The news about Roe-Wade numbs me and disheartens me. I knew it was coming, but seeing those big headlines breaks my heart.
There seems no end to the conflict, argument, hatred, and division. I feel that the country I grew up with is breaking apart, one piece after another, and more and more, in the angriest, cruelest, and often most dishonest way.
It’s not my place here today to argue the merits of what the Supreme Court did today; I would have much preferred to see a national referendum on abortion than a few older men’s decision made in secret that affects so many women’s lives.
There are plenty of places to go for an argument. There are not as many places to go for comfort and safety. I want this to be one of them, and I will continue struggling to do that. But sometimes I have to speak. I can’t just pretend it didn’t happen and post pretty photos of donkeys.
Many people are rejoicing the decision; many are mourning it and are terrified by it. We are in a testing time. Instead of working to lead and unify us, the government is increasingly about dividing and frightening us.
This decision strikes me in the gut, and I need to step back and process it. I have never felt that people like me – especially men like me – have the right to tell women how and when to give birth. It feels medieval to me, a giant step backward in many ways.
I also understand that many millions have fought long and hard for this moment, and they feel just as deeply about it as I do. I’ll do my best to listen and understand. In the short run, the anger and division in the country will grow worse and more bitter. Just what we did not need now.
Most of all, I think of the women who are the victims of rape and incest who may be forced to bring children into the world they never asked for and do not want. As the father of a woman, I can’t get them out of my mind. Nothing about my notions of freedom makes this all right to rationalize.
It’s difficult for me to be silent about that.
Something new, something different, something disturbing is happening in our country. It seems to me beyond cruel and insensitive. When judges and governors and lawmakers gleefully and proudly dismiss the feelings and needs of so many citizens and refuse to even consider them, we are in a new and different place.
I don’t want my life – or my blog – to be the source of additional argument, resentment, and hatred; those feelings are becoming more difficult to escape. I don’t want to hide, and I don’t want to be contributing to the anger. Sounds like an Orwellian dilemma, a Catch-22.
So I have to think more about it and how to remain positive and continue the work of the Army Of Good to do good in a world that sometimes seems to be being turned upside down. This is a safe place.
The young women I know are furious about this decision, and it will fall mainly on their shoulders and their generation to respond.
I have the feeling that they will, that this is a grave mistake for the people who are proclaiming a great victory.
Enough said I’m called to a quiet afternoon of listening, thinking, and perhaps meditating. I don’t feel like taking pictures or writing uplifting things today. I hate feeling this way.
My heart goes to the women of the country who feel their freedom has been taken from them and that they are in peril.
I’m not in peril.
So I need to be thinking about you.
I am saddened and angry that my daughters and granddaughters now have less rights than I grew up with. And the extreme among us will not be satisfied until they take away many more . Listening to Supreme Court justice Thomas he has just said other decisions could be argued – same sex marriage, birth control, even consensual sex among adults.
We could find ourselves going backwards at 100 mph.
VOTING MATTERS AND ELECTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES.
But don’t worry white , straight, gun carrying men. Your rights are safe….
Thanks Pamela, voting does matter…
I feel that the debate over abortion is impossible to solve. to me the best pratical choice is pro-choise. If you don’t believe in it, then don’t and if you do then do. I’m afraid we are going to see an increase in child abuse, rape, and death. People who do not want, are capable of or have the means will now be forced to have children. I expect to see an increase in women dying due to lack of choice.
Like you Jon, this doesn’t directly affect me. I’m no longer of child bearing age. But I do feel a sense of loss, as if women have been transported back to another place and time with less freedom and autonomy. Here in Wisconsin, we will revert back to the 1849 abortion laws that are still in the books. They make no concessions for rape or incest. Our Democratic governor tried to call a special legislative session to overturn this antiquated law but was immediately gaveled out by our Republican legislature. I agree this change in Roe v. Wade will do nothing to unite this country. The January 6 hearings show how close we really came to losing our democracy. We keep hearing how we need to protect the second amendment. Sometimes I think we care more about protecting laws than we do people. Aren’t laws made to help and protect us in the first place? I’m trying to feel optimistic about where this country is headed but sometimes it’s just so hard.
Thank you, Jon
And yet you will continue to support a Catholic school.
