The assaults on me yesterday from women who claim to be feminists were disturbing and also revealing.
They give us a great deal to ponder about writing, privilege, and the widening divide between urban and rural America that is tearing the country apart. This blog is about many things. One of them is thinking, not just reacting. So here goes.
Farmgirlgate, as I call it now, offers a learning experience about elitism, cruelty, and arrogance.
There are consequences to the new reality: and we are forgetting how to do it in real life. All we learn is how to hate and argue.
If you want to understand why so many rural people have come to hate the very “educated” elitists who mostly live in urban areas, it is worth reading about the controversy that erupted over the weekend when a farm girl grown into adulthood used her farm experience to start her own business and called herself a “farm girl.”
I quoted her in a story about her remarkable success and was accused of assaulting women, sexism, privilege, and patronizing women.
It touched off quite a storm; even by the chaotic standards of social media, the debate went on for hours. I don’t regret it.
First, I should say that the term “girl” has often been used to demean and trivialize women, something I am well aware of. I never refer to adult women as “girls,” or adult males as “boys.”
One would have to be stupid as well as bigoted to do that. I do call my wife “My Girl” as a term of endearment and was also attacked for that, a gross violation both of privacy and decency.
Here in the country where I live, the term “farm girl” is not seen as demeaning or sexist. Some elements of the progressive movement are drifting towards fascism now, telling people what to say and how to feel. They appear to have learned this from the other side, a horrible trait to embrace.
The idea of the farm girls is neither sexist nor patronizing.
It is quite the opposite. Women who grew up on farms are proud of their hard work, the animals they learned to control, the lifelong friends they made, the communities they formed, and the contributions they made to their parents’ hard work.
Last night, I was flooded with “farm girls” messages from all over the country and of all ages; they were hurt by and resented the so-called feminist assaults on their identity and hard work. They resented being told how to refer to themselves by people who had obviously never come near a farm.
Those attacks, they said, not words, demeaned them and their lives and trivialized their work. It all started when I quoted our dog groomer, who told me that her life as a farm girl brought her to the love of animals and her new career as a groomer.
The anger and nasty letters came in a wave. They all described me as some sexist monster, uncaring and typical.
(Kiley, the young farm girl who grew up to start a dog grooming business)
This weekend illustrated the cruel nature of elitism and the ignorance and arrogance underlying many of the bitter arguments ravaging our country.
As someone who has always considered himself a progressive, I see with sadness that many elements of the progressive movement, battered by years of failure and frustration, are becoming what they say they hate – cruel, insulting, self-righteous, and ignorant.
That is not bringing enlightenment or compassion, just more hate.
I wanted to share this message with an articulate 82-year-old woman and blog reader named Harriet Rodgers. I got scores of letters like it, which speaks about the meaning of words like “farm girl” in the country. It eloquently explains a different point of view.
Harriet wrote: “I will be 82 next month, and I’m still a “farm girl.” I no longer live on a farm (I haven’t since 1961 when I took a teaching job in “downstate.”
NY and later moved to California.) I had no problem with
your original posting.
To conflate your use of “farm girl” with the sexist use of “girl” is
quite a stretch. Your detractors don’t have a clue what “farm girl.”
meant in the context of your writing; they are showing their ignorance.
Go ahead — tell them to F—- off, with my blessing!!
In conversation, I may say, “Well, I’m a farm girl from upstate New
York.” Clearly, I’m a grown woman. At my age, being a “farm girl.”
explains a specific upbringing in the 40s and 50s as the country
endured and recovered from the war. We grew up performing physical
labor from the time we knew what a chicken was. If we had cows or goats,
we milked them, fed them, and said goodbye to them at some point. We
weeded the garden, and we juggled school, 4-H, and farm chores (not
softball practice and ballet!). “Farm girl” (or “farm boy” for that
matter) describes a relationship with the land and animals that many
people cannot understand.
