I believe the hard work of every part of my life is to confront my fears so that the stages of life can become more than they were.
The unfeeling and spiritual culture around us presents life as continuously diminishing past youth and middle-aged. Since that is all we hear about growing older, it’s all most of us believe. For me, age is not about going off to a cottage or trailer park and becoming irrelevant.
Everyone has the right to make their own choices.
The fear, of course, is of invisibility, uselessness, pain, suffering, and then death. Seen that way, we keep failing and failing. No wonder we get scared.
But I’ve come to see life as a trade-off, I lose something, and I gain something, a door closes, and a door opens. I can’t lift heavy things, but I can mentor a gifted young writer and give him some of my strength and confidence.
My legs sometimes ache and stiffen, but I can work with an Army of Good People to help the elderly and the refugee young. I often go to the doctor too often, but I can plant a beautiful garden for the first time in my life.
I had open heart surgery and no longer hike in the woods, but I can get my hands on a Leica camera and take beautiful pictures that please me and others.
My publisher has forgotten about me – there are very few authors my age publishing books – but I have a blog with millions of hits a year. And it is a safe place.
I no longer get those fat royalty checks, but I get paid for the new work I do, people donate to my blog, and I offer Dog Support on Zoom to dog lovers with problems and charge $50 a talk.
The world is full of gloom, rage, and alarm; I am full of hope, promise, and opportunity. I have no idea how many more years I have, but I can promise they will be positive and, to some, uplifting.
I am past the age where we are believed to find love, but I have found more life now than I have ever known.
I am taking ukulele lessons to make music and sing to the people in Memory Care, and to Maria and the donkeys. What a sweet feeling that will bring.
The earth is reeling from climate abuse, but we are changing to meet the challenge in our small way. I drive a hybrid car, and we have a large solar panel in the pasture; paper and bags are vanishing from our lives.
I am not invisible, I am not useless, and my life has neither shrunk nor been diminished.
Once I passed through my middle years, I realized that I had to learn to understand and cope with the fear of weakness – how it works and can be contained.
In so doing, I have lost neither my sense of self nor human obligation.
Containing my fear of weakness was the roadblock that, once reduced, opened up many paths and roads. I don’t mourn what I’ve lost, I celebrate what I have.
Amen Jon –
I turned 80 this year – every time I give up something I used to do – I find there is always something new to try !
And —— always another book to read and a new author to discover!
I have fallen down three times – but so far so good – falls happen soooo fast!!!
I am grateful every morning to just wake up!!
Gail
Growing older in this COVID age as not been delightful. Isolated in my condo since March 2021, I celebrated my 87th. birthday in June with cake, cards, bouquets and gifts brought to me by my daughter and with texts from my grand kids.
Stop going to the the Senior Center when the much younger seniors began to speak to me in the syrupy sweet voice used to speak to tots. I wasn’t moving fast enough for them
or I for additional information.
Learning how to navigate the internet world has been a challenge, but I get better everyday. I’ve learned lots of things and I’m enjoying success with Wordle and Spelling Bee. Proves there’s hope for a Dylexic person.
The best news is . . .all the cancer has been removed and it hasn’t evaded the muscle.
Praise God, for alert doctors, surgeons, and thoughtful nurses; and my daughter who supports my life journey.
And big thanks to you Jon and all the thoughtful commenters. Reading your blog every night is so satisfying.
Jon, your Journal entry brings a wealth of insight to the natural process of aging. Your words keep me inspired to continue to feel fortunate that I have had the privilege to live my 70 years of life even with all the changes or weaknesses that life betows on our bodies after we reach certain ages. I love the positivity of the previous comment from Gail. We need to hear about the positivity as we accumulate years of living. I will close with a quote that gives me motivation each day ( I apologize that I have forgotten the author)…. “True wellness is living fully as you can within your circumstances”. Enjoy the day! Cindy
Jon, thank you for these wise words. I’ll be 70 next year and my husband 73 and both of us have “health challenges “. Sometimes it is hard to remain positive but you are so right. We need to find the things we can do and contribute to our community. That is the path to continuing growth and life and love and happiness. Thank you!
Hi Jon, thank you for your words today and everyone who has commented on the changes we endure as we age. I love the concept of replacing the things we can’t do with the things we can. Always being open to learning something new and contributing to our communities are things that give meaning to our lives. I recently reached the age of 72, and I started studying Italian. I studied the language in high school because my parents are of Italian/Sicilian descent. That was more than 50 years ago. There are language apps and I am using Duolingo. I am doing quite well learning the vocabulary and the different aspects of the language, including translating Italian to English and vice versa. Learning an instrument is another one of those activities that challenges the brain. I am so grateful that I still have the ability and the desire to learn. Thank you for sharing your progress.
Thank you, Nonna