During the worst of my Covid delusions, I had this awful feeling I might end up in the hospital or worse; I was having so much trouble wheezing, gagging, and coughing. I didn’t get the Covid lite that’s going around; I got the big Momma.

Perhaps I should have gone to the hospital, but it cleared up, and I am getting stronger by the day. As I wrote this morning, I kept thinking about what I needed to do if I didn’t get better or ended up in the hospital.

The first thing was to give Maria the book of passwords I keep for all my banking and online apps. The next – it kept returning – was to ensure that Gerry at the Mansion got the box of books Alys Curlane of the Bright Lights Book Project In Palmer, Alaska, sent at my request.

Alys is a hero, sending used books to people who can’t afford to buy them. She never says no; she asks what we need. She is saving us a lot of money. Gerry is a devoted reader; she often runs out of books to read. Alys is a godsend.

Getting Gerry her books was a strange thing to be thinking about, given that I wasn’t near death and Gerry could wait a day or so for her books.

But I wasn’t sure at the moment. Like every else, I’d read a lot about the many older people in America who died lonely deaths in hospitals from Covid 19, and it felt like I was sinking fast.

I’ve never been sick like that before.

No one at the Mansion has Covid, and I was not about to pass it on. Going there twice a week has consistently raised the danger for me, especially with heart disease and diabetes, but we are always masked and keep our distance. As it happens, I’m sure we both picked it up in Williamstown, Mass; we were around a lot of people.

I asked Maria if she would drive me to the Mansion in the morning – I can’t drive yet, and I’m quarantined until Friday – so we could drop off the books Alys shipped from Alaska. Alys is also supplying hundreds of books for the revamped Bishop Gibbons library we are trying to support.

I got stuck on the idea they might get lost or misplaced in the chaos of my getting sicker. My mind was not the clearest it’s been.

We dropped the books off; I didn’t even get out of the car. Maria left them on the porch, and we took off like bank robbers making a getaway.

Tania Woodward brought the books to Gerry this morning and thoughtfully sent me this photo.

She texted me this photo with a note saying Gerry “loved them,” this was a significant boost for me. I was drained today, I did a lot of writing in the morning, and I’m tired. It’s a cloudy, gloomy day, and I’m sick of being sick.

It is a beautiful gift that gives Gerry so much joy and pleasure.

She is one of the sweetest people at the Mansion, always reading up in her chair by the upstairs window and always smiling. She is shy, doesn’t hear well, and keeps mostly to herself. Someetimes I bring her a muffin.

She likes to chew on them while she reads. And she’d pat Zinnia all day long.

She never talks or asks me about the books; she sits quietly by the window and reads them. It is beautiful of Alys to send these books from Alaska; she knows what she is doing; Gerry likes picture books and romance mysteries.

She adores Zinnia; the two are excellent friends. Sometimes we bring a book or two and sit with her for a bit; she leans over and scratches Zinnia, who rolls over on her back to her belly rubbed.

I’m returning to the Mansion next Wednesday; I’ll get tested on  Friday. It will be more than ten days since I first got sick. I look forward to sitting with Gerry and Zinnia a bit. There is nothing more healing than doing some good.