For me, it is also something of a “state of mind” — influencing how I
relate to life today.
Your blog is often thought-provoking and always engaging — Thank You”,
-Harriett Rodgers.
___
Thank you, Harriett. You have beautifully explained how elitism works.
Soon after, I got this message from Kathryn, who showed no signs of being familiar with my work or a blog reader. It was odd to get this message since I agree with every word she wrote; I’m sorry she felt I needed to hear it, even though everybody could benefit from hearing it:”
___
Kathryn: “Interesting, Jon. I’m not going to tell you what you and Maria should call each other; after all, my niece and her long-term boyfriend, for whatever reason, call each other beastie. My issue is with the general use of the word girl in our culture for women. Women are adults; girls are female children. So, it bothers me when we talk about girls in the office, for example. I would like to be acknowledged as an adult in the general sphere as I am 71 and haven’t been a girl for a very long time. I don’t see using the word my in my girl in the context written about as negative; it’s the same as saying my family, my friend, my co-worker, or my wife.”
___
This is all true Kathryn, and I know this and practice it. You are preaching to the choir here. I never call adult women, girls, or adult men “boys,” and if you read my blog, you would know that. I’ve never done that. I doubt very much that my readers do it either.
Your message is correct but irrelevant and off the point.
Harriett and Kiley, the groomer, have the right to use whatever words they wish to describe themselves, and they are proud of the term “farm girls” and very often “farm wives.” It seems that on these farms, they were vital and valued.
They gained enormous strength and confidence to control large animals, work alongside their father and brothers and join the strong youth communities like 4-H that cluster around farms. I see that this is still true. Rather than be trivialized, they are strengthened.
I’ve seen these girls (and boys) sleeping alongside their cows all night at county fairs to keep them company, and I’ve seen them work for months, compete and win ribbons for their farms and family.
It is important to know when you consider how urban and suburban children live these days, spending most of their leisure time on Facebook, Tik-Tok, or Instagram. They rarely leave their computers.
To denigrate the term “farm girls” is to criticize their lives and convince these women, adults, and children, that we people who call ourselves liberals and progressives are just more elitists telling them how to live and suggesting they are weak and dominated or dumb.
And there was this latter from Maureen, which made me proud of what I do and determined to argue civility, honesty, and reality. This is the kind of letter that makes me proud.
____
“Oh, Jon. Dear, dear man. You are such an extraordinary human being. I admire you from so many perspectives (I’m a psychotherapist, a journalist, a small farm owner, and an environmental and political activist). It’s distressing when the haters trigger you into a defensive stance. Please refuse to engage. These disturbed people can never negate your journey, the grace and love and generosity you lavish on your world, and the profundity of your hard-earned wisdom. I’m glad you can fight back, but why waste your time?
Speaking as a reporter, I can’t believe how much well-thought-out copy you can crank out in one day, Jon, especially with everything else you have going on.
Continue to take good care of you and Maria, and I hope your health issues are quickly resolved.
With respect and affection,
Maureen.”
__
Thanks, Maureen, and respect and affection back to you. My health issues are being resolved; my virus is fading away.
I am almost back to normal, and I think this struggle was energizing and healthy for me.
You are very kind, and I am blushing a bit as I do when I am praised.
I mainly don’t engage, Maureen, not anymore (you should see what I delete), but one of my new role models is Liz Cheney, someone I have very rarely agreed with but have come to respect.
There is so much hatred and ignorance and argument in our world; I think there are times when I need to stand up and say “enough” and challenge the idea that cruelty and lies are now just normal, as the slaughter of children in their classrooms.
I don’t want it to be normal, and I don’t want to be fighting all the time. It’s a difficult balancing act.
But once in a while – this is one of the times – I needed to stand up and call out the angry messages of these disturbed and broken people. They do a lot of harm. They frighten people, bully them, silence them and force them to hide.
Calling them out is a selfish thing. I do it to make myself feel good.
