It’s no secret that life in an assisted care facility like the Mansion can be complex and confusing for the residents. The staff always works hard to care for the residents and talk with them, but life in assisted care is very different from the lives the residents have lived all their lives.

That is not possible to forget.

(Photo Above, Elly)

They lose almost all of the barometers and guideposts that shaped their lives. They no longer cook or care for their families; their husbands are often gone, have no work, have lost their pets and friends, and have to be content with growing health concerns.

They often feel abandoned and forgotten.

No matter how well-treated people are in assisted care, they are sometimes frustrated, depressed, and feel confined and forgotten.

I’ve become a quasi-pastor there; my meditation classes now include reading from Thomas Merton, Henri Nouwen, Thich That Nanh, Parker Palmer, Anne Lamott, and St. Terese. Most of my teaching and reading is ecumenical; I’ve told them all about a Jew turned Quaker, but they don’t care.

Everyone in the class is of the Christian faith, so some of my reading focuses on that faith and its prophets.

But we venture failed; we often talk about aging and how spirituality can help.

We practice calming and breathing exercises, then meditation for between five and 15 minutes.

My readings are always uplifting and focus on the meaning of spirituality and the ways to find it in assisted living. The writers I picked believe aging can be beautiful, meaningful, and challenging.

I believe that also.

Joan  Chittister and Henry Nouwen are especially effective at helping people focus on positive aspects of their lives. Chittister, in particular, challenges the aging to find purpose and meaning in their lives. Merton and Nhat Nanh explain meditation and the beauty of solitude.

View from my chair: there are people behind me and around me, 14 today.

Today, I read from Chittister’s The Gift Of Years; she challenged widely believed stereotypes about life after 65:

“The elderly of our time are portrayed as frail and bumbling creatures who dodder along doing nothing, understanding nothing, aware of nothing, muttering. They’re “away with the fairies,” as the Irish say…These representations are not true, and we know that, too, because we’re it, we’re the real thing. And we do not babble or dodder or mutter. We think very well, thank you, and we work hard and know precisely  what is going on in the world around us.”

I’ve been working at the Mansion for four or five years, and I can testify to the wisdom and truth of Chittister’s writing. Every week, three women from Memory Care come to my meditations; they are as attentive and are of the class as anyone in it. They love to meditate with me and do it faithfully.

I’m no magician, and I can’t turn back the clock or alter the rhythms of life,  but the aides tell me the residents value the meditation class very much – attendance is always high, and the seats are always full. We have become a community, seeking a spiritual life and struggling for patience, faith, and peace.

I value these classes very much; they are as helpful to me as anyone in the room.

The LED lights we purchased for the Halloween celebration have arrived and are showing up all over the Mansion. Thank you.

We are working to re-start the Mansion Men’s Group, starting small next week or the week after with just three or four and seeing where we can go with that. Stay tuned.