“Life is an experimental journey undertaken involuntarily. It is a journey of the spirit through the material world, and since it is the spirit that travels, it is the spirit that is experienced. That is why there exist contemplative souls who have lived more intensely, more widely, more tumultuously than others who have lived their lives purely externally.” – Fernando Pessoa, The Book Of Disquiet.

It seems that more and more, every day, Maria and I have both learned the wisdom of what Pessoa wrote some years ago.

This morning, Maria told me that she had changed how she makes our stove fires now that Spring is coming. She slows down, using smaller twigs, building smaller and quiet fires, sitting quietly in front of them.

I didn’t notice this until she mentioned it, but contemplation and meditation have changed her, just as they have changed me.

Contemplation is one of the very few luxuries that cost nothing. Carl Sandburg wrote that people must find time for themselves. Time is one of the things we spend our whole lives with.

I learned some years ago that it is necessary to go away once in a while by myself and experience loneliness, sit on a rock or a living room chair or go sit in the pasture or the woods, and ask myself some hard questions:

Who am I? Where am I going? What do I want?

Our lives are drowning in distractions, and when I wasn’t careful, I allowed these grievances, distractions, and diversions to take up my time and my life.

Maria has come to this on her own, of course, and both of our lives have significantly benefited from this thoughtfulness, this slowing down, this taking the time to breathe and think and listen.

We are stronger, clearer, and calmer.

This is actual anxiety and depression antidote. This is how we learn who we are, not who people told us we should be.

This leads to truth and wisdom taking the time to think and wonder and hear the birds outside the window.

It might seem like a small thing, but Maria sees life in a new and more peaceful way. We both are. It is an excellent feeling.

Contemplation and meditation wards off, at least for a while, the demons and spirits who swirl in our heads. It’s a never-ending battle, but I can be stronger than them. So can Maria, although she can speak for herself.

Once this sounded sappy to me but sitting at the table this morning, watching Bud jump onto Maria’s lap and the two of them sit reflectively and quietly for a few minutes before plunging into the day’s work, I  realized that this is the path to peace and understanding.

Speaking of which, I’m off to teach my meditation class at the Mansion.

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“If there were a little more silence, if we all kept quiet, maybe we could understand something.” – Federico Fellini