I can’t do the finger in the dike thing; I can’t dam up this river of poison and toxic horseshit, as I like to call it.
Still, I couldn’t sleep if I didn’t take it on once in a while, and the many messages thanking me for this stance this weekend have lifted me and reminded me yet again that there are good people in the world, and they will fight for what is right.
That’s why I engage, but tomorrow will return to my ambition to make this blog a safe place to think, look at pretty photos, see some animals and view the world with hope.
I hope this explains it; I loved your message to me. I hope our paths cross one day.
Well, I enjoyed the original post and it never occurred to me that there was anything controversial about it. Maybe it takes more imagination than I possess to find something offensive in that article. So be it if it allows me to live more peacefully. I’ve never lived on a farm but greatly admire those who do. Where else would we get our food?
Thanks, Florence, for your goodwill. This, sadly, is America today. We have to live with it.
Hi Florence, I felt the same way when I read the original post. Why, when there are so many better things to annoy folks, do some go out of their way to be offended? All I can say is that must be a miserable existence.
You did not quote Kiley calling herself a farm girl; you described her as such. Your ability to change your story to suit your immediate needs is staggeringly dishonest. First you said that you were only describing Kiley as a child, not Kiley currently. Then, after receiving a few notes from self-described adult “farm girls,” you decided that, actually, you were merely describing Kiley as she described herself. This is very similar to the time when you were called out for saying “diabetes 2” instead of “Type 2 Diabetes” (something you had previously done over and over in your blog) and you argued that you did it because that’s how the young man in question spoke about his disease. You are intellectually dishonest.
This post is pointless and clumsily offensive as well as dishonest. I won’t give you the time of day by responding to it, and what I call my diabetes is not your business. Please go somewhere else and waste somebody else’s time. This isn’t worth a minute of mine. It’s true, sometimes you just have to not engage.
Girl, you need to get a life away from the keyboard.
Jennifer H.
Jon once said he taught journalism at NYU. We called them for verification. He did not. Never heard of him. No one with his writing could be a journalist for any reputable publication. He tries to cover by saying it’s dyslexia but his errors don’t derive from dyslexia.
He is dishonest but humorous like Falstaff.
Very sloppy research Brittany, and dumb.
I taught journalism for five years as a full-time adjunct professor at NYU while I was a media critic for Rolling Stone and the Freedom Foundation. Wrote about it, gave speeches, wrote books from there (and went on book tours during that time), published articles from there, went to a lot of faculty meetings, edited lots of papers, and met tons of great kids, many of whom I’m still in touch with.
Faculty meetings are just as bad as they are rumored to be, and the students are just as excellent as I expected them to be. We helped many gifted young women (and men) get jobs in journalism when it was not easy.
Welcome to the land of the creepy and the vicious, the Big Lie; you should be ashamed of yourself for spreading lies like that; you’re in sync with the haters of the time. There seems to be no shame in lying anymore.
I suppose all lies are vicious, but this one is exceedingly vile. I loved teaching (still do) and was good at it and proud of my time there. I could not have been more public, and you need to learn that Google doesn’t find everything and isn’t actual research. That takes some work and thought.
The truth is one e-mail or phone call away. I checked. What made you think you could get away with a lie like that?
And what is this burr up your ass about Falstaff, one of my favorite Shakespearean characters? He might inspire a sense of humor in you if there’s any left. I wish I could have put a Fallstleaffean character in one of my books; it’s humbling to read Shakespeare, even if you use to misuse the great playwright to be cruel.
Tell us what books you’ve written lately.
Brittany, if you’re going to slander somebody, you should take more care to at least come close to reality. And this is so simple to check!
Be careful; this fits easily into the legal definition of defamation. You never had a teacher who taught you that lying is wrong. I told my students that every day, it was the most important lesson.
Social media makes lying free and easy; there are no consequences, and no one is held accountable.
