Katherine’s daughter Cindy messaged me early this morning to tell me her mother Katherine, a retired psychologist, died last night in the presence of her three daughters, who loved her very much.
I didn’t know Katherine or Cindy, but I was touched by their request to show their mother my flower photos; she said she wanted one of them to be the last thing she saw before she died of stage 4 pancreatic cancer in hospice care. The walls of her room were covered in printouts of my flower pictures.
She said the color and light gave her warmth and peace. Wow, that was a beautiful thing. Cindy said she was not conscious when she died, so my pictures were not the last things she saw, but I told her that if the last things she saw were her daughters, that was the best thing. If my pictures gave her comfort, that was good enough.
Cindy is a teacher, and school opens for her next week. Katherine was very much loved, a sweet legacy to leave behind. Godspeed, Katherine.
Cindy said her mother told her that I was a hospice volunteer and would understand her request and respond. She wanted me to know her mother died in comfort and dignity.
People think hospice is about killing people or giving up and surrendering life, but that is not true. Hospice is about helping people to leave the world in comfort and peace. I am grateful Katherine died in that way. Hospice is a wonderful option for people who want to die well.
I’m sending Cindy a print of the last photo of mine that her mother saw, the one below.
?Jon, “Love, care, hope. “Reaching so many near and far~An amazing testimony of the walk in doing good, touching humanity.?
Jon you really are kind and have a good heart. Thank you.
What a lovely thought – to send Cindy a print of the last flower picture her much-loved mother saw. Good for you!!
That is just beautiful. I think hospice care is excellent. I don’t know why some m people resist it until it’s too late to enjoy its benefits. My aunt lived 18 months after going into hospice care. I think her treatments were what put her into hospice care. And she fared better after that.
I am glad you gave these ladies comfort with your photos.
They say the last sense that goes is hearing, so she heard her daughters. I feel I have met Katherine and Cindy through your writing and the pictures of the gloriously colored flowers. A real contribution to my life.
Thank you, Sharon, it was a powerful experience for me, couldn’t get it out of my heat.
Bless you Jon.
My brother just left the hospital for hospice care. I’m finding much comfort and peace in your words, “Hospice is a wonderful option for people who want to die well.” Your words are healing and reach far and wide.
Thanks for the message, Linda; he’s lucky to have you as a sister. You won’t regret hospice, they are wonderful and they spare people the indignity of one pointless surgery after another in a strange and cold place. He will die in peace and comfort and dignity.
Beautiful
Condolences to all. Your photo is amazing and beautiful. It gives all a sense of happiness and peace. Much love, Sharon K.-G.
Hi Jon,
I’ve been thinking of you and your work a lot this week. I’ve been an avid reader of yours for many years and learned a lot about what hospice means from you. I am so happy to have that knowledge because for the first time ever I have a family member in hospice – my grandmother. It’s a very emotional and scary situation but I keep coming back to your writings on it and reminding myself that death isn’t scary, and that hospice is about giving the patient the comfort and dignity they deserve in their last days of life. It’s really been what’s getting me through and helping out my family. So many people are scared of death and dying but I know how important it is to appreciate life and be there at the end if you can. So thank you for all of your wise thoughts!! All the best,
Thanks so much Nicole, I believe you won’t regret it. Death in a hospital or with a person in great pain getting pumped with drugs and dragged to procedures is not a happy way to leave the world. Hospice is not there to kill your grandmother but to give her the chance to die in comfort and with peace and dignity. It is, I believe a great gift you are giving her, not pressuring her to suffer more than is necessary. Death is sad, but not only sad. In hospice care, people can say goodbye with dignity. I think that’s so important as you are discovering. But it is difficult for sure, and good luck during this time. Thanks for writing me. I appreciate it. Doctors are good a healing. They are not good at helping people leave the world comfortably.