A spiritual author – I can’t recall the name – wrote once that some people will hate you if you live your life and fill it with meaning, love, and passion.
He said they would hate you because their lives are not filled with people they love or meaning, and they will hate you for reminding them. This is true; I think compassion and empathy have become dirty words in our culture.
Hatred is not enough; you have to stand for something else. I think about this when I get those messages meant only to hurt. And I have come to see that most of them are because I am finding meaning and usefulness at a time of life when many people have been manipulated and persuaded to give up on life.
It’s not as simple as that. I have deserved many criticisms, but there is a new toxic, and angry cruelty in the country; the Internet and social media have unleashed a great deal of it. But there is much to learn from the idea, and there is a difference between criticism and disagreement and hatred, although we are losing the boundaries between them in our country.
The Senators can’t just disagree with an obviously accomplished, honest, and decent Supreme Court Justice nominee; they must also hate her and prove themselves by being hateful and, if necessary, lying. When our leaders do that, what is the message for everyone else?.
The Internet and social media have also unleashed a great deal of connection, community, and support. The rise of both elements – support and cruelty – is often confusing to me, a former book writer who spent more than 40 years working alone in basements and cabins and farms.
I didn’t know or care what anybody thought of me; I was free to be myself. Creative people know how important that is. In our world, countless strangers are always telling me who I am and what to do and think and say. And there is hatred in some of those messages, for sure.
Creativity is all about this, and I am finding my bearings again in this sea of intrusion and unfettered opinion.
Nobody could reach me for most of my creative life, and now everyone can. For me, this has meant a call to humanity. For every nasty thing I see, read or hear about, I am more and more resolved to respond by doing some good and having real meaning in my life,
This, I see, is possible at any age, more possible than ever as we age and learn and find ourselves. Unconsciously, I almost gave my life to the idea the other day.
Two days ago, I was driving on Route 68 and decided to take a photo of a big sky with no clouds and capture one of those beautiful rural landscapes that are becoming one centerpiece of my photography.
I love this photo for its calm beauty and winding road. The only change I made to it was brightening the farmhouse on the upper left of the picture. I seem to be drawn these days to distant farmhouses on hillsides.
As I stepped out of the car to cross the road, I forgot to look around the road, and one of those silent but fast cars came rushing toward me. The driver, a young man on a cellphone (I could see him in the window), didn’t see me either; he slammed on the brakes and screeched to a halt just a few feet from me.
A come-to-Jesus moment for me; life is that that; it is full of crisis and mystery.
This is the closest I came to getting killed since I was a reporter covering the Philadelphia race riots. I was frightened and also embarrassed. It would have been my fault as much as his.
The first thought I had was that if I were going to die, it would at least be for trying to do something creative and meaningful to me. Then I remembered to be shaken up by it; I thought about how I was nearly splattered all across the road with my new tripod and Leica camera.
I mentioned to Maria when I got home that I had been careless in watching the road when I crossed, but I didn’t tell her how close a call it was. I got a mild lecture on being alert on the road.
She would have been much angrier if I told the truth; she is always yelling at me for being careless about cars when I take pictures.
I thought there would be no consolation for Maria or my daughter in a death like that, it was so avoidable, but at least there is meaning in my life. I would be all right, I thought, with dying in that way rather than in some other ways I think of and have seen.
There is little honor or glory in being stupid, I thought. But there is meaning to it.
The photo is important to me, I guess, in part, because I nearly gave my life for it. I suppose that is what they mean by a life filled with passion and meaning.
I don’t think Maria, the dogs, or your daughter and grandchild would think it was worth dying for – nor would the Bishop McGinn students or the Mansion residents. And where would the Army of Good be without its general? You have so much life left in you and still much to accomplish … taking more photos, writing and doing good. At the risk of sounding like your mother … please be more careful Jon!
Ugh! Cell phones. With all are country’s other problems I shouldn’t write about this. But yes you should be more careful while taking pictures – but when I watch other drivers it seems half of them are on their cell phones. I believe cell phone use while driving should be banned in all states. Driving is a full-time job. Not a multi-task endeavor.
Blessings to you, Jon, glad you didn’t get hit. When I’ve had close calls (two car incidents, several falls over the years, illnesses), I have to assume my guardian angels, if there are such entities, were taking good care of me, for which I am grateful. But it is sobering to recognize how precarious one’s existence can be, isn’t it?!
There is a lot of meaning in your life, Jon.
Look both ways.
There are lots of us who would miss you if you get yourself killed, Jon. Be careful out there!
Thank Barbara, I would like to stay alive, I have much to live for …a good wake-up call..
Jon,
The first part of your post was about hatred and nastiness that seems pervasive in our society. People think nothing of flipping people off and throwing f-bombs in public as an American society. It certainly wasn’t like that when I grew up. But, as you address, when you can say anything to anyone behind an anonymous curtain called the internet, then you end up with what we have. I don’t see the internet as a solution to anything. Maybe you should get listed on Amazon as an influencer and people will like you more. I say in jest.
I believe that compassion, inclusion, understanding and the willfulness to help others in need are much better values as a society than the compulsion we have in America for Money and Power. Your example of the author is spot on. If you show those values to other people in America, they generally see that as a sign of weakness and will often strike out at the other person out of fear, ego, and manipulation.
In simplistic terms, Americans value money and wealth and the pursuit of those goals almost over anything else. The rest be damned. We are a country that prides itself on giving off the illusion of money and power through debt.
Several artistic friends I know have been ridiculed for choosing art as a career with the old line, “Yea all America needs is another artist”, or “Is there any money in it?” said sarcastically.
But, thankfully we have the guy in upstate New York fighting our battles for a more humane society through the power of that same media. Keep the fight up and I guess watch out for blind corners and speeding cars.
Good and wise advice, Ed thanks..
When I make a positive comment to someone, who responds, “You’re so sweet.”, it comes across as “You’re being insincere and vapid.”. And yet, kindness and thoughtfulness takes incredible strength, at times. Them’s my thoughts. Thank you, Jon.
Thanks..