I can wager that you won’t apologize for lying or feel bad about it. You don’t have to love Trump to love Trumpism.
I reluctantly left teaching to write books and return to journalism because I didn’t have a college degree and didn’t want to get one. I like blogging best, even after writing 26 books.
I’m very grateful to then-chair Terri Brooks for giving me the chance to teach. It was a great experience in my life, those students were terrific, and so many are working in media and writing. I love their Christmas cards.
If you want to smear me, Brittany, e-mail me, I can steer you to much better stuff than that, and it’s real. You probably won’t like it, because it’s all true. Lies live a long time, and truth struggles for attention.
You can’t say anything terrible about me that I haven’t expressed myself or written about. I’m not running for Saint, thank God. And who’s “we,” Brittany, the National Coalition of Social Media Liars? You mean it took more than one person to screw up a smear so badly? Where are they hiding?
This is liberating; I have nothing to fear from people like you who lie so effortlessly and enthusiastically, all in the name of virtue. There are a lot worse things in the world than writing about farm girls Brittany, people who tell lies like yours are near the top of the list.
Brittany, reading this over, I do want to thank you for one thing. You have reminded me to be grateful that I could never write such an intentionally hurtful and dishonest thing to someone because they saw the world differently than I do. I pray I never intend to be so cruel and false. It’s a call to do better.
Your Big Lie goes beyond this argument about two words, which is sobering. Thank you for reminding me I need to work to be human constantly.
My goodness, people do find the most ridiculous things to get their knickers in a knot, don’t they? I think of myself as a feminist and I found absolutely nothing offensive in your post about the wonderful pet groomer that you took Zinnia to. I’m going to totally pass on the “farm girl” controversy and want to address my comments to anyone who had the nerve to criticize you for taking Zinnia to a groomer instead of grooming her yourself. The groomer has chosen a profession that she loves to support herself. Who do these people think they are to tell her clients that they shouldn’t use her services? Not all of us dog owners can afford the time or the effort to do a thorough job of grooming our dogs. Yes, they probably get combed and brushed at home, but to do a “deep cleaning” is a hard job. Just like I periodically go to a salon to get my hair cut (I live by myself and don’t have a live-in barber), I periodically take my 60-pound Airedale to a groomer to get completely bathed and tidied. In doing so, I not only take good care of my dog, but I help support a small business owner who is working in an honorable profession.
I find it interesting, the folks who were not ‘triggered’ by original post…are ‘triggered’ by the folks calling out a commonly used phrase and shining a different light upon it. Being sensitive and/or offended by what other people write or say is not a progressive, or ‘woke'(whatever the hell that means) or ‘urban’ thing…it’s a human thing, and we all do it. Right, Left, Urban or Country, I’ve lived ’em all, no group is immune.
The attacks on your lovely original post (and oh how I need such a magical groomer for my dogs) are elitest and confirm the grievances that many Americans expressed at the polls in 2016.
Those grievances are exploited by politicians and corporations alike, and progressives who decry prejudice and seek inclusion allow that exploitation to continue.
Your writing is often a potential bridge across the cultural divide, if only we could get more leaders to cross it.
My only thought was why only one dog of three got to go to the groomer..?? I’m from the same area you live so maybe the description of young women didn’t phase me a bit…
KK, there are some things you will never know…
I am 35 years old. I grew up on a dairy farm and now have a sheep farm. I would not want anyone to call me a “farm girl”; that is definitely offensive and demeaning to me. I am a farmer, or a woman living on a farm, or a woman who grew up on a farm. But I am a millennial, and most people who think “farm girl” is appropriate are much older than I am. I know you meant no harm, even though I don’t want to be labelled as a girl.
Gaby, you can call yourself anything you want, and so can Kiley or anyone else. I don’t tell other people who they are and call them offensive and demeaning if they disagree.
Kiley is a strong and impressive person, and you demean her with your insensitive and authoritarian comments more than any label.She hasn’t asked you to define her, and it is not your right. It is cruel and insensitive.