Yes, I certainly will. The refugee children are not political and do not deserve to be punished or deprived because of a court ruling they know nothing about and had no role in supporting. There isn’t a religion on the earth that only does things I agree with, that does not govern my notions of compassion to children.
What’s wrong with RISSE? They’re in Albany.
I’m not sure what the question is, RISSE does a lot of good work. I did work with them for a couple of years. But I don’t work with every refugee group in Albany, I work with Bishop Maginn High School, not Bishop Gibbons. They have a very strong refugee support program and it works out well for me. If you’re interested in RISSE, go work with them.
I couldn’t reply to your reply to me, but I thought Bishop Maginn was now closed, and the students transferred to Bishop Gibbons? I just thought you could help refugees through RISSE and bypass the anti-choice catholic church.
Chloe, if you want to follow the story, read the blog.
I’ve been writing about the shift to Bishop Gibbons for weeks, and I can’t repeat it all for you here.
I’m not interested in bypassing the Catholic Church. The Church does wonderful work with these refugee families, work no one else has come close to doing, and I am happy to work with the wonderful teachers and social workers in that program.
There are plenty of things I disagreed with at RISSE. So what? In a democracy, that’s how it works. I’m shifting to Bishop Gibbons and they are welcoming me and the work we do.
I can’t imagine a religion that I never disagreed with, and unlike some, the people I disagree with are not my enemies. I help the refugee families in the best way I can find, and we’ve done a great deal of good working with Bishop Maginn, and now, Bishop Gibbons. I’m very much looking forward to it. I hope you’re not suggesting I abandon these children because of church policies I don’t like.
That will never happen, jon
You’re not only the father of a woman, but the grandfather of a woman-to-be. I’m thinking about all the little girls who will? may? now grow up in a country where they will have less bodily autonomy than their grandmothers. Not a happy thought. But some of us fought this fight 50 years ago, so I guess it’s daughters’ and granddaughters’ turn. And so on and so on and world without end …
Yes, I think I have to fight for them..
Thank you for your thoughtful post.
I, too, was stunned this morning and my heart has pounded all day. Your words are so true and express what I’m feeling.
I continue to admire your appreciation and understanding of women and always consider you a friend. We’re the same age so we know how far we’ve come growing up in the decades long before this. I wonder, as well, how we got to this place.
I don’t consider the Catholic School an issue. Your explanation of religion is accurate. Compassion toward children is an absolute.
Thank you for giving me a bit of calm today.
THank you Laura, that means a lot…
thank you for a well written piece, Jon. It is a very sad day for me today along with so many other people. Something that was so hard fought for…….to be stripped away. A *human* and individual right, as I see it, now gone in most states. And yes, yet another issue to divide us and bring even more discord. Makes me want to weep
Susan M
Yes to guns, no to human rights. Yikes. We must express ourselves at the ballot box, and any peaceful way we can. The arguments used to justify this decision were really weak. Abortion wasn’t mentioned in the constitution? Neither were appendectomies. Or AR15s. And for those upset at you for doing work with the Catholic school, I heard just today that the majority of Catholics are pro-choice. I used to teach in a lay Catholic school ( I’m not a Catholic.) Good people, even if I didn’t agree with them on some things. Keep up the good work Jon. Good post today. Thanks.
It makes me dislike Trump and his flunkies even more. These are very difficult times for anyone who loves liberty.
Couple things to do in the meantime
1. Donate to this (and research others) group funding the procedure, TRAVEL costs/food shelter, covering Cost of childcare at home: https://abortionfunds.org/need-abortion/
2. Don’t buy products from states that prohibit or about to prohibit abortion. Write to the seller and ask where they are located and tell them why. Most state have a gov “business search” type site.
3. The Red Wine & Blue org of suburban activists are just gearing up. Watch them and support where you can.
My daughter and I were watching a movie last night that took place in the early to late 60’s. She mentioned wishing she could go back to that time. I felt so sorry for her and all the young people growing up in these times. Throughout my son and daughter’s lives I’ve stopped and wondered how hard this world is for them to navigate through and I was the one responsible for bringing them into it! I can’t imagine now why anyone would want to bring children into this current, troubled world. It’s so hard as a parent to see their innocence get taken away piece by piece.
The children born today are coming to help bring us into a better world of higher human consciousness. Let’s support them.
Kavanaugh and Thomas, two accused sexual predators, vote to take away the rights of women.
Typical Republican bullshit!