Gratitude is a philosophy of life. Gratitude is free.

I wrote books for one publisher, Random House, for over 30 years. Five of them were bestsellers. During the 2008 crash, Random House laid off my editor. From that moment, no Random House editor ever spoke to me again. That is how publishing works.

That same year, I ended a 35-year-marriage, lost all of my money, and broke down. That is how divorce works. Two years later, worn down by the real estate crash,  I went bankrupt and was nearly homeless. That is how a recession works. I learned a lot during those years.

Everything about my everyday life disappeared. Looking back, I am grateful for every day of it. I went on my Hero Journey. I left the familiar behind, sat out to figure out who I was, met magical helpers along the way, survived danger and trouble, and returned to the world to live my life in peace, find love, and share what I had learned and seen.

I tell that story in a hundred different ways every single day. It’s the story of my life.

I started my blog. I began taking pictures.

I began to ache for love and open myself to it. It was right down the road all the time.

I met Maria, and two years later, I married her. Soon after that, I decided my calling was to live my life, never to put my writing in the hands of others again, to live a loveless life again, to mentor the young,  and to do good in every way I could. I began working with the Mansion residents to ease their burdens; I started working with refugee students to help them transition into America and leave their heartbreaking troubles behind.

Last night, Maria and I took some time out from working all the time. We mean to have a quieter, peaceful week. We intend to practice gratitude.

We both were somewhat shocked, sitting in our living room by the wood stove fire,  that we had put our creative lives together after all of our troubles – she had as many as I did – and to move forward and live the lives we are living. We live a creative life. We do good together. We are surrounded by nature and animals. People pay us or contribute to the work we do.

We support one another in everything we do.

Maria has almost miraculously turned her art into a creative life; she creates what she wants and needs no one’s permission to do her art. She sells all of it, at least for now. I write whatever I want and take pictures of whatever I want, even though I am barraged by messages from people telling me what I should be writing and saying.

I can hardly be grateful enough that I no longer have to do what people who care nothing for me tell me to do and say.

Technology is a double-edged sword. It makes my blog and good work possible, and legions of yentas and busybodies are looking for people to sting. Nothing is free.

Even that is something I am now grateful about. I have shed so much anger, frustration, loneliness, confusion, and anxiety that marked so much of my life. I have paid a lot for this transition and hurt many other people along the way. Joseph Campbell says Hero Journeys are like that.

. I will always be sorry for that, but I also have learned that if I cannot love myself for all my flaws, no one else will be able to love me.

People always write to Maria telling us how lucky we are, how extraordinary our lives are, and what perfect lives we lead. We both smile and bow our heads when we get messages like that. There is no such thing as a “lucky” or ideal life.

Those are the fantasies and projections of other people who are enmeshed in a culture that believes Thanksgiving is a day to rush to malls or get online and look for bargains.

Nobody gave us our lives to us or dropped them on us from the sky. I wince when people tell me how lucky I am. They should only know. But I am happier than ever and proud of us.

Thomas Merton on gratitude:

“To be grateful is to recognize the Love of God in everything He has given us – and He has given us everything. Every breath we draw is a gift of His love; every moment of existence is a grace, for it brings immense graces from Him.

Gratitude, therefore, takes nothing for granted, is never unresponsive, and is constantly awakening to new wonder…”

I don’t thank God for my life. I wanted it and worked for it. Perhaps, if there is a God, his role was to let me get to it.

Maria and I have both worked hard, bled hard, hoped hard, suffered, and panicked. Grandma Moses was right. Life is what you make of it.

Nothing worth having comes easily. We are responsible for everything we have, for everything we lose, all the good we do, and all the bad. I don’t believe there are lucky or perfect lives or that our lives depend on the money we make or have stashed away in the bank.

Merton is right.

Gratitude should never be taken for granted.

For me, gratitude is an attitude; I thank people whenever they do something good or kind to me. Freedom is closely linked to gratitude for me. It is a way of thinking. Every morning, before I get up out of bed, I give thanks for the many good things in my life.

Gratitude is a habit when I think about it.

I am grateful that Maria and I follow our hearts and callings and live our lives. The work we must do must never be taken for granted, dismissed as “lucky,” and is never done or easy. We’ve come out of the darkness and into the light. No matter what happens to us, there is no going back.

I learned long ago that money doesn’t buy happiness or security. Mostly, it just means wanting to have more money.

Deep in my heart, the Calvinist lives somewhere. Nothing brings more peace and happiness to me than love and hard work.

We are grateful for every day of our lives and hopeful for many more.

We are thankful to the many good people who have supported us, donated to my blog, the Army Of Good, and the people who buy Maria’s potholders, hanging pieces, and quilts.

We choose this and every Thanksgiving to devote ourselves to gratitude, to real Thanksgiving. That’s what this week will be about for me. Have a peaceful week. Gratitude Week.