That is the sickness that is as toxic as a pandemic, and it is tearing our country apart and doing nothing for the rights of women in my view. Your ageist remark is offensive all its own. I don’t just people’s opinions by their age either, even yours.
Kiley didn’t ask you to define her, either. I bet she’s not real pleased to be associated online with someone as nasty as you can be.
Another person who claims to speak for “most people.” Yuk. How narrow a view.
Friends, it’s time to move on. Everybody had their say, and I’ve got other things to do and write about, as I’m sure you all do. I thank you for your comments, especially those that remained civil and resisted name-calling, accusations, and insult. I learned a few things and got some things to think about, and I hope you did also.
Kiley didn’t ask you to define her, either. I bet she’s not real pleased to be associated online with someone as nasty as you can be.
L0L grew up on a farm, in farm country. and am glad I got to live that experience, wouldn’t trade it for all the tea in China.
My success in business was because I was used to large farm animals and no executive VP could kick as hard as a cow, and no college courses taught how to deal with bullheaded supervisors. Sorry you are still embarrassed about it. I am still a fierce farm grrl
Thanks for the message, Rachel, I don’t know where you got the idea I am embarrassed about enthusiastically leaving college to go to work, it was one of the best decisions of my life, and I mention it often to be honest, not embarrassed. I feel about it just the way you do, and I believe very much in college. It just wasn’t for me at the time. I don’t believe any employer ever even asked me about it. Best Jon
Maureen should have given that advice to Trump.
Jon, you stated in your last paragraph that your ambition was to make your blog (yes…..YOUR blog). a safe place. I think you have taken great pains (over the many years of my reading it) to MAKE it a safe place already. To me, it is sad that you feel that you should be trying harder? I am absolutely dumbstruck (one of my favorite words)…..that so much judgement, ire, and negativity has appeared………over just a two word phrase. I am flummoxed (another favorite word). For me……..there are WAY bigger fish to fry………. as the saying goes…….*pick your battles*………..but I just don’t get what has happened here the past 2 days. Keep doing the wonderful writing you do!
Susan M
You are spending to much of your time letting what people write get to you. You are responding in a cantankerous way.
Part of the kindness you speak of includes acknowledging that people’s feelings, especially when based on their lived experience, are valid (even if you haven’t shared those experiences or agreed with their conclusions about them). It feels like the only conclusion here is that some women feel diminished or belittled by the use of the term girl (or variations such as “farmgirl”) in application to any woman; some women have different experiences and are instead proud of the designation. Neither is wrong; they reflect different experiences. You could have used that perspective to decide what you will do moving forward, honoring that woman have different experiences and therefore different feelings about this. Instead, you feel attacked and, as a man, decree that the term, “…is neither sexist nor patronizing.” As a man. Extrordinary! A person who has NO lived experience of being called either a “girl” or a “farmgirl” finds himself perfectly qualified to decide on behalf of all woman how they should experience these terms. All while couching it in language that accuses women–women!–of being polarizing and unkind. You’ve just presented the perfect example of the sort of social media interaction you say distresses you. It starts with you, Jon. You’re reaping the unkindness you sow.
Jon will never, ever acknowledged this, Terry. He does not possess that ability.
I’m not sure how to reply to you Carrie, except in this way.
I am respectful to anyone who treats me with respect and doesn’t begin conversations with lying about me, calling me middle school yard names and speaking without what I consider hatefulness, rudeness, dishonesty and hostility. Try it, if you can talk to me in a clear, civil,y and respectful way without calling me any names, we can have a good conversation, I love arguing with people in good faith.
If you call me a liar and woman-hater and begin there without knowing one thing about me, I’m not going to listen to anything you or anyone else says, and I consider it my moral duty to reject and challenge that behavior, I sincerely believe people like you are damaging our democracy and needlessly cruel.
