told me, “let it go,” I’ll be me, and you be you.
Hmm — Does Jon have trouble showing it? Or do you have trouble seeing it?
I see his heart in this piece just fine.
Yes, Bonnie!
God speed Liam! Blessings to you and Maria, you’re both wonderful stewards to the animals that live with you on the farm! If there is an after life for animals may Liam graze on fields of green.
To everything there is a season.
You and Maria are very intuitive of each other as well as your animals. The world would be a better place if more people were like that.
Sending you both hugs.
Peace to both you and Maria. Liam loved a beautiful life. Grateful for other like minded people that care for animals.
You will be missed Liam. You had a good life with caring and loving caretakers!!
Those eyes always tell us. What a great life Liam had.
I had a horse last year that was about 30 years old. She could no longer get up on her on if she laid down. She went down one night and I had the vet come thinking it was time to let her go. The vet was able to get her up. I knew it was coming and I was constantly stressed about her laying down. The vet told me one of his other clients said something interesting to him. Instead of waiting to let them go when it’s the worst time for them, this person let theirs go on a good day when they knew the time was coming. No struggle for the animal or owner and there was a sense of dignity for both. So as you did for Liam, I did for Liza. The vet came and I had some wonder sweet moments with her. And then I let her go. It absolutely was the right thing to do even though the pain of loss still greeted me when I heard her fall to the ground. It’s the price paid for loving them.
I’m so sorry Jon and Maria. Godspeed to Liam. You and Maria gave him a wonderful life
Bless you both for your stewardship of this creature of God. The decision you made is the most difficult but most loving one we make as animal “parents.” You ended his suffering knowing that meant your suffering over his passing was just beginning. You respected and loved him to his very last moment.
Thank you for this. Liam was beautiful. You are beautiful. Life is precious. Death is hard. Love is forever.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Liam was lucky to have been a part of your lives.
On the subject of those who think they have the answers, I read a wonderful poem by Mary Oliver this morning and one stanza is, “Let me keep my distance, always, from those who think they have the answers.” She was right.
Goodbye sweet Liam, you had the face of an angel.
The real cruelty that I have seen is a greatly suffering animal that is kept alive because the owners are only thinking of themselves and their emotional pain. There are no excuses for this.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I agree, our animals let us know when it’s time.
Although Liam is no longer with us, he will not be forgotten. A while back, Maria took a series of wonderful portraits – one of each of her sheep. They turned out great! Liam was one handsome dude and I will always remember him as a part of that Bedlam farm family. Your and Maria’s narratives and photos are what bring the farm and these animals to life for your readers. Thank you for sharing the sad times with us as well as the good. It’s really all just a part of life, isn’t it? RIP Liam!
I am sorry for the loss of Liam.
“As stewards of our animals, our mission is to care for them well and spare them needless suffering and trauma.” Tears are streaming down my face as I read your post – I loved Liam too. But thank you all for giving him the precious gift of leaving this world in dignity and comfort after having a wonderful, cared-for life. Godspeed, sweet Liam.
I believe our last loving gesture as stewards for these beasts, be them farm or residential companions, is to help them go quickly and without suffering. Thank you Jon and Maria for loving Liam with such grace.
I am so sorry for your loss.Your statement struck a nerve with me.i have been accussed of doing to much and too little ,but every animal has told me it was time, that if i went farther i was being selfish. Yet there have been a very small few that were full of fight and life that had possibly treatable ( both im referring to were laminitis Not caused by metobolic issues- 1st snake bite,infection,etcnever quit eating great patient..) 2nd got with laminitis in 4 feet 4 year old..got him healthy and sound 5% but what he needed most was tlc great farrier and time..but most i have said goodbye.. and i applaud you for always knowing your animals well enough to know what is right for each individual.i am so sorry that yoou lost him but know without a doubt he had a good life
Makes me wonder, whatever happened to Annie?
Godspeed sweet Liam. The last picture you posted is beautiful. Love the lighting and Liam’s wonderful face. Give me an animal over a human on many days. Genuine souls❤️
Jon, as always you express feelings so beautifully in your words. You and Maria took many great pictures of Liam and his flock. He was my favorite of your sheep after Zelda, but like her, his time had come. Blessings on his spirit and on you & Maria.
To everything there is a season. Thank you for this essay.
Godspeed Liam. You had a great life and we’re given a graceful end. Thank you Jon and Maria, for taking such good care of your animals. Sending you hugs.
So sorry for your loss of Liam. You and Maria do an excellent job taking care of all you beautiful animals.
Take care.
I wish you, Maria and all of your animals the best. Thank you for sharing Liam’s life and earth with us.
yes, godspeed Liam! You and Maria did the most merciful thing….you DO have a HUGE heart indeed. Sending loving wishes to you both.
Susan M
We cannot know Love without knowing Sorrow. We cannot know Love, without knowing Grief. Safe journey, dear Liam. You were so very Loved. And warm hugs to you, Jon, and to Maria.
It is a blessing that when our animals need us the most, we can help them with all the love in our hearts. Sending love to you both.
Thank you for sharing Liam with us. My condolences to both of you as you grieve your loss. I understand “the look” you mention. Our animals are able to communicate with us and let us know when they are ready to leave. I knew a wonderful Vet, his question was, “Which end of the leash am I treating”? He had a heart for animals. His greatest challenge was in dealing with pet owners that did not understand that animals are still animals. He echoed your wisdom of respecting animals and not projecting our human thoughts and emotions onto them. Thank you for sharing this special moment with us.
My thoughts are with you. Liam knew your love and care and he is now making room for another animal to live a great life with you all on the farm. I am sure he appreciated the respect and love that you showed him by recognizing and honoring his wish to move on.
Jon,
Somebody above me said it best. But I will repeat as it’s how I feel.
I thank you and Maria for giving Liam such a great life. I have enjoyed your stories of him and the sheep in general. You have done a service to many by showing the small farm life. Can’t really ask for much more.Godspeed.
You and Maria have added much to my life. I’ve benefited from your descriptive life on the farm and the shared words regarding your life, Maria’s life and the lives of the animals you both care for and love. So many similarities exist between my life with my husband here in Maine and the lives you and Maria maintain. My husband has Parkinson’s disease so I’ve become the “Willa Cather” here with many of the chores that some might say are the man’s jobs. We just do what needs to be done to keep life moving forward. The up side is I’ve learned a lot about power tools, stacking firewood, and building things since I’ve retired. My husband does what he can and enjoys his volunteer times with the local agency on aging furry friends program. They distribute pet food for needy seniors, and it’s so helpful. I’m not sure why people are rude and critical of what you’re doing, but carry on! It’s sure a blessing for me!
It’s just life in America right now Kathryn, you are a blessing to me.