This morning, I’m returning to the Mansion for my meditation class, a week’s highlight.
I always prepare before I go.
I’ll be reading from Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese Buddhist who wrote so beautifully about fear, from Joan Chittister’s book The Gift Of Years and Henri Nouwen’s Bread For The Journey, which includes his essay on Jesus and Meditation.
Maria is away for the day visiting a sculpture museum with her friend Emily; she’ll be back later today. I enjoy being alone in some ways, and by the end of the day, I will miss her presence and companionship.
The day is so different without her, but there is joy and peace in being alone, I cherish that also.
I want to ream them this passage from Chittister’s book: “Perhaps the most important dimension of aging well lies in the awareness that there is a purpose to aging. There is a reason for old age, whatever our stage of life, no less this one than any other. “The evening of a well-spent life,” wrote French moralist Joubert, “brings its lamps with it.”
This is how I feel about my aging, and it is so important to level with these people and talk about their lives where they are now, not just where they used to be. They appreciate it so much.
I’ve come to love many of these people, and they have come to love me. I feel warm and welcome there. It fills me with meaning.
I’ve spent most of the morning on the phone with my Health Insurance Company and Saratoga Hospital billing, trying to understand how two orthotics for my shoes turned into a $670 bill.
No one seems to know. I’m appealing the bill.
I now see these encounters as a spiritual opportunity, a chance to learn patience, empathy, and acceptance. If the bill actually is correct, I accept it and figure out a way to pay it. I take some deep breaths before I call and be courteous and calm.
I feel so much better and so so much better when I exhale the frustration and anger and stay peaceful.
It’s not the fault of the people on the other end; if I am civil and courteous, they are most often good to me. Approaching people as an enemy with righteous indignation and grievance never helps and is just another kind of abuse to me.
I always stay online and give them the highest marks for helping me. It is an intelligent thing to do – yelling at people is pointless – but as necessary, it makes me feel good about something we are conditioned to feel quite bad about.
These are humans on the other end of the phone, just like me, and if we treat humans like humans, they act like humans. And if we don’t treat them well, they turn sour and angry, as has happened to many Americans.
And we often don’t get the help we need and deserve. I am working hard to treat other people well, just like the mourners in the long lines in England last week.
It is an awful thing to lose one’s dignity. The Mansion residents know how easily that can happen in old age.
I’m teaching much in my meditation class but learning much more.
You are so wise. “Dignity” is an important quality to recognize in all ages, but especially in those who are older. Thank you.
There is more consumer deception since the pandemic. Companies are squeezing every penny and a half out of their buyers from hiring barely-English speaking foreign customer service contractors to placing goods on shelves to save space (and make it very difficult to reach for seniors) to hiding the customer-service people that used to be in the CEO’s office to help with difficult consumer issues.
Youre right, don’t yell at the agents on the phone; while young people might assume an elder is slow and forgetful, it’s the senior management that’s doing the penny squeezing. Most of the big sellers have more and more class-action cases against them. Congress needs to improve the situation. We need to do more than praise the good helpers, but also tell our lawyers and representatives what needs to be done. We have power in tsunami numbers!
Do your animals use tools?
Scientists are studying this. You can videotape your animal using a tool and post it to a research site. Here’s a site where people have put videos up of their horses (e.g., uses a stick to scratch their belly (I did the same during the night last night, but my back)), https://innovative-behaviour.org
Just curious. (And contribute to science)
Fate uses tools…Zinnia will use tools to get to food, and Bud uses tools to get at mice and moles..I don’t video it tho..
Trying to stay calm is vital for your health and the health of others. I fail at this often. Like many I was impressed by the people of England who managed to wait calmly for hours in line to say goodbye to their queen. Americans can’t seem to display that kind of dignity or patience or respect.
What wisdom! Thank you for sharing. I too value equanimity and continually work in earnest to cultivate it in myself. Also love beloved teacher Thich Nhat Hanh’s gentle nudges toward open heartedness.