All my life, I have changed and listened over and over again, if you knew one thing about me, you would know that. I’m quite known for it.
The idea that I can never listen to or accept a new or difficult idea is yet another lie, just like the one above about my teaching at NYU or the suggestion that I get off on assaulting women in my writing. Another Big Lie.
I don’t engage with haters or liers, so you’re off to a bad start. When I do, it’s almost always a mistake.
You don’t know anything about me, you just blow it right out of your ass, your knee is jerking so badly it’s hitting you in the head. I have an awful lot of women friends and readers, and we rarely have this kind of trouble.
If you have the guts and moral decency to try that approach, go ahead. I’ll be happy to speak with you. If you want to do it privately, my e-mail is [email protected]. I do it all the time. I enjoy it, it makes me better. I hope this answers your statement, I tried. Best, Jon. Why do I know that I’ll never hear from you? Because I suspect you’re much more into hating than communicating or truth. And you’re on those fierce social media trolls who are only tough behind a computer or phone screen.
Another self-appointed Katz authority on what I can possess and do and what ability I can never possess, another expert who has never met me, spoken with me, written to me, or shown any kind of actual curiosity about my life. Without curiosity, we are all left ignorant I’m afraid. What’s left are lies.
Terry, you deserve an answer, even though you don’t seem to know how to communicate in good faith.
You are correct in that I am definitely attracting – and reflecting – what I say I do most dislike (hypocrisy, yes), and that certainly raises questions about me that I need to consider. I find your sweeping assumptions about me and your broad and blanket and sexist condemnations of men offensive and off-putting. Being sexist isn’t, in my humble opinion, the best response to sexism. It just makes more enemies for the women’s movement.
As you condemn my thinking, you are the perfect embodiment of the closed mind, devoid of curiosity or sincerity. You don’t really want to talk to me, you’re just pretending while posturing for some other audience. You want to give a speech, not talk or listen. You are a waste of time.
You speak as if you know me, but you have never met or spoken with me and know absolutely nothing about me, good or bad. Since you know nothing about me, I become just a cardboard character, an easy target about which you can project anything you want.
I’m not nearly real. The piece about my sins and evil feels staged and fake because it is, you have no anecdote or example or knowledge to support all this bullshit, you are just writing a standard all-men-are-pigs diatribe to the delight and cheering of your buddies.
Since you have no idea who or what I really am, there is no warmth or power or humanity to your words. Just a dull and standard speech full of cliches and indignation. In your message, I’m nothing but a cardboard figure, your any man to hate. I might be much worse than you suggest no if that is possible. How would you know?
Curiosity, along with empathy, is the two traits I respect the most, you seem in your message devoid of either.
I don’t do well with people, male or women, who began conversations by faux analysis of me – I have a great therapist and she found your message hostile and self-righteous – and rife with shallow assumptions. She doesn’t want to talk to you, she said, she wants to hate you.
Don’t engage.
I agree with her. You have no knowledge of my experience in life, good or bad, and you are too lazy and puffed up with yourself to ask. You are quite correct in pointing out my failure to do better than many of the people attacking me for using two words that offend and trouble some of you.
It’s something I need to work on. There are real issues in this argument, but you mention none of them, you just can’t get past attacking, it seems to be your thing, not persuasion.
I should warn you that I don’t tell pity stories and I don’t have much patience for them. We all suffer in this world at one time or another. It’s not a grievance contest. I don’t want people to feel sorry for me, and I won’t feel sorry for you if that’s what you are seeking.
But I would be happy to talk with you if it could lead to something other than name-calling.
I don’t know how you dare to say what my experience in life is without knowing one thing about it. Doesn’t that embarrass you? I know nothing about you beyond your message, I can’t imagine analyzing you from this distance. You deserve better and so do I.
Why on earth would I want to listen to you?
Having said that I really dislike people who write like you (I’m hoping this is not how you speak to the people in your life), and I need to be more patient, I will also be honest: I found your tone obnoxious and over-the-top arrogant and most self-righteous.
