At the Mansion Meditation class this morning, the topic I chose to talk about and meditate over was “Creating New And Joyous Memories: Is It Possible?” at the edge of life.

As people grow older, I said, they forget many things; they mostly remember beautiful memories like Thanksgiving or Christmas with their families.

When I ask the Mansion residents about memories, they are almost always in the distant past – lost siblings, parents, friends, pets, work, and family. I wanted to encourage them to think about the possibility of making new memories that are joyful and uplifting as well as old ones.

I thought it a strong subject to meditate on.

The residents at the table all nodded; they remember many things with joy, gratitude, sadness, and anger.

But most of their joyous memories are from the distant past, and they and their memories are getting older and older.

But their lives are often rich and full.

Can we do better, I wondered? Can we have good news and beautiful memories that give us joy even now, late in life, living in assisted care, surrounded by people we hardly know?

I said I knew this was difficult, but I also reminded them that I am almost 75 years old and feel many of the things they sometimes feel. I try hard to focus on positive and joyful memories – my garden, my blog, my friends, and my work.

“Many of you,” I said, “tell me you are here in assisted care by choice and that you like being here. I wonder if there are not already beautiful memories about friendship and caring – about being in this room right now, making new friends, and loving the aides – that could grow into beautiful memories. Just an idea.”

The idea seemed to go well. We all agreed to bring some joyous memories to the next meditation. We’ll each try to come up with one. I suggested we think about it today as we meditated unless there was something else they wanted to meditate about, which was fine.

The residents often talk to me about their future, that this is not likely their last home in life, and that they won’t die at the Mansion.

When they get too sick to be at the Mansion, they will be transformed into nursing homes. The residents call nursing homes the place of no return. Usually, they disappear and are not heard from again.

For a volunteer like me, that is the hardest part to deal with. People are just sometimes gone.

But people are often at the Mansion for many years; they go on shopping trips, visit friends, take walks, sit on the porch, make art, read and watch TV, listen to music, pray together.

They see their friends at breakfast, lunch, and dinner and are alone when they want to be.

Help is just a button away.

I asked for ideas about making new and happy memories to remember from the present, not just the past. One person said she took a boat ride last year, which was a happy memory. Another said she made a new friend at breakfast.

Another said she won a ribbon for a painting she did in Manson art class.

This seemed to strike a real chord with them; they were talking about new and happy memories before long. A good thing to meditate on, I said.

I read this quote from Henri Nouwen: “Today fast-food services and TV dinners have made common meals less and less central. But what will there be to remember when we no longer come together around the table to share a meal? Maybe we will have fewer painful memories, but will we have joyful ones? Can we make the table a hospitable place, inviting us to kindness, gentleness, joy and peace, and the creating of beautiful memories?”

I said that dinner at the Mansion is a time of coming together as a community. I wonder if anyone at the table saw it as the chance to build some happy memories?

Almost everyone said they would try it; they always thought memories were of lost things that could never be recovered, not new things they could make in their lives.