And you lecture me on hostility on social media? If I am the monster, people like you created me.
You feel free to offend me in a dozen different ways and then are outraged and condemn me for defending myself. I don’t accept your argument that I’m just another man numbed wy white privilege who couldn’t possibly understand how you have suffered. I can only tell you that is a shallow and mindless statement to make to a complete stranger, about who you know absolutely nothing.
If you wish to have a civil conversation with me a/k/a a real one – you seem quite bright – I’d be happy to try it, but in order to have one, you will have to take your self-pitying and self-righteous mask off and talk to me as one human being to another, not as yet another outraged and aggrieved victim who whose idea of a conversation is a rude, knee-jerk assault and sexist condemnation of a species.
That’s just the new socially acceptable bigotry.
My e-mail is [email protected], lots of people e-mail me to talk to me rather than shout at me. We have some great and useful conversations. I learn a lot from them. I love arguing and talking with people in good faith, I do it all the time.
If you are not just another knee-jerk bloviator, you’ll give it a try. Anytime. I know some people would like to keep this going forever, but I’m moving on, I have other things to write and other things to do. I think this discussion is important and I’m glad we did it, painful though it was. But it’s really of small significance to a troubled and burning world.
Some people are still thoughtful and courteous and I value talking to them. I hope you are more thoughtful than your message. Hope to hear from you, Terry, but am not holding my breath, Jon. P.S. I don’t want to waste your time, I won’t be posting here again or accepting any more messages. This has gone way overboard as it is.
Since it doesn’t fit into your narrative, you seem not to know that I have received much more praise her than condemnation. Sometimes it’s hard to deal with delusion hiding behind rage.
Cowboys and cowgirls are proud of their monickers
I’m sorry that you feel that I’m not a blog reader (making assumptions Jon?) I felt (my perspective) that my thoughts are unwelcome. I didn’t say that you use the term girl in ways that bother me, I was just explaining how I see things.
No need to respond.
Thanks for doing that Kathryn, I appreciate your honesty and thoughtfulness.
I’m one generation removed from the farm. “Farm Family” and “Farm girl” and all the other “Farm [—-]” adjectives mean the same thing, to me. They’re descriptors of people who are organized, experienced, hard working, goal oriented, competent, able, sharp.
Picture one of my aunts who ran the “house” for herself, her husband, 4 kids, two hired hands, and also fed her brother in law and took cooked food to her inlaws. The food she cooked came out of the garden she tended, or grew up in the barn, except ham and sausage. My uncle was equally busy taking care of the farms, developing a prize herd of dairy cattle, and probably a whole lot more.
“farm girl” — if you know one, treasure her friendship. (or don’t be surprised if she’s the dog groomer you want)
I consider myself a progressive as well, but am a farm girl. I grew up working in all aspects of my family’s dairy farm. There was a strong sentiment against ignorant “city people” in my family. I went to college and became a city person, but was still a farm girl with all my skills and knowledge.
In the city, I became aware of the prejudice against farm people- how city people viewed farm people as ignorant, and realize my family’s views were a defense against that. The divide has grown more entrenched. I live in the country now and am seen as a city interloper, even though I am more of a real “farm girl” skill-wise than most of the people talking down to me.
I sometimes struggle to fit in as a progressive because of the attitude against rural people. But I also don’t fit in with conservatives because of my views. It’s horrifying how we treat other people in general over something as simple as a piece of language or where we live.
Oh my God, these people are just pathetic! Jon, I dont know how you can even stand it. It was a lovely article about a new dog groomer in our area. The end!!!!!!!
I felt good about the weekend Mary, thanks for your message. I think the trolls need to be challenged once in a while. I won’t do it often, but this one was irresistible, and pathetic is the right word. Thanks for hanging in there, we are back to the same place, they have gone running off to some other poor sap. They never hang around for long.